Bell Cheeses at work

[Lady Whistledown]

You have, and are, indeed Edna

Even worse is when the babies are born and they go on at length about how clever their offspring is compared to the rest of the human race.

Yes, the miracle of learning to walk, as mastered by only the cleverest seven billion people ever to have inhabited the earth

Oh, they go instantly from pregnancy bores to baby bores. Daily- hourly?- photos of said child appearing on Facebook until the poor thing is at least ten.

It is amusing when somebody has a particularly odd looking baby though, and people queue up to coo over it and go "Ohhhh, isn't he gorgeous", despite the fact that the unfortunate infant has a face like a rubber Les Dawson mask turned inside-out, and ears the size of a small principality. I always find myself wondering whether the parents can actually see that their child is no looker, or whether it's genetically part of us to think our own offspring are beautiful? Genuine question, that!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

 

[Spicy]

Yes, the miracle of learning to walk, as mastered by only the cleverest seven billion people ever to have inhabited the earth

Oh, they go instantly from pregnancy bores to baby bores. Daily- hourly?- photos of said child appearing on Facebook until the poor thing is at least ten.

It is amusing when somebody has a particularly odd looking baby though, and people queue up to coo over it and go "Ohhhh, isn't he gorgeous", despite the fact that the unfortunate infant has a face like a rubber Les Dawson mask turned inside-out, and ears the size of a small principality. I always find myself wondering whether the parents can actually see that their child is no looker, or whether it's genetically part of us to think our own offspring are beautiful? Genuine question, that!

Someone once said all babies are beautiful.

One woman at work was particularly petite, and must have been all of 5ft and a dog end, but when she brought her baby in it was so BIG she could hardly carry it. Even I was lost for words, in itself a miracle. She became known as "the woman with the giant baby" whenever she came up in conversation.

 

[BBassic]

Yes, the miracle of learning to walk, as mastered by only the cleverest seven billion people ever to have inhabited the earth

Oh, they go instantly from pregnancy bores to baby bores. Daily- hourly?- photos of said child appearing on Facebook until the poor thing is at least ten.

It is amusing when somebody has a particularly odd looking baby though, and people queue up to coo over it and go "Ohhhh, isn't he gorgeous", despite the fact that the unfortunate infant has a face like a rubber Les Dawson mask turned inside-out, and ears the size of a small principality. I always find myself wondering whether the parents can actually see that their child is no looker, or whether it's genetically part of us to think our own offspring are beautiful? Genuine question, that!

Baby photos is one of the primary reasons I bailed out of Facebook. By the time I'd gotten done setting the thing to ignore updates posted by friends of mine with kids I was just left with my rants and my mum posting links from the Daily Mail.

 

[crasher]

Baby photos is one of the primary reasons I bailed out of Facebook. By the time I'd gotten done setting the thing to ignore updates posted by friends of mine with kids I was just left with my rants and my mum posting links from the Daily Mail.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/...-of-my-fanny-says-facebook-mum-20160204105896

 

[brightonrock]

Someone once said all babies are beautiful.

One woman at work was particularly petite, and must have been all of 5ft and a dog end, but when she brought her baby in it was so BIG she could hardly carry it. Even I was lost for words, in itself a miracle. She became known as "the woman with the giant baby" whenever she came up in conversation.

When I was aged about 9 or 10, my teacher had the same - she was tiny, about 5ft, and she came in after maternity leave looking a broken woman in every sense of the word. Her baby was >10lb at birth and looked as long as she was. I remember that was the first time I fully "got" that birth might be a fairly painful experience.

Baby photos is one of the primary reasons I bailed out of Facebook. By the time I'd gotten done setting the thing to ignore updates posted by friends of mine with kids I was just left with my rants and my mum posting links from the Daily Mail.

An old school friend of my gf is posting "365 days of X" where she takes an IDENTICAL photo of her new baby on her back looking puzzled. WHY are you doing that!? You're not the first person to have a child ffs. The photos are EXACTLY THE SAME. YOUR CHILD ISN'T DOING ANYTHING. NOBODY GIVES A TUPPENY ****!!!

The baby isn't called X by the way. That would make things marginally less tedious and infuriating.

 

[Mr Banana]

Yes, the miracle of learning to walk, as mastered by only the cleverest seven billion people ever to have inhabited the earth

Oh, they go instantly from pregnancy bores to baby bores. Daily- hourly?- photos of said child appearing on Facebook until the poor thing is at least ten.

It is amusing when somebody has a particularly odd looking baby though, and people queue up to coo over it and go "Ohhhh, isn't he gorgeous", despite the fact that the unfortunate infant has a face like a rubber Les Dawson mask turned inside-out, and ears the size of a small principality. I always find myself wondering whether the parents can actually see that their child is no looker, or whether it's genetically part of us to think our own offspring are beautiful? Genuine question, that!

I generally enjoy the silliness of Facebook but that whole aspect feels a bit like watching the highly-strung parents smother their poor offspring. Weird that they don't have the self-awareness to see that their extreme over-the-topness is compensating for something missing in their psyches.

"Ears of a small principality" is inspired.

 

[happypig]

We've got one and he's an offspring bore, rather than a baby bore (although he was that too). Never stops going on about how good his kids are at "spawt". The fact that his eldest managed to bag ONE GCSE is eclipsed entirely by his taking three wickets because, as he espouses "exams are bollocks", as is everything he doesn't understand, including half the job he's supposed to go ("why do you need to know what a ping does ?" "because we work with routers and it's very useful" "I think it's shit")

 

[Lady Whistledown]

We've got one and he's an offspring bore, rather than a baby bore (although he was that too). Never stops going on about how good his kids are at "spawt". The fact that his eldest managed to bag ONE GCSE is eclipsed entirely by his taking three wickets because, as he espouses "exams are bollocks", as is everything he doesn't understand, including half the job he's supposed to go ("why do you need to know what a ping does ?" "because we work with routers and it's very useful" "I think it's shit")

Of course if his child aced his exams, but was the fat kid who was always last to be picked for every sports team, he'd be telling you that exercise is for mugs anyway...

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Was one of them born & bred in the Hove area, do you know?

Possibly if he could afford it. Wouldn't you?

 

[Hiney]

Not full-blown bell-cheesery, but there was a CLASSIC example of Seminar Bingo yesterday.

I was at a Social Media Workshop at IBM in Portsmouth.

We had 11 'Deep Dives';
The facilitators 'reached out' 6 times;
'Blue Sky thinking' was encouraged 4 times; and,
we were urged to 'take our customers on a journey' to help them 'find your story, your voice, the power of your network'.

Remarkable.

And bollocks

 

[daveinprague]

Not full-blown bell-cheesery, but there was a CLASSIC example of Seminar Bingo yesterday.

I was at a Social Media Workshop at IBM in Portsmouth.

We had 11 'Deep Dives';
The facilitators 'reached out' 6 times;
'Blue Sky thinking' was encouraged 4 times; and,
we were urged to 'take our customers on a journey' to help them 'find your story, your voice, the power of your network'.

Remarkable.

And bollocks

The people who give these sort of seminars seem normal until they start speaking.
The ability to talk such bollocks with such confidence and sincerity is a skill in itself.

 

[Saturn]

The latest thing where I work is "Agile thinking" which might be good in theory but when the individuals in question who are promoting this new exciting philosophy are simply a bunch of young yes boys, it ceases being worth the time and effort required.

In terms of babies, the in-thing where I work (and probably many other office-based workplaces) is bringing babies into the office which really winds me up.

a) It’s your day off, why are you here?
b) In addition to why are you here, why have you brought your sprog in with you? It will inevitably smell or start crying, both are incredibly annoying and distracting.

In the event that I father I child it will not being visiting my workplace.

 

[disgruntled h blocker]

Working for a large international consultancy I have become immune to typical bullshít bingo, but we have recently gone through an office reorganisation, whereby they cannot use normal words to explain but an 'office restack'. Very facepalmingly american, with the make up of words.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

The people who give these sort of seminars seem normal until they start speaking.
The ability to talk such bollocks with such confidence and sincerity is a skill in itself.

I find there are few things as unnerving as a 'true believer' when it comes to those sorta of people. The kind of person that really seems to think that what happens in their workplace will have a tangible impact somewhere, which is so often not the case.

 

[MF'84]

Apparently one of our colleagues from the floor above has been taking things from the stationary cupboard on our floor... (there is one upstairs as well). The cupboard has now been LOCKED with the key available on request from the 'guardian of the cupboard'.

I was asked my opinion on the matter... I walked away in disbelief

 

[Papak]

Apparently one of our colleagues from the floor above has been taking things from the stationary cupboard on our floor... (there is one upstairs as well). The cupboard has now been LOCKED with the key available on request from the 'guardian of the cupboard'.

I was asked my opinion on the matter... I walked away in disbelief

We have this, 2 key holders - those mostly sat at their desks all day.

Every time I need stationary I leave it unlocked in protest. Not brave enough to just leave the key in the lock tho!

 

[Papak]

Not full-blown bell-cheesery, but there was a CLASSIC example of Seminar Bingo yesterday.

I was at a Social Media Workshop at IBM in Portsmouth.

We had 11 'Deep Dives';
The facilitators 'reached out' 6 times;
'Blue Sky thinking' was encouraged 4 times; and,
we were urged to 'take our customers on a journey' to help them 'find your story, your voice, the power of your network'.

Remarkable.

And bollocks

How about "Holistic" - gets my goat.

 

[Norman Potting]

Welcome back BCAW I've missed you��

 

[Iggle Piggle]

I was in Trap 2 today when the door crashed in Trap 1 disturbing my peace and quiet (world of tank being my preference for a gaming break) Expecting the normal sounds and smell to come wafting over, to my horror the tell tale sound of Schlup schlup schlup starts to eminate instead. Who has a crafty one of the wrist at work? Working in IT it's not as if we are surrounded by hot marketing checks and material is zero. I wanted to find out who it was but listening to the shooting match was too much for me