Bell Cheeses at work

[McTavish]

Interesting variant on the "Alpha Male" displays a few pages back.

I work for a wholesaler and one of the bell-cheese salespeople has a habit of displaying his ENORMOUS knowledge of the market by always dropping names into discussions. We have a monthly sales meeting to discuss progress, prospects etc and whenever other reps are reporting he will always say things like, "Is Alan still there?" or, "I used to deal with them when I was at my last company, Jim's a great guy isn't he?" These interjections are designed solely to show that Mr B-C has a fantastic network and could be handling other people's accounts better than they are if only given the chance.

We have just taken over another company and so have doubled the size of the sales force; the new company brings with it another contact-dropper. I was at our first combined sales meeting yesterday and each was attempting to outdo the other with the depth of their knowledge. Something like this:

Reporting salesman: Blah Blah Blah Blah Company X Blah Blah
BC 1: Company X? Is Barry still the buyer there?
BC 2: Barry's a laugh isn't he? Did he replace Bill?
BC1: Yes, no flies on Bill, eh? Couldn't half drink.
BC 2: Aye, loved a beer did Bill but Mike could drink him under the table.
BC1: Do you mean Mike in finance or Mike in marketing?
BC2 Mike in finance, Mike in marketing has gone to Company Y
BC1: Company Y? Is Gary still the buyer there....
[Repeat to fade]

At times it was almost Beckettesque.

 

[Notters]

Not at work as such but am on the train to London and a guy has just got on at Haywards Heath and sat opposite me. He's eating a tin of sardines! Seriously of all the things to eat on a train.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Should start a bell cheeses in the family thread but on the dogs topic my sister in law keeps insisting that I bring my 4 year old so round to get him used to their dog which he is scared shitless of and hates (can't think where he gets it from). At the weekend. Or next weekend. Or the weekend after. What is it with animal people? Just because you love your damp smelling, slavering, shit producing, woof machine doesn't mean anyone else does. He's not being friendly, he's being F**kig annoying. He doesn't find him cute, he finds him scary. We'd be more likely to come round if you stuck him in the garden. Or the North Korean take away.

 

[Norman Potting]

Welcome back old friend - is there an NSC Thread Hall of Fame?

 

[wellquickwoody]

Not at work as such but am on the train to London and a guy has just got on at Haywards Heath and sat opposite me. He's eating a tin of sardines! Seriously of all the things to eat on a train.

Make him spill it!

 

[Gwylan]

Not at work as such but am on the train to London and a guy has just got on at Haywards Heath and sat opposite me. He's eating a tin of sardines! Seriously of all the things to eat on a train.

Don't see what's unusual about this TBH. When I come back from London,more often that not there'll be someone in the carriage eating a burger. While I wouldn't like to smell sardines either, they're a considerable improvement on burgers

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Don't see what's unusual about this TBH. When I come back from London,more often that not there'll be someone in the carriage eating a burger. While I wouldn't like to smell sardines either, they're a considerable improvement on burgers

He's eating a TIN OF SARDINES. On the ****ing TRAIN. Seriously, if that doesn't scream 'wrong' to you, then l'm afraid you may just be one of THEM.

 

[Postman Pat]

He's eating a TIN OF SARDINES. On the ****ing TRAIN. Seriously, if that doesn't scream 'wrong' to you, then l'm afraid you may just be one of THEM.

This!! There are foods that are acceptable to eat in a public place, burgers, hotdogs, pies.....etc...

If the person next to me at the Amex tonight starts tucking into a tin of Sardines...we may have an issue. Wrong on so many levels.

 

[Notters]

Update: I didn't notice at first but he wasn't eating the sardines with a fork as I thought. He was shovelling them in with the top of a yellow Bic biro! What the feck. And the sardines absolutely stank. Far worse than a burger. I didn't move until he put his headphones in though, when he stuck on "I should be so lucky" at 97 decibels.

 

[Gwylan]

He's eating a TIN OF SARDINES. On the ****ing TRAIN. Seriously, if that doesn't scream 'wrong' to you, then l'm afraid you may just be one of THEM.

It does scream wrong but then so do burgers. I genuinely don't understand why smelly food A is Ok and equally smelly food B is wrong. People shouldn't be eating smelly food on trains full stop. What next? Curry?

 

[Badger]

Update: I didn't notice at first but he wasn't eating the sardines with a fork as I thought. He was shovelling them in with the top of a yellow Bic biro! What the feck. And the sardines absolutely stank. Far worse than a burger. I didn't move until he put his headphones in though, when he stuck on "I should be so lucky" at 97 decibels.

How old is this guy? I'm picturing either an old guy who has always eaten sardines on a train, or a young guy who just doesn't want to conform and likes to be radical.

Loud headphones though

 

[dazzer6666]

It does scream wrong but then so do burgers. I genuinely don't understand why smelly food A is Ok and equally smelly food B is wrong. People shouldn't be eating smelly food on trains full stop. What next? Curry?

I'm with you on this up to a point.............that point usually being when I have been on the lash after work and HAVE to eat something on the way home. Only difference is that after about 10pm almost everyone on the train is eating smelly food. Sardines from the tin using your pen as a fork, during daylight hours, is still wrong.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I really can't be doing with going through the entire thread again (well, maybe another time), so I'll just ask: have we mentioned pregnancy bores yet?

Perhaps you chaps aren't subjected to quite the same levels of tedium from female members of the office staff, but, my GOD, these sorts can be dull, can't they? I feel slightly guilty for saying this, but there you go. There are certain ladies who, when with child tend to be of the opinion that everybody else needs- no...WANTS...to hear every intimate detail of their ongoing condition, about every episode of constipation, trapped wind, sleeplessness, nausea, that, moreover, we'd all love to share the joy of their scan photos, labour preferences, nursery painting plans and so on, until the child finally and mercifully makes its appearance. Worst of all is when- as happened in an office of mine some time ago- there are two of them at once. The ones I encountered spent the entire working day comparing stories, doing very little actual work, and declining to offer assistance with anybody else's workload because they were "too tired". Not too tired to chat all day, though, obviously.

I know. I've let down the entire female gender with this post. I am a bad human.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Interesting variant on the "Alpha Male" displays a few pages back.

I work for a wholesaler and one of the bell-cheese salespeople has a habit of displaying his ENORMOUS knowledge of the market by always dropping names into discussions. We have a monthly sales meeting to discuss progress, prospects etc and whenever other reps are reporting he will always say things like, "Is Alan still there?" or, "I used to deal with them when I was at my last company, Jim's a great guy isn't he?" These interjections are designed solely to show that Mr B-C has a fantastic network and could be handling other people's accounts better than they are if only given the chance.

We have just taken over another company and so have doubled the size of the sales force; the new company brings with it another contact-dropper. I was at our first combined sales meeting yesterday and each was attempting to outdo the other with the depth of their knowledge. Something like this:

Reporting salesman: Blah Blah Blah Blah Company X Blah Blah
BC 1: Company X? Is Barry still the buyer there?
BC 2: Barry's a laugh isn't he? Did he replace Bill?
BC1: Yes, no flies on Bill, eh? Couldn't half drink.
BC 2: Aye, loved a beer did Bill but Mike could drink him under the table.
BC1: Do you mean Mike in finance or Mike in marketing?
BC2 Mike in finance, Mike in marketing has gone to Company Y
BC1: Company Y? Is Gary still the buyer there....
[Repeat to fade]

At times it was almost Beckettesque.

Was one of them born & bred in the Hove area, do you know?

 

[WhingForPresident]

Update: I didn't notice at first but he wasn't eating the sardines with a fork as I thought. He was shovelling them in with the top of a yellow Bic biro! What the feck. And the sardines absolutely stank. Far worse than a burger. I didn't move until he put his headphones in though, when he stuck on "I should be so lucky" at 97 decibels.

What a man

 

[The Fifth Column]

I really can't be doing with going through the entire thread again (well, maybe another time), so I'll just ask: have we mentioned pregnancy bores yet?

Perhaps you chaps aren't subjected to quite the same levels of tedium from female members of the office staff, but, my GOD, these sorts can be dull, can't they? I feel slightly guilty for saying this, but there you go. There are certain ladies who, when with child tend to be of the opinion that everybody else needs- no...WANTS...to hear every intimate detail of their ongoing condition, about every episode of constipation, trapped wind, sleeplessness, nausea, that, moreover, we'd all love to share the joy of their scan photos, labour preferences, nursery painting plans and so on, until the child finally and mercifully makes its appearance. Worst of all is when- as happened in an office of mine some time ago- there are two of them at once. The ones I encountered spent the entire working day comparing stories, doing very little actual work, and declining to offer assistance with anybody else's workload because they were "too tired". Not too tired to chat all day, though, obviously.

I know. I've let down the entire female gender with this post. I am a bad human.

Good call! Can I throw into the mix people with 'reputations'. More often than not they are people either on other teams or soon to be joining yours and the blathering rumour mongers love someone with a 'reputation', they delight in embellishing said persons 'reputation' by repeating uncorroborated and usually made up stories about how Pam in admin once crossed Darryl and his legendary response in giving her a damn good dressing down, yawn! Or the shaggers with a 'reputation', particularly those that are aware of their reputation and revel in it and actively seek to enhance it by shagging anything in the office with a pulse preferably of course in work time for extra kudos and in a work motor or office for double extra kudos. Bellcheesery at its finest.

 

[Badger]

I really can't be doing with going through the entire thread again (well, maybe another time), so I'll just ask: have we mentioned pregnancy bores yet?

Perhaps you chaps aren't subjected to quite the same levels of tedium from female members of the office staff, but, my GOD, these sorts can be dull, can't they? I feel slightly guilty for saying this, but there you go. There are certain ladies who, when with child tend to be of the opinion that everybody else needs- no...WANTS...to hear every intimate detail of their ongoing condition, about every episode of constipation, trapped wind, sleeplessness, nausea, that, moreover, we'd all love to share the joy of their scan photos, labour preferences, nursery painting plans and so on, until the child finally and mercifully makes its appearance. Worst of all is when- as happened in an office of mine some time ago- there are two of them at once. The ones I encountered spent the entire working day comparing stories, doing very little actual work, and declining to offer assistance with anybody else's workload because they were "too tired". Not too tired to chat all day, though, obviously.

I know. I've let down the entire female gender with this post. I am a bad human.

God yes, I have experienced this on many occassions. So many times I'd go to the kitchen to have a quick break and get myself a cup of tea, only to be CONFRONTED by a small* group of women discussing the intimate details of the IMPENDING baby. Of course once the baby is born they go from PREGNANT bore to PARENT bore, something I've experienced far more. I used to work with a woman who would CONSTANTLY talk about how hard it is being a parent, in a way that suggested she didn't realise that half the other people in the office were also parents. Of course if, like myself, you didn't have kids you'd get the whole "you won't understand until you have children" spiel.





* I say small, but obviously one is pregnant and there's GUARANTEED to be a CHUBSTER in the kitchen.

 

[Spicy]

I really can't be doing with going through the entire thread again (well, maybe another time), so I'll just ask: have we mentioned pregnancy bores yet?

Perhaps you chaps aren't subjected to quite the same levels of tedium from female members of the office staff, but, my GOD, these sorts can be dull, can't they? I feel slightly guilty for saying this, but there you go. There are certain ladies who, when with child tend to be of the opinion that everybody else needs- no...WANTS...to hear every intimate detail of their ongoing condition, about every episode of constipation, trapped wind, sleeplessness, nausea, that, moreover, we'd all love to share the joy of their scan photos, labour preferences, nursery painting plans and so on, until the child finally and mercifully makes its appearance. Worst of all is when- as happened in an office of mine some time ago- there are two of them at once. The ones I encountered spent the entire working day comparing stories, doing very little actual work, and declining to offer assistance with anybody else's workload because they were "too tired". Not too tired to chat all day, though, obviously.

I know. I've let down the entire female gender with this post. I am a bad human.

You have, and are, indeed Edna

Even worse is when the babies are born and they go on at length about how clever their offspring is compared to the rest of the human race.

 

[Cian]

I didn't move until he put his headphones in though, when he stuck on "I should be so lucky" at 97 decibels.

The train to the station near my office gets to cram capacity and a few weeks ago I was jammed against someone who listened to You Win Again by the Beegees at top volume three times in twenty minutes.

He was about 25 at most, which made it weirder.

 

[The Fifth Column]

I really can't be doing with going through the entire thread again (well, maybe another time), so I'll just ask: have we mentioned pregnancy bores yet?

Perhaps you chaps aren't subjected to quite the same levels of tedium from female members of the office staff, but, my GOD, these sorts can be dull, can't they? I feel slightly guilty for saying this, but there you go. There are certain ladies who, when with child tend to be of the opinion that everybody else needs- no...WANTS...to hear every intimate detail of their ongoing condition, about every episode of constipation, trapped wind, sleeplessness, nausea, that, moreover, we'd all love to share the joy of their scan photos, labour preferences, nursery painting plans and so on, until the child finally and mercifully makes its appearance. Worst of all is when- as happened in an office of mine some time ago- there are two of them at once. The ones I encountered spent the entire working day comparing stories, doing very little actual work, and declining to offer assistance with anybody else's workload because they were "too tired". Not too tired to chat all day, though, obviously.

I know. I've let down the entire female gender with this post. I am a bad human.

Good call! Can I throw into the mix people with 'reputations'. More often than not they are people either on other teams or soon to be joining yours and the blathering rumour mongers love someone with a 'reputation', they delight in embellishing said persons 'reputation' by repeating uncorroborated and usually made up stories about how Pam in admin once crossed Darryl and his legendary response in giving her a damn good dressing down, yawn! Or the shaggers with a 'reputation', particularly those that are aware of their reputation and revel in it and actively seek to enhance it by shagging anything in the office with a pulse preferably of course in work time for extra kudos and in a work motor or office for double extra kudos. Bellcheesery at its finest.