Bell Cheeses at work

[Norman Potting]

Haven't got time to read over the full details of this argument, could someone ping over a brief run through of the main topics so I can take it offline and feedback my findings by close of play tomorrow?

Hopefully it is now car parked and I can get back to enjoying the foibles of office life which I have now been gone from for 10+ years.

 

[The Fifth Column]

I'm now seriously considering taking out a workplace grievance against Simster for potentially offending someone with his comments earlier. I'm fairly confident we can blow it out of all proportion and spend an inordinate amount of time and money investigating the matter as if it was a double murder to ultimately reach the decision to 'tell him off'.

Surely there must be some top examples of workplace grievance bellcheesery we can run up this threads flagpole?

Simster, you have the statutory 7 days to forward your insincere response.

 

[Brian Fantana]

People in one corner of the office are seriously debating cracking out the Christmas decorations.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I read this thread on a regular basis, I think it's my favourite, so, back on track.
I don't work with any bellcheeses, there's only me and my missus, but the bloke who used to deliver my egg order smells basically. He has breath that would be offensive to a person with no nose, and his B.O. was at that sour onion stage, but even worse was the jokes, or puns on eggs.
From" EGGcellent" when I paid him to "It's no yoke" to anything, to "You'll have to SHELL out £28 pound a box" when asked the price. There were a fair few others, but, thankfully I have managed to wipe them from my memory.
It got so bad, that in the end I changed supplier even though I now pay slightly more, it's really worth it though

Man. That's a lot of eggs. You and your missus must have turds like breezeblocks.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I rarely get to discuss my bell-cheese. He is a smelly Asian gentleman with absolutely zero ability to work things out for himself. As a result, he is the least valuable member of the team despite being here 5 years longer than anybody else.

Today he has wangled himself onto a course. It is a course I wouldn't have minded doing myself, in a technology I have used in my spare time for the benefit of the firm. As soon as he found it was on, he rushed up to our boss to make sure he was on it. What annoys me is that will not use it at all because he does absolutely nothing to improve the department's infrastructure. In fact, he doesn't do anything that requires dynamic thinking, ever, except to ensure he is first in the queue when it comes to organising holidays around the popular times of the year. I don't like him.

Are you a member of AC/DC?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

People in one corner of the office are seriously debating cracking out the Christmas decorations.

You seem to have mispelled 'wankers'.

Latest update here, is that CRISPS has actually cut back on crisps. Possibly down to one standard bag per day now of those.

This is because she has discovered P O P C O R N.

SACKS of POPCORN.

 

[Brian Fantana]

You seem to have mispelled 'wankers'.

Latest update here, is that CRISPS has actually cut back on crisps. Possibly down to one standard bag per day now of those.

This is because she has discovered P O P C O R N.

SACKS of POPCORN.

Intriguing. Does she think that popcorn is somehow lighter and healthier than hoards of crisps?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Intriguing. Does she think that popcorn is somehow lighter and healthier than hoards of crisps?

I would imagine that's what is behind the switch, yes - a belief in the fat-burning, health-boosting properties of SACKS of 'skinny' popcorn. The ****.

On the plus side, popcorn is less CRUNCHY than crisps.
On the down side, the *rustle, rustle* of the bag, goes on for EVER.

and ever.

 

[Brian Fantana]

I would imagine that's what is behind the switch, yes - a belief in the fat-burning, health-boosting properties of SACKS of 'skinny' popcorn. The ****.

On the plus side, popcorn is less CRUNCHY than crisps.
On the down side, the *rustle, rustle* of the bag, goes on for EVER.

and ever.

It must be a total NIGHTMARE for the cleaners, too. Judging by trips to the cinema, tiny fragments of popcorn go absolutely everywhere.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

It must be a total NIGHTMARE for the cleaners, too. Judging by trips to the cinema, tiny fragments of popcorn go absolutely everywhere.

No. There's no way this woman WASTES any.

 

[dazzer6666]

I would imagine that's what is behind the switch, yes - a belief in the fat-burning, health-boosting properties of SACKS of 'skinny' popcorn. The ****.

On the plus side, popcorn is less CRUNCHY than crisps.
On the down side, the *rustle, rustle* of the bag, goes on for EVER.

and ever.

......and if it's flavoured it STINKS......

 

[Box of Frogs]

We had a TOWN HALL meeting at our place a week or so ago. Many puzzled faces around the office when received the email invite to attend, with questions such as "Are we getting a coach to the TOWN HALL" etc.

Luckily for me, being a keen reader of this thread, I was able to advise those not in the know exactly what a TOWN HALL meeting is!

 

[Gwylan]

We had a TOWN HALL meeting at our place a week or so ago. Many puzzled faces around the office when received the email invite to attend, with questions such as "Are we getting a coach to the TOWN HALL" etc.

Luckily for me, being a keen reader of this thread, I was able to advise those not in the know exactly what a TOWN HALL meeting is!

What the hell's a Town Hall meeting? That one passed me by (I'd have been one of those thinking about getting a coach down to The Lanes)

 

[tinycowboy]

I have a Town Hall meeting tomorrow. I always think of Trumpton Town Hall when it's mentioned, and I continue daydreaming about living a quiet, but largely happy life in the imaginary town of Trumpton whilst the Town Hall meeting is taking place. If I have to speak at the Town Hall, I imagine I'm Mr Troop the Town clerk, addressing Chippy and Jeff Minton, Mr Platt the Clockmaker and Junior McDougald.

 

[Igzilla]

We had a TOWN HALL meeting at our place a week or so ago. Many puzzled faces around the office when received the email invite to attend, with questions such as "Are we getting a coach to the TOWN HALL" etc.

Luckily for me, being a keen reader of this thread, I was able to advise those not in the know exactly what a TOWN HALL meeting is!

Your colleagues must be in awe of you right now!

 

[Cian]

What the hell's a Town Hall meeting? That one passed me by (I'd have been one of those thinking about getting a coach down to The Lanes)

A full company meeting, in an American owned firm, usually.

I can't find my previous posts about the three disastrous hires from a rival firm that is known for its "strict PMDS culture" and similar buzzwords, but a second of them was given the bullet today. The third seems to have adapted to non-PMDS life now, luckily for her.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

You seem to have mispelled 'wankers'.

Latest update here, is that CRISPS has actually cut back on crisps. Possibly down to one standard bag per day now of those.

This is because she has discovered P O P C O R N.

SACKS of POPCORN.

"Its only got 99 calories"

Not the whole bag whale features.

 

[pb21]

People, more specifically men, who whilst you are having a conversation with them, put there hands behind the head and elbows out to the side, like neanderthal gorillas. There were two plums both doing this whilst chatting in my office earlier!

 

[8ace]

We had a TOWN HALL meeting at our place a week or so ago. Many puzzled faces around the office when received the email invite to attend, with questions such as "Are we getting a coach to the TOWN HALL" etc.

Luckily for me, being a keen reader of this thread, I was able to advise those not in the know exactly what a TOWN HALL meeting is!

I used to love Town Hall meetings as soon as I discovered that no-one would miss me if I didn't go - must have done this at least 10 times.
The best one was when coincided with a county game at Hove, I was sat in the sun drinking whilst the rest of the company were stuck in the hotel listening to some gobshite.

 

[Uncle Buck]

I used to love Town Hall meetings as soon as I discovered that no-one would miss me if I didn't go - must have done this at least 10 times.
The best one was when coincided with a county game at Hove, I was sat in the sun drinking whilst the rest of the company were stuck in the hotel listening to some gobshite.

However with Sussex batting collapses last season, a Town Hall Meeting might have been the better alternative...