Bell Cheeses at work

[Wilko]

Anyone heard this one? My deputy head teacher always asks if we can 'helicopter out of this conversation' if we are not on topic. What a BELLCHEESE.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Crikey, that is quite staggering. Is she one of those people who throws back her head, turns the bag upside down, opens wide and TIPS the last few bits down into her gaping maw ? I have a particular loathing for those specimens.

Thats the best bit of eating a packet of crisps isn't it??

Mmmnah, not for me. I just use my fingers, rather than holding the packet up in the air and tossing my head back like a horse with a nosebag.

I get everything delivered to work

*tenders resignation from Overseas Office of BCIL*

(I do do all the IT purchasing so there's work stuff coming in my name all the time, if that's any defence)

No defence at all. Consider yourself tried and sentenced.

I'm sensing a split in resources that could seriously impact our ability to leverage synergy. We might need to touch base. Shall I get in some extra hard biscuits and three bottles of Hildon Mineral Water?

 

[BHAFC_Pandapops]

I work in a fairly small shop, times are hard, it's bringing in a fair amount, etc. There's this girl I've been working with for just over half a year now. When she started, she said to me "no offence but you (and two others who have since left) look like you're having too much fun, unlike those two I actually give a s**t about working here and want to make it my career." Not exactly the best thing to say to your new colleague.

Literally a month after she started she's the last one in, first one out. Closes early because "she gets paid till 5 and would like to be out on the DOT." Thus, when I've had a day off I get back to a s**t storm, as all of the housekeeping duties supposed to have been done the night before haven't been done, because she's gone 5 minutes early.

Attitude changes when boss is around though, obviously.

She wondered off the other Saturday when it was very busy, deputy manager gave her a bollocking, then the next day I got this following sob story: "____ had a go at me!! It's so annoying, I feel like she needs to rein it in. It's like she thinks I'm a child! I'm 24! I can do what I want!"

That really happened...unfortunately changing jobs is a minefield for me atm, so this is eating my soul.

 

[Spicy]

Isn't that always the way, when you think of (or see) exactly what you SHOULD have said at the time. Duly stored.

Think women get away with more than men sometimes and sarcasm often works by giving a little "good humoured" laugh at the end of what is said, even if fuming.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

In fairness, I usually have my Amazons delivered to work too (indeed I had a delivery here only yesterday). But I don't then feel the urge to parade my newly-purchased wares through the office seeking comment and approval.

As well as my boys' copy of FIFA16, I've just taken delivery of a new pair of goalkeeping bottoms/leggings. I wonder, should I pop to the gents and slip them on, then stroll back into the office and ask everyone how they look (with my brown leather shoes and work shirt)?

 

[Cian]

three bottles of Hildon Mineral Water?

This just reminded me of the incredibly BC-ish water supplier my last office had was "Glenpatrick Water Solutions". Almost a bad enough name to begin with, except they used to write "Glenpatrick Water" in very small letters and then "SOLUTIONS" across the entire size of the 25L tank.

"Solutions" should only exist for actual problems. Not water coolers.

 

[Easy 10]

As well as my boys' copy of FIFA16, I've just taken delivery of a new pair of goalkeeping bottoms/leggings. I wonder, should I pop to the gents and slip them on, then stroll back into the office and ask everyone how they look (with my brown leather shoes and work shirt)?

I think it would be remiss not to. If the Amazon BC in my office took such a delivery, I'm pretty sure he'd also do a couple of practice dives in them over by the lifts.

 

[skipper734]

As well as my boys' copy of FIFA16, I've just taken delivery of a new pair of goalkeeping bottoms/leggings. I wonder, should I pop to the gents and slip them on, then stroll back into the office and ask everyone how they look (with my brown leather shoes and work shirt)?

Brown shoes! What colour is your suit?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Brown shoes! What colour is your suit?

Mercifully, we are not at all for formal. My suit is a pair of jeans

 

[skipper734]

Mercifully, we are not at all for formal. My suit is a pair of jeans

 

[MattBackHome]

Morning all,

There is a FLAT CAP being worn in the office.

The perpetrator is not a northerner, and I do not work on the set of Last of the Summer Wine. No excuses for this in my book

 

[Simster]

I rarely get to discuss my bell-cheese. He is a smelly Asian gentleman with absolutely zero ability to work things out for himself. As a result, he is the least valuable member of the team despite being here 5 years longer than anybody else.

Today he has wangled himself onto a course. It is a course I wouldn't have minded doing myself, in a technology I have used in my spare time for the benefit of the firm. As soon as he found it was on, he rushed up to our boss to make sure he was on it. What annoys me is that will not use it at all because he does absolutely nothing to improve the department's infrastructure. In fact, he doesn't do anything that requires dynamic thinking, ever, except to ensure he is first in the queue when it comes to organising holidays around the popular times of the year. I don't like him.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Morning all,

There is a FLAT CAP being worn in the office.

The perpetrator is not a northerner, and I do not work on the set of Last of the Summer Wine. No excuses for this in my book

My mum was walking along Brighton seafront yesterday and stopped for a coffee. At the same caff (due to Labour conference) was Nick Robinson, dressed as he would be on telly and talking loudly with some Labour gurus. Once everyone had noticed him he then got up, put on a flat cap and shuffled off with his head down. Quite odd really.

It's not him is it?

 

[MattBackHome]

My mum was walking along Brighton seafront yesterday and stopped for a coffee. At the same caff (due to Labour conference) was Nick Robinson, dressed as he would be on telly and talking loudly with some Labour gurus. Once everyone had noticed him he then got up, put on a flat cap and shuffled off with his head down. Quite odd really.

It's not him is it?

Sadly not. Nick Robinson is successful, eloquent and astute and I'm not sure would be a good fit here.

 

[McTavish]

"Solutions" should only exist for actual problems. Not water coolers.

I am thinking of starting a company selling brine and calling it Solution Solutions.

 

[pb21]

I rarely get to discuss my bell-cheese. He is a smelly Asian gentleman with absolutely zero ability to work things out for himself. As a result, he is the least valuable member of the team despite being here 5 years longer than anybody else.

What would be worse; a smelly African, a smelly Asian, a smelly European or a smelly racist?

 

[Simster]

What would be worse; a smelly African, a smelly Asian, a smelly European or a smelly racist?

Are you calling me a racist because I described him as a smelly Asian? He is smelly, he is Asian. There are three Asians in the team - the other two are absolutely top blokes.

If I had said he was smelly chubster, would you be all indignant too?

 

[pb21]

Are you calling me a racist because I described him as a smelly Asian? He is smelly, he is Asian. There are three Asians in the team - the other two are absolutely top blokes.

If I had said he was smelly chubster, would you be all indignant too?

No, just wondering what you think would be worse.

 

[Simster]

No, just wondering what you think would be worse.

No you weren't, so please pipe down with your soppy sixth-former sensitivities. This is a thread for grown up working people.

 

[pb21]

No you weren't, so please pipe down with your soppy sixth-former sensitivities. This is a thread for grown up working people.

So what would be worse?