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Bell Cheeses at work







Lankyseagull

One Step Beyond
Jul 25, 2006
1,842
The Field of Uck
I have a colleague who, when I am out of the office, will leave me important messages written by hand on scrap bits of paper on my desk instead of sending an e-mail to me, meaning I don't get them until I'm back in the office.

On the other hand, she e-mails me when I'm in the office, sitting a few feet away from me, when she could quite easily just talk to me!

Aaarrrggghhh!
 


Gullflyinghigh

Registered User
Apr 23, 2012
4,279
I honestly don't know how I would react if I walked in and saw that Monday morning.
I do. It would involve as much sellotape as I could find.

I have one BC who is a particularly vigorous and often incorrect user of pseudo-management speech. He reached a new high today when he asked my advice on a deal that he was putting together and showed me a very confusing spreadsheet. I asked him what one column represented and he told me, "That's the value cascading into the margin." "WTF??!!," said I. Turns out he meant "profit."

He also uses "that's a bit lastminutedotcom," completely un-ironically.

I am slowly dying inside...

I used to share an office with a bumbling middle-aged chubster who used to always be 'confused.com'. The worst part was that as she was drastically thick, she was using it completely seriously.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,759
Chandlers Ford
I used to work with a bloke who used 'it's all a bit lastminute.com' ALL the time. He wasn't really in the BC category though.

Yes he was.

My boss uses lastminute.com, and confused.com.

Surely it must be worth asking if he is a bellcheese.com???

Surely you don't need to?
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,829
Uffern
I have a colleague who, when I am out of the office, will leave me important messages written by hand on scrap bits of paper on my desk instead of sending an e-mail to me, meaning I don't get them until I'm back in the office.

In the days before email, I worked in an office where the boss would leave notes of instructions to me ... in Latin.

I don't know if that's bell-cheesery or not but it was really annoying
 




BlockDpete

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2005
1,144
In the days before email, I worked in an office where the boss would leave notes of instructions to me ... in Latin.

I don't know if that's bell-cheesery or not but it was really annoying

BC and annoying I would say. Was he the Pope or something?

On that note, can someone please tell me what "Granularity" means. Seen it used in an work email today. Top Business BS it would seem.
 


Phat Baz 68

Get a ****ing life mate !
Apr 16, 2011
5,026
Anyone of you ever thought that they may think that YOU are the Bell Cheese at work ?
Probably not, as their are a fair few NSC'ers who are so far up their own Council Gritters they wouldn't realise what a Bell Cheese they really are or even admit it.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Anyone of you ever thought that they may think that YOU are the Bell Cheese at work ?
Probably not, as their are a fair few NSC'ers who are so far up their own Council Gritters they wouldn't realise what a Bell Cheese they really are or even admit it.

As much as I love this thread, I've often wondered, are the people who work with the people who post on here, on their own forum of preference posting stuff like "There's a guy who would rather get upset about a dog in the office than do his work" or "There's a guy who whenever I walk past his desk is on a football site. He doesn't know it but we can all see him moaning about us when in fact everyone else in the office thinks he's a knob".

Or more to the point "Why does he continue to work in a place where he is miserable and hates everyone but never does anything about it".

But mostly it's a good thread.
 




BlockDpete

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2005
1,144
Anyone of you ever thought that they may think that YOU are the Bell Cheese at work ?
Probably not, as their are a fair few NSC'ers who are so far up their own Council Gritters they wouldn't realise what a Bell Cheese they really are or even admit it.

I think most people who post on this thread are the type who are quite happy to just to get on with their work, without the drama that others seem to need.
 


Phat Baz 68

Get a ****ing life mate !
Apr 16, 2011
5,026
As much as I love this thread, I've often wondered, are the people who work with the people who post on here, on their own forum of preference posting stuff like "There's a guy who would rather get upset about a dog in the office than do his work" or "There's a guy who whenever I walk past his desk is on a football site. He doesn't know it but we can all see him moaning about us when in fact everyone else in the office thinks he's a knob".

Or more to the point "Why does he continue to work in a place where he is miserable and hates everyone but never does anything about it".

But mostly it's a good thread.

This !! Well said
 


Igzilla

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2012
1,708
Worthing
I actually like an overwhelming majority of the people I work with now, and those I have worked with in the past. It's the odd one or two that press my buttons (and not in a good way, I hasten to add).
 




Ken Livingstone Seagull

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2003
512
Maui, Hawaii
On that note, can someone please tell me what "Granularity" means. Seen it used in an work email today. Top Business BS it would seem.

Ah, Granularity. I know it well. Translates as "detailed".

First you do some "Blue Sky Thinking" and look "through the disaggregation lens" from "the 30,000 foot level". Then you consider "the synergies", evaluate "the zeitgeist" and having reworked "the paradigm", "drill down" to a "granular level." Only problem is, you may then feel "silo'd".

Got it?

:ffsparr:
 


Igzilla

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2012
1,708
Worthing
Ah, Granularity. I know it well. Translates as "detailed".

First you do some "Blue Sky Thinking" and look "through the disaggregation lens" from "the 30,000 foot level". Then you consider "the synergies", evaluate "the zeitgeist" and having reworked "the paradigm", "drill down" to a "granular level." Only problem is, you may then feel "silo'd".

Got it?

:ffsparr:

Only works if you've parked it and taken it off line.
 


kc1

New member
Nov 11, 2011
133
Current buzz word in my office is Collaboration. Attended a conference, each key speaker said it 10-20 times...forced to go on Collaboration courses so we can all work as one team. It will never happen.
 






The Rattler

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jun 30, 2010
955
Dullsville, Herts
A former boss of mine was prone to getting his words mixed up. Several times I watched him tell team meetings "we need to get some inertia going".
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,829
Uffern
As much as I love this thread, I've often wondered, are the people who work with the people who post on here, on their own forum of preference posting stuff like "There's a guy who would rather get upset about a dog in the office than do his work" or "There's a guy who whenever I walk past his desk is on a football site. He doesn't know it but we can all see him moaning about us when in fact everyone else in the office thinks he's a knob".

Or more to the point "Why does he continue to work in a place where he is miserable and hates everyone but never does anything about it".

But mostly it's a good thread.

I did raise that very point ... but it was quite a few pages back now
 


Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,552
In the field
Oh. Boy.

We've got a new starter today in our office, and within 58 minutes he's already caused a STIR. And the reason?

He's brought in his own MINI FRIDGE to house his lunch, and has plugged it in next to his desk. I'm not yet sure if this has strayed into bell cheese territory, or whether it's just plain odd.
 




Gullflyinghigh

Registered User
Apr 23, 2012
4,279
Oh. Boy.

We've got a new starter today in our office, and within 58 minutes he's already caused a STIR. And the reason?

He's brought in his own MINI FRIDGE to house his lunch, and has plugged it in next to his desk. I'm not yet sure if this has strayed into bell cheese territory, or whether it's just plain odd.
Just how much lunch does he need to store?

Is it possible that this is his way of avoiding blocking up a communal fridge and raising the ire of his new colleagues?

I admit, it sounds pretty unlikely, but it's got to be at least slightly possible (though it's probably more a case that he's a bit odd).
 


Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,956
Oh. Boy.

We've got a new starter today in our office, and within 58 minutes he's already caused a STIR. And the reason?

He's brought in his own MINI FRIDGE to house his lunch, and has plugged it in next to his desk. I'm not yet sure if this has strayed into bell cheese territory, or whether it's just plain odd.

Surely this must be Health and safety tested? Our mini fridge has got more H&S stickers than a Panini album. It's also got it's own ecosystem as it hasn't been cleaned since Blair was PM.

I'd say that's OK. At least it shows organisation which is more than 90% of my co-workers can show.
 


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