Bell Cheeses at work

[Paul Reids Sock]

Up until 2 weeks ago I had the most IRRITATING woman sitting next to me. There was no time when she was at her desk and not making a sound, she would either be humming, singing, eating junk food (she was a CHUBSTER), reading emails ALOUD as she typed them or having a very loud phone conversation. The majority of her phone calls were personal ones, usually when she was ordering something for her flat, I once heard her use the phrase "I'm after some cushion covers to complement my large, contemporary, interior space". Oh and she was completely incapable of pronouncing the letter 'T'.

We didn't speak for the last month after I had a go at her for describing one of her colleagues as a c**t, she even went on to say he was unprofessional. Pot, kettle!

It's hard to project just how much I disliked her.

Reading emails aloud does my head in! Especially when they are meant to be confidential (although it can be nice to eavesdrop on them)

Another one that gets me is people reading an email you are typing and then going 'OH OH OH, you've made a mistake there'

Firstly, the email has my name on it so a mistake won't reflect badly on you. Secondly, I proof read stuff I am about to send, to avoid these mistakes staying there. And, finally, do your own job! The company aren't paying you to sit and read what I am typing PISS OFF

 

[jevs]

I have the A23 only 10 feet from my office....now that drives you nuts all day, every day.

 

[dazzer6666]

Burger van ?

 

[SussexHoop]

I bet you could HEAR her coming before you caught sight of her.

I had the misfortune many years ago to work with someone you could smell before you caught sight of her. She sat next to me one day in her leggings and baggy white t-shirt, pulled the t-shirt out in front of her and said 'What makes you think I had curry last night.' To this day I can't quite fathom how I kept hold of my breakfast.

 

[looney]

A lot of these stories dont ring true.

"Nice job, nice company but estabilished baskets case"

Well nice companies are pretty damn quick at easing out people with zero social skills. They are shrewd enough to offer you a drink and biccy at interveiw to see if your a slurper or eat with you mouth open. If there is s a habitual basket case near you i bet good money that your company has ****ing loads of them, and possibly you.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Give me fcking STRENGTH.

The annoying woman is SO annoying today, that I'm slowly BOILING inside. I'm close to full mental breakdown.

Anybody seen Michael Douglas in Falling Down? That's me.

 

[spring hall convert]

Give me fcking STRENGTH.

The annoying woman is SO annoying today, that I'm slowly BOILING inside. I'm close to full mental breakdown.

Anybody seen Michael Douglas in Falling Down? That's me.

Go out for a walk, maybe get a burger?

 

[Husty]

I used to work in an office in Brentwood which was staffed by three women..and me. Imagine all of the female tics of constant natter, loud weird diet eating and associated food smells but throw in jealous hatred of each other cocaine abuse and nymphomania and you might be starting to imagine the hell of that job.

Oh, and all the menstrual madness and nasty viscous slander of anyone and everyone AND Essex accents into the bargain.

Sounds like a f*cking utopia to me.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Go out for a walk, maybe get a burger?

That's the problem - usially I take lunch from 12.30 onwards, so I get respite from the annoying freak, just when its all getting too much. However today, I came in late, as I had an errand to run, so I'm stuck here, trapped within earshot.

Bad times.

 

[Dr Q]

The first person I see when I step outside my office door is a f***ing Nigel!!

(overall, he's actually ok, but even so!)

 

[spring hall convert]

That's the problem - usially I take lunch from 12.30 onwards, so I get respite from the annoying freak, just when its all getting too much. However today, I came in late, as I had an errand to run, so I'm stuck here, trapped within earshot.

Bad times.

I was making a cheeky "Falling Down" reference.

I genuinely feel for you though.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I was making a cheeky "Falling Down" reference.

I genuinely feel for you though.

I know

Thanks for your support.

She's now simultaneously talking to herself as she types AND whistling.
Who knew it was even POSSIBLE to talk AND whistle at the same time?

 

[spring hall convert]

I know

Thanks for your support.

She's now simultaneously talking to herself as she types AND whistling.
Who knew it was even POSSIBLE to talk AND whistle at the same time?

Is she is oblivious to the fact that she's annoying or she's been told and doesn't care?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Is she is oblivious to the fact that she's annoying or she's been told and doesn't care?

Entirely oblivious. It would not occur to her at all, that singing to herself, huffing and overly dramatically SIGHING as she reads each e-mail, BUSTLING everywhere to make sure everyone knows she is BUSY, or typing into her phone with keytones switched on, are in the slightest bit annoying to anyone.

And she's not HORRIBLE or anything. She's almost certainly a perfectly nice and decent person. Just massively annoying.

If I, or my boss, who I know shares my view, were ever to suggest politely, that she might like to please, please, please just be QUIET for a minute, she'd probably break down in tears, and I'd feel a right GIT.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

When this thread first went around, I sat in smug amusement at the stories of fat, Weird, Crisp munching, middle aged women safe in the knowledge this was not my world of pain.

After a re-organisation at our gaff, I have transferred into the same boat. On the next row of desks is a very loud, very Brummie woman. She has 7 (SEVEN) pictures of Daniel Craig on her desk and cannot stand silence for more than a second. There is not a topic of conversation which is too mundane for comment which is used to give a very basic opinion beyond which your average 5 year old could argue against.

We had an argument the other day about the canteen at our work. To paint a picture about our canteen, the coffee is served at a physics defying 120 degree temperature, a dog that hadn't eaten for 2 weeks would turn their noses up at the sandwiches and hot meals consist of chips, with a side of chips, served with more chips. I have not eaten in there in over a year preferring the soles of my shoes to any of the slop served up. When I offered some mild criticism, I was rebuked about how hard they all work, how lucky we are to have it and what a wonderful job they do. This is all paraphrased given the entire conversation took about 30 minutes. It transpires that her best friend is one of the ladies in the canteen who stares at me as if I have asked her to split the atom when I ask for 'A bit of cold water in my black coffee'

Hopefully we will go through a redundancy period soon.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

When this thread first went around, I sat in smug amusement at the stories of fat, Weird, Crisp munching, middle aged women safe in the knowledge this was not my world of pain.

After a re-organisation at our gaff, I have transferred into the same boat. .

Karma is a powerful force.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Also, a guy we know as Darth Vadar now sits behind me. This is due to his over loud breathing. A difficult situation as asking someone to 'Stop breathing' isn't really on.

I need a new job.

 

[Jim D]

Go out for a walk, maybe get a burger?

If he was in the USA he could go to 'Guns N Burgers'. That sounds ideal - munch a BigMac while letting go with a Kalashnikov.

 

[spring hall convert]

Entirely oblivious. It would not occur to her at all, that singing to herself, huffing and overly dramatically SIGHING as she reads each e-mail, BUSTLING everywhere to make sure everyone knows she is BUSY, or typing into her phone with keytones switched on, are in the slightest bit annoying to anyone.

And she's not HORRIBLE or anything. She's almost certainly a perfectly nice and decent person. Just massively annoying.

If I, or my boss, who I know shares my view, were ever to suggest politely, that she might like to please, please, please just be QUIET for a minute, she'd probably break down in tears, and I'd feel a right GIT.

I'm pretty sure I said it earlier in the thread "look at me aren't I working hard and aren't I going to demonstrate to you how productive I am" antics are my least favourite thing in the office. STFU and get on with it.

 

[Cian]

I've recently had to intervene (as the person responsible for anything that moves or lights up and is hence electrical and somehow linkable to being "engineering", but actually has nothing to do with my job) in two extremely petty office arguments of the type on this thread

One was someone repeatedly turning the radio speakers down to a whisper level as "I can't think on the phone when they're on, and people the other end can hear them". After phoning her desk phone a few times I found that as the phones have background noise reduction, nobody the other end can hear it. Solved by putting a door code on the room with the PA system she's stopped complaining...

Second one was the constant temperature up-down-up-down cycle; one of them participants in this game managed to re-enable a disabled leaky unit by keypad mashing any controller they could find until they all had 22+ and the sun symbol on them. Cue some damaged equipment, one threatening email about gross negligence and job security and that's stopped too. Office is now a normal temperature and a few of the women wear their jackets inside.

Come to think of it, #2 happened before #1 was finalised, its possible that it was the same person.