Are people 'replying all' asking everyone to 'stop replying all' yet ?
First one just dropped in.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
First one just dropped in.
jonnyrovers
mostly tinpot
sydney
tinky ****in winky
there is a point at which bell cheesery becomes cock womblery and thereafter will become out and out bell endery ...at this point it is so hard to know what to do because bell cheesery seems to be so prevalent these days so god knows about the other two....for fake sake in advance you faking darft kana's.
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
There's normally 2 or 3 days of utter joy on the way.
That seems pretty reasonable to me! I'd love a toaster on my desk.
Postman Pat
Well-known member
And then some random who has been on holiday for a week will come in and the whole cycle starts again.....
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
textbook.
We have a new woman.
She's not actually new - she's our HR Director, who is meant to work at head office in London, but lives really near ours, so has negotiated that she can work from a spare office here a couple of days a week to save the commute.
So far, I've noted that:
1. She is unrealistically cheerful on the phone. Hearing one half of her conversations through her office door, is quite annoying.
2. Having an HR person in the building has meant that Crisps and Noise suddenly have HUNDREDS of HR questions and issues to drone on about, that would simply not have existed, were she not about.
3. Crisps needs to use her mirrors when reversing in our car park. One 'new' car parked where normally there was none = a surprisingly loud bang.
She's not actually new - she's our HR Director, who is meant to work at head office in London, but lives really near ours, so has negotiated that she can work from a spare office here a couple of days a week to save the commute.
So far, I've noted that:
1. She is unrealistically cheerful on the phone. Hearing one half of her conversations through her office door, is quite annoying.
2. Having an HR person in the building has meant that Crisps and Noise suddenly have HUNDREDS of HR questions and issues to drone on about, that would simply not have existed, were she not about.
3. Crisps needs to use her mirrors when reversing in our car park. One 'new' car parked where normally there was none = a surprisingly loud bang.
Thank you. Daily reports please Hans.
Presumably she was too busy eating crisps?
100% she will have been on her phone. She is ALWAYS on her phone.
Templeton Peck
Faceman
I had this brilliance today from a client I'm doing some free-lance work for:
Bellcheese: I've noticed you haven't started submitting any of the live reporting like we've asked, have you started the work yet?
Me: No I e-mailed you Friday telling you I can't start until you send me the right phone.
Bellcheese: You told us you received it last week so you should have started by now.
Me: As I explained on the phone last week and again when I e-mailed you Friday you sent me an iPhone.
Bellcheese: I don't see what the problem is, just install the app from the app store and you can start.
Me: You told me the app only runs on Android phones.
Bellcheese: Does an iPhone not have Android on it, can't you just install Google play on the phone we sent you and get it that way?
Me:No.
Bellcheese: But we're 4 days behind schedule now, can't you just start tomorrow?
Me: Have you sent me an Android phone out special delivery like I asked in the e-mail?
Bellcheese: No, but I can get you an iPad sent out so you'll have it tomorrow, you can just use WiFi, would that help?
I have an Android phone, but the stupid cow won't let me use it as it would breach their "Confidentially Agreement" I signed which states I won't install their software on any personal devices. (They didn't actually send me that for signing, but that's another issue entirely)
Bellcheese: I've noticed you haven't started submitting any of the live reporting like we've asked, have you started the work yet?
Me: No I e-mailed you Friday telling you I can't start until you send me the right phone.
Bellcheese: You told us you received it last week so you should have started by now.
Me: As I explained on the phone last week and again when I e-mailed you Friday you sent me an iPhone.
Bellcheese: I don't see what the problem is, just install the app from the app store and you can start.
Me: You told me the app only runs on Android phones.
Bellcheese: Does an iPhone not have Android on it, can't you just install Google play on the phone we sent you and get it that way?
Me:No.
Bellcheese: But we're 4 days behind schedule now, can't you just start tomorrow?
Me: Have you sent me an Android phone out special delivery like I asked in the e-mail?
Bellcheese: No, but I can get you an iPad sent out so you'll have it tomorrow, you can just use WiFi, would that help?
I have an Android phone, but the stupid cow won't let me use it as it would breach their "Confidentially Agreement" I signed which states I won't install their software on any personal devices. (They didn't actually send me that for signing, but that's another issue entirely)
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
Another bell-cheese (or should that be bell-paneer) customer last night:
cust: we cannot connect to our device
me: I've checked it. your interface is set wrong. If I change it from 10gig to 1gig it comes up.
cust: our technician has changed the cable
me : no. your interface is set wrong. you need to set it to 10gig
cust : kindly send a technician
me : right. I have set it to 1gig. In 2 hours I will set it back to 10gig
<a hour passes>
cust : we can see our device now.
me : I know. I have set it back to 10gig, please modify your settings to get it working correctly.
cust : It has gone down again. kindly set it as it was before
<sets it back to 1gig>
cust : this is still faulty, we can only pass 1gig.
me : AAAAAARRGGGHHHHHHH !!!!
cust: we cannot connect to our device
me: I've checked it. your interface is set wrong. If I change it from 10gig to 1gig it comes up.
cust: our technician has changed the cable
me : no. your interface is set wrong. you need to set it to 10gig
cust : kindly send a technician
me : right. I have set it to 1gig. In 2 hours I will set it back to 10gig
<a hour passes>
cust : we can see our device now.
me : I know. I have set it back to 10gig, please modify your settings to get it working correctly.
cust : It has gone down again. kindly set it as it was before
<sets it back to 1gig>
cust : this is still faulty, we can only pass 1gig.
me : AAAAAARRGGGHHHHHHH !!!!
Oh that's a great effort. Put someone who is utterly CLUELESS about phones in charge of administrating the phones.
Oh that's a great effort. Put someone who is utterly CLUELESS about phones in charge of administrating the phones.
Our Admin lady is also our designated 'super-user' with regard to the computer, admin, storage, filing, etc. It dates from the time when speed-typing ruled the office (she is incredibly fast, and can hold a conversation with you, whilst looking out the window and typing at the same time - which is actually pretty damn impressive). However, she is the least computer savvy of all of us. In fact, she cannot use windows explorer. To open a file in word, she closes down everything on her computer, opens Word, then navigates through the (large) folder tree to the right document. Then she wishes to open a spreadsheet in the same folder (which she can't actually do things like adding formulas into anyway), so she closes the Word document, and Word, opens Excel,and navigates all the way back through the folder tree to the excel file. I have explained to her dozens of times over the years that all she has to do is double click on the file in explorer where she was anyway and it will open the programme, but she just says 'I'm used to it this way'. Drives me potty.
And don't get me started on the time I tried to explain 'copy and paste' rather than print out one document and then type the text into another document.......'because it's just as quick'...
The Andy Naylor Fan Club
Well-known member
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
Oh that's a great effort. Put someone who is utterly CLUELESS about phones in charge of administrating the phones.
Definitely Project Manager material tho
Brighthelmstone
Well-known member
Oi!!
beginning to think us PM's are thought of in same bracket as Estate Agents and Traffic Wardens!
Baldseagull
Well-known member
Oi!!
Not at all, we all acknowledge the need for Estate Agents and Traffic Wardens, even if they are all
