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Bell Cheeses at work



pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
13,224
Behind My Eyes
one of my friends was completing a job application form, there was a space to attach a photo so she stuck a picture of Keith Richards there ..... she didn't get the job
 






Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,799
at home
i once worked in a vanity publishers and i bet hardly anyone has ever worked in a almost totally silent environment. There was no phones allowed in the office apart from two landlines ( before the days of mobiles) and they didn't ring in the office, but they were in the store room next door and there was a secretary who would sit in this storeroom and take calls and relay messages...on average the secretaries would last three weeks and then tell them where to stick their job.

I lasted a year and was thankfully made redundant when we were taken over by another firm of thieves.

the editor in chief was a complete nob who at christmas said we could leave 10 minutes before the end of the day " so we could get to the bus queues early"

they gave out for Christmas presents our owners autobiography, which read like a bell cheese's whose who of complete wankers.
 




















Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
14,745
Cumbria
one of my friends was completing a job application form, there was a space to attach a photo so she stuck a picture of Keith Richards there ..... she didn't get the job

Wouldn't be allowed to ask for a photo now. When I get applications from HR they've had the front page removed, so we're not meant to know names, gender, age and so on - although if someone got A levels at Roedean in 1984 you can have a pretty good guess! However, my profession is quite small, so when we had the applications for the last vacancy, despite all these being removed I could identify quite precisely exactly who we had shortlisted.
 






E

Eric Youngs Contact Lense

Guest
Was informed at management team meeting by the GM that he had been approached by one, un-named member of staff, to ask one of the field-based team to stop bringing lots of snacks (biscuits, donuts etc) into the office ..
"But why? Surely this is a nice thing to do.."
"well yes it is, but I am trying t lose weight, and this just makes it harder as I can't say no."
Once sniggers had stopped around the table , this had been put to the GM as a very serious question and something that he should "deal with"!!
Jeez... the fact that you are over-weight, and so-seriously weak-willed, that the rest of the office cannot enjoy the treats! The fact that you've decided that the New Year is the time to start dieting no doubt having filled your face over Chrsitmas. We should all now have to help you lose weight because you cant be bothered to do it yourself.. of course its not your fault.. it is up to us to sort it for you.. My Response? I bought biscuits in today...
 


blue'n'white

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2005
3,082
2nd runway at Gatwick
Was informed at management team meeting by the GM that he had been approached by one, un-named member of staff, to ask one of the field-based team to stop bringing lots of snacks (biscuits, donuts etc) into the office ..
"But why? Surely this is a nice thing to do.."
"well yes it is, but I am trying t lose weight, and this just makes it harder as I can't say no."
Once sniggers had stopped around the table , this had been put to the GM as a very serious question and something that he should "deal with"!!
Jeez... the fact that you are over-weight, and so-seriously weak-willed, that the rest of the office cannot enjoy the treats! The fact that you've decided that the New Year is the time to start dieting no doubt having filled your face over Chrsitmas. We should all now have to help you lose weight because you cant be bothered to do it yourself.. of course its not your fault.. it is up to us to sort it for you.. My Response? I bought biscuits in today...

I hope you offered them around too !!!
 














Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,702
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Tremendous bell cheesery all round from my wife's colleagues today. We both work from home on Fridays so I got to see / hear this being played out in front of me.

She works for a charity administrating things that you need to initially book over the internet via their site. Because it's a charity their actual admin software is pretty poor and so is the website itself. New senior managers have recently started and have vowed to upgrade both. For this they have employed some consultants.

The fun started this morning about 11 when the Mrs called me in to where she was working to look at something. "I've just had a panicky message on my IM from X" she said. I looked. It said "OMG I THINK WE'VE BEEN HACKED. WE'VE BEEN HACKED. LOOK AT (webpage)".

My wife showed me said page which consisted of a list of 20 more or less identical web enquiries for a Mr T Ester with Address Line 1 equal to 1 Test Street, Then the second one was '2 Test Street" and so on.

"I think your consultants are testing the website live" I replied.

Cue her picking up the phone and having a hysterical conversation with at least three other work from home mummies who still believed they were in the middle of a DNS attack.

"Are you sure?" she then said to me.

"Fairly" I replied. "Why not get your boss to contact the consultancy."

It turned out they had been testing the website live.

"Have you not got a UAT environment or a sandbox?" I asked quietly.

Cut another round of hysterical IMs and phone calls.

It turns out they do have a sandbox, the URL to which had been given to the consultants last week........
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
56,084
Burgess Hill
Tremendous bell cheesery all round from my wife's colleagues today. We both work from home on Fridays so I got to see / hear this being played out in front of me.

She works for a charity administrating things that you need to initially book over the internet via their site. Because it's a charity their actual admin software is pretty poor and so is the website itself. New senior managers have recently started and have vowed to upgrade both. For this they have employed some consultants.

The fun started this morning about 11 when the Mrs called me in to where she was working to look at something. "I've just had a panicky message on my IM from X" she said. I looked. It said "OMG I THINK WE'VE BEEN HACKED. WE'VE BEEN HACKED. LOOK AT (webpage)".

My wife showed me said page which consisted of a list of 20 more or less identical web enquiries for a Mr T Ester with Address Line 1 equal to 1 Test Street, Then the second one was '2 Test Street" and so on.

"I think your consultants are testing the website live" I replied.

Cue her picking up the phone and having a hysterical conversation with at least three other work from home mummies who still believed they were in the middle of a DNS attack.

"Are you sure?" she then said to me.

"Fairly" I replied. "Why not get your boss to contact the consultancy."

It turned out they had been testing the website live.

"Have you not got a UAT environment or a sandbox?" I asked quietly.

Cut another round of hysterical IMs and phone calls.

It turns out they do have a sandbox, the URL to which had been given to the consultants last week........

“Both work from home on Fridays”

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