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Bell Cheeses at work



Bigtomfu

New member
Jul 25, 2003
4,416
Harrow
At least 8/10 on the BC-ogram........probably mostly from organisations they pay to be members of.......and pay £10k per table to attend the ‘awards dinner’ perhaps?

But wait that would be against our stringent ABC rules right?! The very same rules that make it nye on impossible to get my invitation to watch us play Swansea away signed off for fear of being under the thumb to my ex client....
 










Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,341
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Whats happened to all the bellcheesery ?? :down:

Good point.

Luckily I've just been passed a cv for a position we have open. The woman looks severely under qualified but we have a covering form in which you have to give a reason for leaving your old job. This one said

"Having organised the office Secret Santa for many years I was deliberately snubbed this year. It's clear I'm no longer welcome as my Santa made himself obvious to me but hadn't bothered with so much as a box of mint flavoured Matchmakers. The final straw came last night when I came in for my shift to find that someone had left something that buzzed in the middle of the office, wrapped to make it look like the gift I was so cruelly denied.

In short no one likes me, no one appreciates me and I'm being harassed by a small, buzzing toy"


:jester:
 




Papa Lazarou

Living in a De Zerbi wonderland
Jul 7, 2003
19,360
Worthing
Good point.

Luckily I've just been passed a cv for a position we have open. The woman looks severely under qualified but we have a covering form in which you have to give a reason for leaving your old job. This one said

"Having organised the office Secret Santa for many years I was deliberately snubbed this year. It's clear I'm no longer welcome as my Santa made himself obvious to me but hadn't bothered with so much as a box of mint flavoured Matchmakers. The final straw came last night when I came in for my shift to find that someone had left something that buzzed in the middle of the office, wrapped to make it look like the gift I was so cruelly denied.

In short no one likes me, no one appreciates me and I'm being harassed by a small, buzzing toy"


:jester:

But is she fit?
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,405
Location Location
Good point.

Luckily I've just been passed a cv for a position we have open. The woman looks severely under qualified but we have a covering form in which you have to give a reason for leaving your old job. This one said

"Having organised the office Secret Santa for many years I was deliberately snubbed this year. It's clear I'm no longer welcome as my Santa made himself obvious to me but hadn't bothered with so much as a box of mint flavoured Matchmakers. The final straw came last night when I came in for my shift to find that someone had left something that buzzed in the middle of the office, wrapped to make it look like the gift I was so cruelly denied.

In short no one likes me, no one appreciates me and I'm being harassed by a small, buzzing toy"


:jester:

:lolol:

Please take her on. PLEASE.
 






Igzilla

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2012
1,708
Worthing
Good point.

Luckily I've just been passed a cv for a position we have open. The woman looks severely under qualified but we have a covering form in which you have to give a reason for leaving your old job. This one said

"Having organised the office Secret Santa for many years I was deliberately snubbed this year. It's clear I'm no longer welcome as my Santa made himself obvious to me but hadn't bothered with so much as a box of mint flavoured Matchmakers. The final straw came last night when I came in for my shift to find that someone had left something that buzzed in the middle of the office, wrapped to make it look like the gift I was so cruelly denied.

In short no one likes me, no one appreciates me and I'm being harassed by a small, buzzing toy"


:jester:

When Mrs Igzilla worked in retail, she brought home a CV she'd received as she couldn't believe it. The applicant had listed "Sunbaving" (sic) under Hobbies :facepalm:
 


crabface

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2012
1,886
The presents have started being added under the tree for secret santa tomorrow, this appears to be a great excuse for certain members of the office to stop what they are doing every few minutes and go and check if there is a present for them under the tree. One girl seems to be checking every 10 minutes, im pretty sure if it wasnt there after lunch its not going to suddenly appear out of thin air this afternoon.
 






happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
8,171
Eastbourne
When Mrs Igzilla worked in retail, she brought home a CV she'd received as she couldn't believe it. The applicant had listed "Sunbaving" (sic) under Hobbies :facepalm:

A mate of mine had to do a paper sift and he brought a CV to the pub to show me; The applicant had listed his various jobs, his academic qualifications and his criminal convictions.
 


Vankleek Hill Seagull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
8,276
Vankleek Hill, actually....
That's pretty much the idea.

There were upsides however. Though the hours were very long I never worked a weekend. The pay was fantastic and so was the food and my apartment. And when we did get away a bit earlier the local karaoke joint offered all you could drink hours for a fiver down. @Toronto Seagull and I used to order pints of gin and tonic. The locals can't drink - we could.

Ah, those were the days. 3 to 4 hours of karaoke, pints of G&T, various alcoholic beverages imbibed at other drinking establishments and then getting the first subway home on the Saturday morning (6am-ish), is it any wonder why we didn't work weekends. :thumbsup:
 










Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo

I believe in Joe Hendry
Oct 4, 2003
12,064
When Mrs Igzilla worked in retail, she brought home a CV she'd received as she couldn't believe it. The applicant had listed "Sunbaving" (sic) under Hobbies :facepalm:

When I left my previous job back in October I was helping to review applications for my potential replacement. One person had listed one their key-skills as play lists. This was for a fairly senior IT infrastructure role, they didn't get invited in for an interview. I had visions of that I.T Crowd scene when Jen is appointed Head of IT.
 


spring hall convert

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2009
9,608
Brighton
Sake......bet the boss is choosing the station too. Something with ‘happy tunes to keep you all in the Christmas spirit’ perhaps ?

There's the usual no one being happy so we've flitted between R1, R2 & Heart.

I've got my headphones in. It gives me a convenient excuse to be even more anonymous than I usually am to be honest.
 




BNthree

Plastic JCL
Sep 14, 2016
11,452
WeHo
When Mrs Igzilla worked in retail, she brought home a CV she'd received as she couldn't believe it. The applicant had listed "Sunbaving" (sic) under Hobbies :facepalm:

Not a CV but once had an office temp that didn't know the difference between internal and external mail (or the meanings of the word internal or external).

Also in a different job once had an apprentice that thought there were male & female cows and male & female bulls. They said one day "I've learnt the maddest things; cows and bulls are the same thing" and then went on to explain how cows were female and bulls were male as if this would be new to us.
 


happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
8,171
Eastbourne

That reminds me of a former workplace where we had a couple of pool tables; the senior manager, mentioned a few posts back as the bloke who stole Christmas once issued an edict that, due to the cost of replacing beverage damaged keyboards (of the 150 people working under him in various buildings across Sussex/Hampshire, THREE keyboards had had to be replaced replaced in a single year, costing the business about £30) , no-one was to eat/drink at their desks. If you wanted a drink you had to go upstairs to the restaurant and drink it there.
So I did. 3 or 4 times a day for 10 minutes. As did about 40 other people (pretty much everyone in that building who worked for him). A conservative estimate would be 20 man hours lost to tea breaks every day in our building alone.
Mind you, we saved £30 on keyboards so every cloud...
 


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