With you on this, one of my pet hates. My dept issues a lor if reports which then few stored as pdfs, so calling them finalreport.pdf really isn't very helpful.......
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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
Whitechapel
Famous Last Words
Some brilliant examples of SUBLIME management at my place of work recently.
- Any leftover holiday as of 31/12/16 will be lost and you will not be paid anything for it. Bosses decided to announce this on Monday, along with a chart of who has holiday left and how much. They also decided that due to the Christmas rush, nobody can have any time off between the 16th and 28th. The blitheringly obvious has happened. Out of the 8 people who dispatch packed orders, FIVE are off tomorrow. This week is arguably our busiest week of the year too. Genius.
- If you have time off sick at our workplace then you have to fill in a form when you get back. These forms are supposed to be private and confidential for obvious reasons... So a shift leader leaving one of these sheets in full view of everybody wasn't the smartest move, especially as it shows that one of the young women who works there is pregnant. A fact she has yet to mention to anybody. There are many ways the news of your pregnancy can break, a co-college you've spoke to twice blurting it out in front of everyone probably isn't high on the list of how most people want to announce it.
- The highlight of it all though was two of the head honchos calling everybody around for a meeting halfway through the shift a couple of weeks ago. They give us all a history of the company before excitedly announcing that they'd reviewed a sizeable investment. One of the investors spoke to us, told us how lucky we all were to work in a next to minimum wage job, with no transferable skills in a cold dingey understaffed warehouse where 90% of the equipment is broken. Everyone is patiently waiting for news of our impending bonus or pay rise but nope. "That's all, thank you, bye."
Great, just great.
- Any leftover holiday as of 31/12/16 will be lost and you will not be paid anything for it. Bosses decided to announce this on Monday, along with a chart of who has holiday left and how much. They also decided that due to the Christmas rush, nobody can have any time off between the 16th and 28th. The blitheringly obvious has happened. Out of the 8 people who dispatch packed orders, FIVE are off tomorrow. This week is arguably our busiest week of the year too. Genius.
- If you have time off sick at our workplace then you have to fill in a form when you get back. These forms are supposed to be private and confidential for obvious reasons... So a shift leader leaving one of these sheets in full view of everybody wasn't the smartest move, especially as it shows that one of the young women who works there is pregnant. A fact she has yet to mention to anybody. There are many ways the news of your pregnancy can break, a co-college you've spoke to twice blurting it out in front of everyone probably isn't high on the list of how most people want to announce it.
- The highlight of it all though was two of the head honchos calling everybody around for a meeting halfway through the shift a couple of weeks ago. They give us all a history of the company before excitedly announcing that they'd reviewed a sizeable investment. One of the investors spoke to us, told us how lucky we all were to work in a next to minimum wage job, with no transferable skills in a cold dingey understaffed warehouse where 90% of the equipment is broken. Everyone is patiently waiting for news of our impending bonus or pay rise but nope. "That's all, thank you, bye."
Great, just great.
Iggle Piggle
Well-known member
- Sep 3, 2010
- 5,953
- Thread starter
- #2,143
Book1.xls
If you've named and sent a spreadsheet in that name, you should be hung very slowly with piano wire
If you've named and sent a spreadsheet in that name, you should be hung very slowly with piano wire
KingstonSeagull
New member
Wouldn't be Friday without a bit of Bell cheesery news.
So there is a couple of things getting my goat today.
One is the Portuguese guy who sits about three rows from me and SHOUTS at the guy next to him all day about what they are currently doing work wise, not sure if they are just showing off or simply have no idea that they only sit a foot away from each other. Anyway what is annoying me especially about him today is that he on a daily basis thinks that he can do an impeccable rendition of Christian Bale in the "WHERE IS HE!?" scene. Let's just leave it at he can't, it doesn't even sound anything like him to the point that when he does it whoever he is doing it to always ask what he is doing. At which point he explains the scene and the part of the movie and people tend to say oh ok and walk away, he has done it about 7 times today and it is slightly annoying.
On top of that there is a new junior analyst who has started and thinks that he knows everything and speaks as a matter of fact about EVERYTHING, he noticed I had a buffalo bills keyring and decided he knew everything about NFL and started explaining to everyone around me (they weren't involved in the conversation but he wanted to show off) the rules of NFL and the history of it (only about 60% of what he was saying was actually correct) by the end of this conversation I had actually stopped listening and carried on working whilst he lectured all the other people in the office who also didn't care what he had to say.
Have a good weekend!
So there is a couple of things getting my goat today.
One is the Portuguese guy who sits about three rows from me and SHOUTS at the guy next to him all day about what they are currently doing work wise, not sure if they are just showing off or simply have no idea that they only sit a foot away from each other. Anyway what is annoying me especially about him today is that he on a daily basis thinks that he can do an impeccable rendition of Christian Bale in the "WHERE IS HE!?" scene. Let's just leave it at he can't, it doesn't even sound anything like him to the point that when he does it whoever he is doing it to always ask what he is doing. At which point he explains the scene and the part of the movie and people tend to say oh ok and walk away, he has done it about 7 times today and it is slightly annoying.
On top of that there is a new junior analyst who has started and thinks that he knows everything and speaks as a matter of fact about EVERYTHING, he noticed I had a buffalo bills keyring and decided he knew everything about NFL and started explaining to everyone around me (they weren't involved in the conversation but he wanted to show off) the rules of NFL and the history of it (only about 60% of what he was saying was actually correct) by the end of this conversation I had actually stopped listening and carried on working whilst he lectured all the other people in the office who also didn't care what he had to say.
Have a good weekend!
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,636
KingstonSeagull
New member
I am so glad I am moving to a new role in a much smaller office... It is going to go one of two ways...
You know FULL WELL you'll be back on this thread in no time.
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
Distinct and eery lack of bellcheesery in my working life at the moment, so I haven't paid as many visits to this thread as normal.
Many
Many
BrightonCottager
Well-known member
There're are normally several versions of a Local Plan until the final adopted version, so it depends which version you or you client wants. I used to work in a large public sector organisation and there was a logical (if irritating) protocol for naming files which was regarded more in its breach than its observance.
MattBackHome
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 11,873
Afternoon all.
Bloke here has a severe cold - he's been ill since Monday but, in his words: "I forced himself to come in as I don't get any sympathy at home." He's now on the Lemsip.
Two people here have told him to go home as he's evidently contagious but he's staying put.
He has performed the LOUDEST sneeze I have ever heard (there have been so many that people have stopped saying "bless you") and then moaned audibly as he glanced down at his shirt to find some kind of nasal EFFLUENT stuck to it.
Cue a quick wipe with the left hand and he's straight back to tapping the keyboard.
I am therefore excusing myself to go and buy a steam cleaner, some bleach and a boiler suit.
Bloke here has a severe cold - he's been ill since Monday but, in his words: "I forced himself to come in as I don't get any sympathy at home." He's now on the Lemsip.
Two people here have told him to go home as he's evidently contagious but he's staying put.
He has performed the LOUDEST sneeze I have ever heard (there have been so many that people have stopped saying "bless you") and then moaned audibly as he glanced down at his shirt to find some kind of nasal EFFLUENT stuck to it.
Cue a quick wipe with the left hand and he's straight back to tapping the keyboard.
I am therefore excusing myself to go and buy a steam cleaner, some bleach and a boiler suit.
That's great. You'll pick up his cold just in time for Christmas
What are people's views on other languages being spoken in the office? There's a Russian and a Ukrainian on my team who quite often have a conversation with each other in Russian. It irks me slightly for two reasons: firstly, I don't know what they're talking about, for all I know they could be mouthing me off. This also means I can't help out if it's a technical conversation, which it normally is. Secondly, because I don't understand them, the conversation is effectively just irritating background noise. It's never a quiet conversation either, speaking Russian apparently means you have to turn your speech up to 11.
KingstonSeagull
New member
That's great. You'll pick up his cold just in time for Christmas
What are people's views on other languages being spoken in the office? There's a Russian and a Ukrainian on my team who quite often have a conversation with each other in Russian. It irks me slightly for two reasons: firstly, I don't know what they're talking about, for all I know they could be mouthing me off. This also means I can't help out if it's a technical conversation, which it normally is. Secondly, because I don't understand them, the conversation is effectively just irritating background noise. It's never a quiet conversation either, speaking Russian apparently means you have to turn your speech up to 11.
Drives me wild... Had two Dutch people working here last year and they were at it all day despite speaking fluent English. Also sit next to a Chinese girl who SCREAMS down the phone in mandarin... Not just speaking foreign languages, If you're gonna have a domestic over the phone, step outside is my argument.
Whilst we are on annoying people who go elsewhere to shout down the phone I used to work with a guy who would come over to stand next to my desk away from his desk to shout down the phone.... UGH I need to win the EuroMillions already.
KingstonSeagull
New member
That's great. You'll pick up his cold just in time for Christmas
What are people's views on other languages being spoken in the office? There's a Russian and a Ukrainian on my team who quite often have a conversation with each other in Russian. It irks me slightly for two reasons: firstly, I don't know what they're talking about, for all I know they could be mouthing me off. This also means I can't help out if it's a technical conversation, which it normally is. Secondly, because I don't understand them, the conversation is effectively just irritating background noise. It's never a quiet conversation either, speaking Russian apparently means you have to turn your speech up to 11.
Russian along with most eastern European languages to me sounds like they are having a moan all the time. Once asked someone who speaks polish if the people on the train were having a barney and apparently they were having a pleasant conversation but the tone of the argument was loud and like the kind of conversation I would have with my Mrs when I have left my gym kit on the floor in the living room.
Yes, it's not exactly pleasant to listen to. Having a conversation with the Ukrainian guy in English is also a painful experience. His grasp of English isn't great, and he speaks REALLY slowly. This would be fine if he didn't try and turn everything he says into a long, drawn out story. After listening to him for 30 seconds it's very difficult not to just drift off.
KingstonSeagull
New member
Smile and Nod my friend!
Arthritic Toe
Well-known member
That's great. You'll pick up his cold just in time for Christmas
What are people's views on other languages being spoken in the office? There's a Russian and a Ukrainian on my team who quite often have a conversation with each other in Russian. It irks me slightly for two reasons: firstly, I don't know what they're talking about, for all I know they could be mouthing me off. This also means I can't help out if it's a technical conversation, which it normally is. Secondly, because I don't understand them, the conversation is effectively just irritating background noise. It's never a quiet conversation either, speaking Russian apparently means you have to turn your speech up to 11.
This is just paranoia on your part. Did you used to be my boss? Just because you don't understand a conversation doesn't mean its about you.
That's not really my complaint. I'm pretty sure they're not talking about me. It's more the irritation of it.
BHAFC_Pandapops
Citation Needed
- Feb 16, 2011
- 2,844
Latest batch from me.
Xmas do, which has ran like clockwork for the past few years, finally has been cancelled by deputy manager because of financial reasons.*
*Budget wasted on shop fittings that just get thrown away, casuals that never work, more casuals on top of the casuals that don't work, and Extra Holiday Bellcheese has been granted an extra 100 hours holiday for no reason even though she only does 20 hours over three days. You can imagine countless things like this being harmful to any finances.
So in light of that, deputy manager has brought in a sales competition because she feels bad about the party. Over the 12 days of xmas, whoever sells the most X or Y wins a prize.**
**Actually, no. Whoever sells X or Y writes their name on a duplicated receipt and and puts it in a hat. The winner is chosen at random.
Sorry, what? So if I sold 15 X and one of my colleagues sells 5, my colleague can still win.
What kind of sales incentive gives the lowest performer the prize?
Trying to get away from it all. Went to an assessment centre a couple of weeks ago for a reallly awesome job and got to the stage where they say "we'll be in contact to arrange an interview." Three weeks later, I phoned back asking what the deal is with that only for them to say "we sent you a letter and you haven't been in contact", then implying that the vacancy is filled and there's nothing that can be done.
There is no way my luck is this bad.
Xmas do, which has ran like clockwork for the past few years, finally has been cancelled by deputy manager because of financial reasons.*
*Budget wasted on shop fittings that just get thrown away, casuals that never work, more casuals on top of the casuals that don't work, and Extra Holiday Bellcheese has been granted an extra 100 hours holiday for no reason even though she only does 20 hours over three days. You can imagine countless things like this being harmful to any finances.
So in light of that, deputy manager has brought in a sales competition because she feels bad about the party. Over the 12 days of xmas, whoever sells the most X or Y wins a prize.**
**Actually, no. Whoever sells X or Y writes their name on a duplicated receipt and and puts it in a hat. The winner is chosen at random.
Sorry, what? So if I sold 15 X and one of my colleagues sells 5, my colleague can still win.
What kind of sales incentive gives the lowest performer the prize?
Trying to get away from it all. Went to an assessment centre a couple of weeks ago for a reallly awesome job and got to the stage where they say "we'll be in contact to arrange an interview." Three weeks later, I phoned back asking what the deal is with that only for them to say "we sent you a letter and you haven't been in contact", then implying that the vacancy is filled and there's nothing that can be done.
There is no way my luck is this bad.
Arthritic Toe
Well-known member
Fair enough - it was a glib reply. Its a good point about technical conversations and not being able to contribute - I've been there working on an EU project in Brussels