Being in your 40s

[Shy Talk]

Bloody kids! You don't know how lucky you are! (But you did miss the 60's) Retirement, believe it or not, is great, and something to look forward to!

 

[patchamalbion]

I'm 30 in just under 2 months �� can't say I'm that excited....someone tell me it's all going to be ok?..

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I'm 30 in just under 2 months �� can't say I'm that excited....someone tell me it's all going to be ok?..

I was inexplicably quite down about approaching 30, it really got to me. Never really worked out why. Once i got there, it wasn't any different to being 29. Now I'm rapidly approaching the next milestone and I can honestly say it doesn't bother me at all. I'm probably at a better place in life now than I was then. Secure at work, moved into a really nice house last year, wedding next year. Like everyone, there are things I'd like to change or improve, but on the whole I'm happy enough, and genuinely quite looking forward to what forty brings. I can't believe it's been twenty four years since I left school, nor can I quite get my head around how quickly time passes once you get into your thirties. When I was a kid waiting for Christmas, those last few weeks felt like years. Now the months fly by in a heartbeat. The grey hairs are a little harder to hide from, but hey, life is short. I'm not going to worry about it

 

[BadFish]

Enjoy yourself.

This, try not to stress about the stuff that doesn't matter and do the things you want to do (unless you want to do genocide!!)

 

[W.C.]

I was inexplicably quite down about approaching 30, it really got to me. Never really worked out why. Once i got there, it wasn't any different to being 29. Now I'm rapidly approaching the next milestone and I can honestly say it doesn't bother me at all.

Exactly the same as you. Weird isn't it? What I'd give to be 30 again! Or at least, physically 30. Having said that, that was probably the only time in my life I have been a bit chubby.

 

[W.C.]

I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

Feel pretty much the same as you. For me it's the health side of it. I never really worried to much before and my 40th birthday was spent very much like most of my weekends, up and out all night.

Then when I was 42 I got shingles. I have never had an illness that doesn't shift after a week or so with a bit of medicine and rest. I appreciate you can get shingles at any age but it really knocked the stuffing out of me. Fatigue, depression, paranoia, weird physical things. Horrible. 2 years later I think I can say I am over it but I feel half the man I was. My poor brother didn't even get to make it to 35 this year too, so all in all, I've been feeling very mortal indeed.

 

[dannyboy]

I'm 46 and a few years back thought everything was a bit samey . I've got a good life but just fancied a change , an adventure . so we decided to emigrate . hopefully should be moving to new Zealand next month just waiting on our visa application. should hopefully get a yes pretty soon . I'll let you know how that goes !

 

[John Byrnes Mullet]

It sucks being in your 40.s and fair to say its all down hill from now.
I try to keep off the weight and exercise and eat semi healthy.
You look in the mirror and start to see the old man looks developing and the toughest thing for me is you see a lovely looking 20 something girl and you walk along the street who you would have had a chance with back in your day. If your lucky enough for her to look at you she will see some old guy...lol the joys of getting old.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I pass 51 next week, more aches and pains than ever in my life! Too much beer makes my insides ache, a good night out is home by 10pm! Can't chat up the 20 somethings any more, in fact can't even look at them. The front paunch is prevalent.

Seriously, what's not to like?

 

[Garry Nelson's teacher]

I am 42, I gotta admit I could be healthier, a tad overweight mainly due to beer but have given up smoking and starting to clean up a bit. I have a decent job but have probably peaked career wise where I am so need to move on to something new, which at 42 is quite hard, that troubles me. I would say my forties so far had been rather uneventful, me and the wife were enjoying lots of holidays and generally living well, we had accepted that we were probably never going to have kids so was trying hard to find some meaning to life when suddenly after numerous failed Ivf cycles we suddenly found ourselves thrust into the world of parenthood. My amazing little miracle of a daughter was born in June and is now 4 months old. Life now has a completely different feel to it, and when she is 18 I will be 60. Fair to say I'm elated, worried, scared excited, and so many other emotions, the one thing that really has rammed home though is health, I need the energy now more than ever!

I never thought I would become a Dad in my forties, and I can't wait to enjoy all the fun times with my daughter.

A big plus when you get to your forties is that you learn to not tolerate dick heads and time wasters in your life, which means you usually end up with a finite group of decent friends. [emoji106]

Brilliant posting - best of luck to you and yours.

 

[Gwylan]

I am 42, I gotta admit I could be healthier, a tad overweight mainly due to beer but have given up smoking and starting to clean up a bit. I have a decent job but have probably peaked career wise where I am so need to move on to something new, which at 42 is quite hard, that troubles me. I would say my forties so far had been rather uneventful, me and the wife were enjoying lots of holidays and generally living well, we had accepted that we were probably never going to have kids so was trying hard to find some meaning to life when suddenly after numerous failed Ivf cycles we suddenly found ourselves thrust into the world of parenthood. My amazing little miracle of a daughter was born in June and is now 4 months old. Life now has a completely different feel to it, and when she is 18 I will be 60. Fair to say I'm elated, worried, scared excited, and so many other emotions, the one thing that really has rammed home though is health, I need the energy now more than ever!

I never thought I would become a Dad in my forties, and I can't wait to enjoy all the fun times with my daughter.

A big plus when you get to your forties is that you learn to not tolerate dick heads and time wasters in your life, which means you usually end up with a finite group of decent friends. [emoji106]

That's great news for you - enjoy your time with your daughter (and when my son turns 18, I'll be 66 - don't let it stress you out )

 

[Not nick rhodes]

Get a nice watch and a tattoo

Watch yes, Tattoo definitely not, hideous and tacky

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I'm 30 in just under 2 months �� can't say I'm that excited....someone tell me it's all going to be ok?..

It'll be fine. I still do the same stuff (gigs, buying records, (live) football, beers, food, current affairs, travel) as I have always done since I was a teen but with more experience and now with a (lovely) wife. I'm actually proud of the fact I did over 40 gigs last year which is the most I have ever done in a year. I lead an active life and have to keep myself fit but I actually enjoy this. I have also got more confident with age as well. I positively enjoyed my 30s and now enjoy my 40s. You'll be fine.

 

[Triggaaar]

Watch yes, Tattoo definitely not, hideous and tacky

I think they'd suit you.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I was inexplicably quite down about approaching 30, it really got to me. Never really worked out why. Once i got there, it wasn't any different to being 29. Now I'm rapidly approaching the next milestone and I can honestly say it doesn't bother me at all. I'm probably at a better place in life now than I was then. Secure at work, moved into a really nice house last year, wedding next year. Like everyone, there are things I'd like to change or improve, but on the whole I'm happy enough, and genuinely quite looking forward to what forty brings. I can't believe it's been twenty four years since I left school, nor can I quite get my head around how quickly time passes once you get into your thirties. When I was a kid waiting for Christmas, those last few weeks felt like years. Now the months fly by in a heartbeat. The grey hairs are a little harder to hide from, but hey, life is short. I'm not going to worry about it

and the summer holiday seemingly lasted forever.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

I turned 63 in July and can't make up my mind whether to say "Don't Give Up" or "Pull Yourself Together" to most of the people who seem to be feeling sorry for themselves on here.

I have probably been quite lucky, but then again sometimes you make your own luck. I am lucky never to have had any serious illnesses, but have also tried to take care of myself without being fanatical about it. I have been a member of the local gym for a number of years, but don't go often enough, have always been fairly careful about diet, don't drink much but enjoy it when I do - Beer or Wine. We bought a motorhome secondhand about 2 years ago and are trying to work out when we will be able to retire to enjoy it more. Our big failing in life has been never to be careful enough about money, but we gave our girls good holidays and so on and supported them both as much as we could through University.

My wife and I both started going to Slimming World in January - might sound wimpish but it has further changed the way we eat, and we enjoy it. Although I was already reasonably fit, I have lost 2 stone. My resting heart rate is in the low forties.

Our elder daughter and son-in-law are coming to us this weekend, and we will be celebrating our so far only granddaughter's 4th birthday with other family locally.

Yes, things stop working - I have hearing aids in both ears, things ache a bit more than they used to and you have to be more careful about doing things, but if you make some effort to look after yourself, it usually pays dividends.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I turned 40 at the end of July, and hated looking at my birthday cards. Never had that problem turning 30, but didn't like 40. Probably doesn't help that I've lost a couple of friends in their mid-40's recently. Having said that, since my birthday cards were taken down I've hardly thought about being 40, so it was definitely a temporary thing.

A friend of mine told me that the reason a lot of people get down in their 40's is that they worry about their own health, they worry about their aging parents and they worry about their young kids. In your 20's you're invincible, your parents are still relatively young, and you don't have kids. That kinda makes sense to me and my life situation

 

[narly101]

"40 and ****ed" thats the way i look at it

 

[Bozza]

Two weeks ago today I reached a point where I am got closer to 50 than 40. When I think of my age like that, it still feels a bit gobsmacking. Homing in on 50 - how did that happen?

I don't feel 45. I don't think I've aged, mentally, for about 20 years.

I was, and indeed am, determined to get myself into decent physical shape and was making great strides on that, again, until an injury a couple of months ago. If the physio chap is right though, the injury dates back to when I destroyed the ACL in my left knee in my mid-20s. Ironic.

Professionally? Well I don't have a profession any more. I'm not quite sure where the 6 months have gone since I walked out of a job without anything else to do, but I'm slowly putting stuff together that, I hope, means I never have to go to work, in the traditional sense, again. I need to knuckle down though. As has always been the case, I'm distracted incredibly easily and the internet is a great big black hole of temptations.

I'm very lucky that I can walk my son to school every day and pick him up every day. I can take my mountain bike out of the garage (or run, when I can) and be up on the Downs within a few minutes any time I choose. I need to focus on these because "going to work" again, particularly if it involves having to go to London with any sort of frequency, means I won't be able to do these things any more.

And, after around 15 years away in the Somerset wilderness, which included all of my 30s, I'm back in Sussex where I feel I belong.

It's not so bad. A lot of people have far, far worse.

 

[Hotchilidog]

I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

I bloody hope it gets better in your 50's. Whilst I have had some good times in my 40's sadly this decade has been full of a lot of sh*t for me, cannot wait to wave goodbye to it next year.