A personal update from me - depression (update post #141)

[OzMike]

Get some counseling and discuss with like minded groups, it's helping a close relative of mine.

 

[Knotty]

RM-T, one of the things you must not do is stop posting on NSC!

Post updates on your health but, equally importantly,get back to posting about BHA! Embrace what NSC is all about - you'll make comments that others think is drivel and vice versa. Join everyone else in the speculation, rumour and guesswork about new players that happens at this time of year, marvel at the diverse opinions on each player, or the number of pages about BZ returning based on no facts whatsoever!

We all sympathise with your situation but make no mistake, if you post drivel about BHA, you'll be told ...isn't that the fun of NSC? Get back into it mate! It won't solve your problems but, hopefully, it will be a small part of normal, everyday life that helps you back on track.

 

[Aveacarlin']

A friend and colleague passed me a copy of a book based on cognitive therapy called 'Mind Over Mood' and it helped me out massively alongside regular contact with my GP. It's not overnight and it requires dedication. I have just passed my copy to a friends son who also suffers with depression and anxiety. Check it out. Good luck my friend.

 

[ThePompousPaladin]

I do sympathise, it's a terrible disease.
There are treatments and try and remember, you will get better, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[sydney]

Morning all, thank you all so much for the words said so far, really can't describe in words how uplifting it feels reading some of the positivity shown.
I'm going to open up a bit more now so here goes, I was initially diagnosed with depression back in late 2010 and was offered anti-depressants which i was on for a good 6 months (I actually posted a thread about how I was feeling under a new account as was the case back then trying to hide away and pretend things were ok was all I could try and do). Stopped taking these in mid 2011 as mentally I felt a bit better but not exactly normal. I've had type one diabetes since May 2000 and although control was good in the early stages, my poor control and lack of willingness to admit that I actually suffered with it has caused some serious consequences for me. The main one for me that hurts the most and causes a psychological battle in my head everyday is the fact that I am no longer able to have children naturally, at the age of 24 now and 21 when I found out, that is literally so heartbreaking to know and try to understand. Especially when it was one of your key aims in life.

Moving out of the family home aged 21 and in then with the ex made me realise how much I actually miss home life and i felt so useless pretty much as trying to cope on my own two feet was really hard, causing me further psychological damage and thoughts, making me feel like I'm worthless with no hope or positive outcome ahead. Last summer things weren't going greatly so I tried to change that and find some happiness, which I did. Not afraid to admit that I cheated on the then ex with an online friend that I'd know for a few years who we used to talk pretty much everyday. This was the main reason for me moving away from the north and down to Norfolk so the two of us could be closer together, however this meant me now living in a one bed flat alone in the middle of a town where I know or knew nothing. Transition at work didn't go as planned and I found myself in the same old cycle every day. I had no will to do anything and had cut pretty much everyone off except the best friend and the then girlfriend. The thought of living alone and having nothing hit me every night pretty much and there wouldn't be a night go by that when I was sleeping alone, I wouldn't have a little cry before nodding off as feeling so negative and alone.

The last two weeks for me have been very tough, the then current girlfriend who to me seemed very happy, she literally was the only reason for me carrying on as the thought of her drove me on, stated that she was unhappy and didn't want to carry on doing this right now so suggested we just took a little break from each other. This came as a massive shock and a great big punch in the stomach. What happened next only gets worse but i don't want to go too much into that right now as it is still really raw.

Not going to lie, I feel like I am at rock bottom at this current moment in time, feel like there's no reason for anything anymore and that i shouldn't really carry on with the way that I am feeling. Anti-depressants do not seem to work for me so in a way it feels like nothing will

I'll hopefully post an update on here in a couple of days to say what's then going on.

Sorry for the rambling long post

p.m me i fyou like mate...i'll tell you about the shit my brother got himself into , it may help , it may not , the important thing is for you to accept that everybody makes bad decisions , everbody makes mistakes and screws stuff up...... i don't know what to say mate , i don't know you but at 24 you've got basically your whole life in front of you.......you sound very, very sad at the moment but help is out there.
i know it's hard to motivate yourself but the realisation that there are hundreds of others out there in the same boat ( seems like there's a fair few on here)has got to count for something , find a local support group or counseling session....go on

 

[Barham's tash]

Well done for coming on here to post about it.

I've suffered excessively over the last ten years or so I would say and have tried so many different methods and can honestly say that what works for one may never work for another. I for one particularly admire your ability to try to move on only to admit that it hasn't worked and then move back to your parents. That must have been really bloody hard to admit to. Good on you.

For what it's worth i've found solace in counselling, reading, natural supplements and exercise the best combination but whatever you do don't give up. As corny as it sounds we're effectively a surrogate family and it won't be long before we can collectively seek therapy about the Albion!

 

[Bring back Bryan wade!!]

Respect for the balls of steel shown by the thread starter.

Get well soon. I'm sure you will.

Very much this. Wishing you all the best mate, you will get there just don't be afraid to express how you are feeling to friends and loved ones.

 

[Withdean11]

A good freind of mine up in Hyde suffered depression for several years. To the point his girlfriend would fine his sitting in downstairs in the middle of the night with a knife held to his wrist. He was in a very dark place and i know that it is hard for anyone to understand exactly what it is like.

Today, he's made a full recovery leaving his depression as nothing but history.

No matter how dark it gets [MENTION=4313]RM-Taylor[/MENTION], there is a way out and you WILL find it. Best of luck.

 

[StonehamPark]

Morning all, thank you all so much for the words said so far, really can't describe in words how uplifting it feels reading some of the positivity shown.
I'm going to open up a bit more now so here goes, I was initially diagnosed with depression back in late 2010 and was offered anti-depressants which i was on for a good 6 months (I actually posted a thread about how I was feeling under a new account as was the case back then trying to hide away and pretend things were ok was all I could try and do). Stopped taking these in mid 2011 as mentally I felt a bit better but not exactly normal. I've had type one diabetes since May 2000 and although control was good in the early stages, my poor control and lack of willingness to admit that I actually suffered with it has caused some serious consequences for me. The main one for me that hurts the most and causes a psychological battle in my head everyday is the fact that I am no longer able to have children naturally, at the age of 24 now and 21 when I found out, that is literally so heartbreaking to know and try to understand. Especially when it was one of your key aims in life.

Moving out of the family home aged 21 and in then with the ex made me realise how much I actually miss home life and i felt so useless pretty much as trying to cope on my own two feet was really hard, causing me further psychological damage and thoughts, making me feel like I'm worthless with no hope or positive outcome ahead. Last summer things weren't going greatly so I tried to change that and find some happiness, which I did. Not afraid to admit that I cheated on the then ex with an online friend that I'd know for a few years who we used to talk pretty much everyday. This was the main reason for me moving away from the north and down to Norfolk so the two of us could be closer together, however this meant me now living in a one bed flat alone in the middle of a town where I know or knew nothing. Transition at work didn't go as planned and I found myself in the same old cycle every day. I had no will to do anything and had cut pretty much everyone off except the best friend and the then girlfriend. The thought of living alone and having nothing hit me every night pretty much and there wouldn't be a night go by that when I was sleeping alone, I wouldn't have a little cry before nodding off as feeling so negative and alone.

The last two weeks for me have been very tough, the then current girlfriend who to me seemed very happy, she literally was the only reason for me carrying on as the thought of her drove me on, stated that she was unhappy and didn't want to carry on doing this right now so suggested we just took a little break from each other. This came as a massive shock and a great big punch in the stomach. What happened next only gets worse but i don't want to go too much into that right now as it is still really raw.

Not going to lie, I feel like I am at rock bottom at this current moment in time, feel like there's no reason for anything anymore and that i shouldn't really carry on with the way that I am feeling. Anti-depressants do not seem to work for me so in a way it feels like nothing will

I'll hopefully post an update on here in a couple of days to say what's then going on.

Sorry for the rambling long post

You're not rambling and you're certainly not alone.
There's already been a few other posters sharing their experiences.

It's been about 4 years for me since being diagnosed with severe depression.

I don't know what really triggered it but I put it down to my home and family situation when I was younger, combined with a couple of other things. Who really knows.

Doc put my on 150mg Sertraline which messed me up. It made me completely numb, brain zaps and all that rotten stuff. It took all emotion away and just left me zombified.
Meds didn't work for me, clearly, so I weened myself off and very slowly started to get better through intense excersise, football and travelling.
Too little, too late for me though, the ex of 4+ years couldn't deal with my ups and downs any more and this contributed greatly to our break-up. Which knocked me back at least a year of hard work getting better.

6-7 months on from that, I'm almost back to 'normal' and hope to be back to my old self very soon!

Different things work for different people, whether it be meds, excersise, holidays. But TALKING works for everyone.
Keep posting, you're not alone, there's always a helping hand on here.
It looks like you've just been knocked back also, but as cheesy as this sounds (and it really is cheesy), a line that has helped me for the past 4+ years from Batman:

Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick back ourselves up.

You'll get past this, find THE thing that helps you get through the day, even if it's something small.
Write a short story, run 1 mile and try to improve it each week, just find one thing you can focus and improve on.

Keep posting.

 

[sydney]

You're not rambling and you're certainly not alone.
There's already been a few other posters sharing their experiences.

It's been about 4 years for me since being diagnosed with severe depression.

I don't know what really triggered it but I put it down to my home and family situation when I was younger, combined with a couple of other things. Who really knows.

Doc put my on 150mg Sertraline which messed me up. It made me completely numb, brain zaps and all that rotten stuff. It took all emotion away and just left me zombified.
Meds didn't work for me, clearly, so I weened myself off and very slowly started to get better through intense excersise, football and travelling.
Too little, too late for me though, the ex of 4+ years couldn't deal with my ups and downs any more and this contributed greatly to our break-up. Which knocked me back at least a year of hard work getting better.

6-7 months on from that, I'm almost back to 'normal' and hope to be back to my old self very soon!

Different things work for different people, whether it be meds, excersise, holidays. But TALKING works for everyone.
Keep posting, you're not alone, there's always a helping hand on here.
It looks like you've just been knocked back also, but as cheesy as this sounds (and it really is cheesy), a line that has helped me for the past 4+ years from Batman:

Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick back ourselves up.

You'll get past this, find THE thing that helps you get through the day, even if it's something small.
Write a short story, run 1 mile and try to improve it each week, just find one thing you can focus and improve on.

Keep posting.

what he said...!

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Just catching up with this thread, and I can only echo the words of encouragement, sympathy and advice. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom in order to go back up again, but I'm sure you'll get there.

Keep posting on here, asking for help, and just being involved, [MENTION=4313]RM-Taylor[/MENTION]. Talking about it is a good help, as is exercise - I know many people that have been able to think more clearly having taken up sport, running, walking, whatever.

Good luck.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Do you run? Or have you considered running? It can be a useful part of a broader programme in the battle against your depression. We have an excellent and very helpful running community on this site which ranges from absolute beginners to established marathon runners and beyond. You'd be more than welcome. Dip into the thread and/or PM me if you want.

 

[Gritt23]

Hi all, I've been debating today whether or not to post this on here but came to the conclusion in the end that I would.

As some of you may remember I used to post a lot on here a good few years ago, yes mainly dribble and crap, but recently I've been more of a viewer and averaging less than 10 posts per month I'd guess.

one of the main reasons for this is due to my passion for football pretty much being non existent since moving away from the north to try and start a fresh life on my own. Things were okay to start with but I soon came to learn that I couldn't handle being alone as it was driving me insane and I started to pass more of my depressive feelings on to my other half. Things in the past week for me have completely turned my life upside down and made me feel so low and to the point of not wanting to carry on anymore, so currently back up north at the parents. This morning I attempted to take an overdose but my mum found me and managed to stop me a quarter of the way through the amount of tablets that I had infront of me. There's a long road to recovery ahead I know.

yes I know this sounds attention seeking etc. but over the years I've made friends with numerous people on here so wanted to give them an update on how I am. If this thread is not suitable then mods can remove

You've taken a very important step already, and that is to avoid trying to deal with this alone.

You'll get through this, you really will, and it will be so completely worth it, as you have so many wonderful times ahead, yet to be enjoyed.

 

[Withdean11]

Give yourself a goal to work towards - Exercise is always good for that. Something you can really put your mind on.

 

[Megazone]

Give yourself a goal to work towards - Exercise is always good for that. Something you can really put your mind on.

Agreed. Learning an instrument can also be massively beneficial.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I haven't the words or wisdom to bring you lasting cheer, but all I can say is that my wishes for you to be re-injected with a modicum of hope are loud and true.
All I'd add is never to be concerned about the possible labelling of "attention-seeker". I mean, what are any of us saying anything at all for on here? I certainly don't say things to be left alone - even if pretty much all the threads I start fizzle speedily into anonymity.

Hope this thread works as a brief antidote and that you get things off your chest whenever you need to. Ideally that's a little of what we are for each other here beneath the whiffy blather.

 

[Jesus Gul]

All the best RMT.

From a fellow Seagull with Grimsby-links!

 

[papajaff]

RMT, I'm glad you posted on here mate as I am sure everyone is. I don't find this to be attention seeking; what I see is someone who is reaching out to a lot of people through something very common.

Please keep posting on here either telling us how you are or for seeking some more positive thoughts. The fact that this thread is already up to 8 pages should indicate to you that there are some seriously good people pulling for you.

Good luck and remember you are not alone with this.

 

[brakespear]

There isn't always a "why", which makes depression a bugger to understand.

Good on RMT for being open about this, and good luck to him.

Absolutely this.

Best of luck on the journey ahead RMT

 

[Triggaaar]

yes I know this sounds attention seeking etc. but over the years I've made friends with numerous people on here so wanted to give them an update on how I am.

I don't think it's attention seeking, but even if it is, I'm glad you've done it. I can't imagine keeping this to yourself is a good idea.

Of course everyone has their problems, and maybe we don't always want to burden others with our own, but this really is one of those occasions when you should let people know how you feel, and take help from people in any way you can.

Some facts:
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/qas.cfm

I think the important bit to know is that depression can be treated, and you can recover, so never give up.

Good luck, and never worry about sharing your thoughts.