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Fantastic work. Although I do not have a ticket tonight would I be able to come along with you and hold your shoe or your glove or something? Just to help like, during the presentation. I'll buy you a beer. I'll make a donation to the fund. If you want me to like......please.

done that - but now re-checking - I assume you mean the one on here?

Business trip abroad cancelled and now cannot get a ticket. Kept convincing myself for days that I would not mind and it would be ok. Last night it hit me that I just cannot cope with missing this game. I have tried everything - I work for a company that supply both clubs with certain products...

You could always ask HB&B. He's in the know you know. Well I think he is. The problem is that it's very difficult to understand what he's on about. It's tremendously challenging being a pompous, illiterate attention-seeker.

So much talent. So much skill. So much energy and vision. such a tiny tiny brain.

Goodness me - what an interesting yet sad read. That's what happens if you live on your own, masturbate a lot and then one dreary Sunday morning open the door to a chap asking about God - and then invite him in for a cuppa. Bless - what a deluded, silly silly little man

Splutter, Choke, snigger...................

To be frank old fruit I think if this thread is typically what happens when you communicate we're better of living in silence. however it put some perspective around the guff you've been serving up. If you are that desperate to communicate - or just be heard - then it's no surprise you are...

Well done you miserable fly-infested stale piece of fox shit

what? now you've utterly lost me - I am very gullable on this sort of thing so please let me know you are taking the piss before i throw a Rod Hulkl tonight in the dark

a 10,000 strong Tartan army on the razz in Alicante - the fact that we are ahead of the Czech republic actually is quite a good effort. Although that last minute penalty at Hampden the Czech's got will come back to haunt the lads tonight. 8 players in the premiership are in our line-up tonight...

Thanks Easy. Basically a raving himp is an impotent version of a raving hump. For example - I am face to face to someone and can therefore collar them and not let them leave until my raving hump has been dealt with. A raving himp however typically takes place on a phone conversation where you...

I am hopeless with this sort of thing so need some help. Basically our tv will not pick up sky depsite the green light on the box being on and the playstation picking up no problem., we have two flatscreen tv's - one being looked after for friends while they are away so its not the tv with the...

Love these threads. Hi - I name myself come in peace to either say something really offensive or mention something that I have found interesting. I would also like to masturbate while reading replies because it dramatically increases my low self-esteem. Just before I hit refresh, I ensure am...

On being told that a story was 'out there'......Tucker comes up with the epic line: Well, it is out there, it's out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. You know, if I could, I'd punch you into paralysis Sorry - I've just hijacked this thread. I shall stop now.

That is the word. Glorious. Ianucci at his best for me. I actually wanted to refer to someone today in a forecast call as 'as useful as a f***ing marzipan dildo'. that's the one draw back with watching this. You can see yourself using one his immortal phrases and being on your way home viw HR...

I saw one episode and I thought it was the sort of watered down middle-class papp that Henman Hill attendees would lap up. Flag waving, cake-baking closet Nazi's who come across as the epitomy of quintessential middle England who would also start a petition if someone from an ethnic background...

Great example I saw was in Crowborough - a rent a movie and pizza join that offered deals on customers coming in, renting movies and takiong a pizza away. They dont deliver! 400 yards away from Dominos people simply call for a delivery and either download films from Lovefilm or other similar...

Travelling back from Portman Rd yesterday and listening to many supporters walking back through the marina I could not believe what I was hearing. Poyet doesn't know what he's doing, the squad is shit, we're going down etc etc. If people thought that we were on our way to a promotion season...

I honestly dont care - Southampton had not registered on my radar for years other than watching Le Tissier on motd - and for that reason they are not a club that really drive emotions in me one way or another. Adkins was an utter bell-end for what he said last year - but the fact is that they...