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His legs are too stumpy to allow him to get up and down the pitch quickly enough. He's got a lot of work to do to better Jose Luis Chilavert's career goal haul

Wicket in his second over - bowls Foakes

Dan Burn could play at left back for the rest of his career, winning trophies, POTY, England caps etc. People would still regard him as a centre back played out of position

4 Day: Montgomerie Nash Goodwin Adams Wright Prior RMJ Magoffin Kirtley Ahmed Lewry Honorable Mentions/12th Men: Yardy Brown Rana Limited Overs: McCullum Nash Wright Goodwin Smith Carey Weise Rashid Arafat Jofra Kirtley Honorable Mentions/12th Men: Jayawardene Yardy Mo Sami (Yes my first...

Try watching any game with Danny Morrison on comms. You will soon feel the urge to defenestrate either yourself or your tv.

88/5 Kirsty ct Robinson b Briggs 51

4) While the tax man seems to have little appetite to go after the likes of the Barclay Twins, Murdoch, Rothermere, Branson et al, I'm not sure HMRC would be quite so accommodating to a foreign footballer - certainly not to the extent that Messi has been used to in Spain at least.

deftones - You've Seen The Butcher Pungent Stench - Blood, Pus & Gastric Juice

1297551181028503558 :salute:

How about acting your advancing years, then?

Middle 63/5 at Lunch. Claydon and Carson with a couple of quick wickets before the break.

1297492855674605568 Yes, Angus is right. Their are just so many hopefuls falling over themselves, begging, to be given the chance of an audience with the Bielssiah, in the hope the blessed one will lay his holy hand upon them. His sorting bucket overfloweth.

33/2 Maiden Wicket for left arm seamer Will Sheffield - has Holden ct at first slip by Salt

30/4. Wicket 597 for Anderson

#sofarundertheradarwedontevenexist

Well done to the club for taking this veal-y rare chance to stick one in the flank of those northern chumps. A real kick in the shins. That's some real neck they've got. Bet Tony's language was a bit blue when he found out.

I'm sure all will be plain sailing on HMS Good Ship Lollipop for a few days without Career Admiral Boris getting tangled up in the rigging. The trouble usually begins when De Facto Dom decides to go AWOL.

Indeed. Do they think the parent club just plops them on the doorstep like an empty milk bottle to find their own way and fend for themselves? It might be how they do parenting up that way, but it isn't how a grade 1 football academy functions.

Comes to something when some bods on the internet, with photoshop and ten minutes on their hands, consistently come up with designs infinitely better than our kit supplier. (Sadly this one would never see the light of day, as Amex would insist on a blank square around their logo...)

Wonder if Messi has Bielsa on speed-dial - could do with some divine words of wisdom at half time