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Stokes and Buttler on their way out. Surprisingly aggressive from Root.

Maybe Gino Pozzo has copied IEC at Wigan and lumped on his club going down

Palace Liverpool Chelsea Burnley Real Madrid Barcelona Patriots Yorkshire Surrey Yankees

That would be Oldafemi Martins

BT wringing as much out of the Bournemouth Miracle narrative as they can

I wonder how long Ferrari will be prepared to bimble around in the mid-field, before they resume making noises about stepping away from F1...

There's still some MASSIVE clubs down there for Sky to w*** themselves silly over

Customer: Well, what've you got? Server: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and rat; egg bacon and rat; egg bacon sausage and rat; rat bacon sausage and rat; rat egg rat rat bacon and rat; rat sausage rat rat bacon rat tomato and rat... Players, starting to chant: rat...

1270399385248112640 [Insert joke here]

They'll use their loaf, unless there's something fishy going on

Nailed it

They should be given an annual points deduction for inflicting that God-awful supporter's band on the world

BBC text commentator knows what's up:

Comedy defending from Sakho gifts Vardy a goal - Leicester 2-0 up v Palace

Lovely hit

This Greenwood lad is going to be some player

Cracking goal by Martial

Souvenir from a masquerade ball on Epstein Island?

With his roster of mates and associates, I would imagine that Trumplestiltskin will step in to grant executive clemency - should Maxwell survive long enough to need it...