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Roughly translates as I sent Boris a list of questions so he could suitably prepare, if he could be arsed, told my team what I did, one of said team has passed that info upwards, that info has reached someone with political neutrality (in a professonal sense) or institutional integrity, so I had...

Bit of a coincidence, as I too appeared on a jungle-themed gameshow that required a dearth of clothes.

Danger danger, High voltage!

Go on Bolton!

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 1970s.

A thing of beauty. So many memories. To think, Bernie Gallagher once graced that pitch...

It was definitely soft. From the north stand you could see it coming. I thought at that moment Keep away Baleba, just get goal side to block the shot. It was so obvious the Forest player was going to go over if Baleba got near him.

No. No it wasn't. Well, it was because it was given. But, I have never seen anyone fall over in any other sport or walk of life from the type of contact Hudson-Odoi had with Baleba. Only in football would that be deemed sufficient for someone to take a fall. The penalty was 'won'.

Go on Wrexham

Is there a better feeling that taking a good shit (despite the odd looks) whilst filling your tyres with air using other people's credit? God bless Esso.

Quite right. So long as his investment got you into the Premier League....I'm not sure I would be thankful. I would feel more than a little tarnished tbh.

What a wally. It's like giving money away.

Sepultura fronted by Gary Barlow.

Kramer vs Kramer Manchester by the Sea Stop or my Mom Will Shoot (for different reasons)

I may well be wrong, but for me I thought he was our best player tonight. And when moved to midfield he was very good.

I am genuinely sorry to have touched a nerve. I'm pleased you like your new jacket, and I hope you got a good deal on the flight to New York, with enough spare cash to insert in Monster Munch sprinkled g strings.

6. Feeling nothing for the first 45 minutes so complaining to the dealer and taking another, and 15 minutes later being absolutely spangled and dribbling as the double drop hits home with your arms and legs moving randomly while your eyes roll in the back of your head.

'8. Brushing Monster Munch dust off the Barbour jacket you got for a fiver at Oxfam.' I don't know where to begin. What an absolute c#nt.

I would guess at Lanzarote, but having never tasted that particular utopian delicacy, I can't be sure.

Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!