[Misc] Christmas and mental health...the annual thread

pearl · Sunday at 12:54 PM

Cotton Socks said:
My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.

'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.

Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.

I hope you find the replies to your post helpful. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself.

Chicken Run · Sunday at 1:11 PM

Hamilton said:
Bloody hell. If you weren’t depressed before reading this thread you will be after reading the first few pages.

Sorry for those not feeling it. Hope you survive and feel better soon.

I’m feeling great. Looking forward to seeing family and friends.

Mmmm a decent posting rep (which you have) clearly has its privileges, i have a suspicion that if Right Wing Ronnie, Cunning or Cawley Dingo had posted that the lynch mob would be baying for blood and retribution

HangletonGull · Sunday at 1:12 PM

Working untill Xmas eve really effects me I have Asperger’s so it may sound ridiculous but being at work till 1ish Xmas eve I think I’m missing out , I’ve given up at work this week and tomorrow will be hell allready dreading it

portlock seagull · Sunday at 1:12 PM

Cotton Socks said:
My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.

'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.

Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.

Nothing wrong or otherwise here, you feel what you think and you’re grieving so don’t give a second thought and do what you need to. Everyone will be understanding anyway, more than though I’ve learned lots people say nothing, which can hurt at the time, simply because they don’t know what to say.

raymondo · Sunday at 1:18 PM

Cotton Socks said:
My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.

'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.

Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.

Do what needs to be done and look out for your dad and other family as best you can. Tough time of year.
Take care

Diablo · Sunday at 2:56 PM

My mother had celebrated her 90th in the summer of 2023 She went down hill fast soon after and died at home on Christmas day last year.. Everyone thought what a bad day for all.
No.. we were all happy that she had not had to go away from her home. Died peacefully without pain. It did not spoil our Christmas we ( all her children) were pleased for her and toasted the fact that she was reunited with her husband, our Dad. Both remembered with huge amount of love.

portlock seagull · Sunday at 3:02 PM

Diablo said:
My mother had celebrated her 90th in the summer of 2023 She went down hill fast soon after and died at home on Christmas day last year.. Everyone thought what a bad day for all.
No.. we were all happy that she had not had to go away from her home. Died peacefully without pain. It did not spoil our Christmas we ( all her children) were pleased for her and toasted the fact that she was reunited with her husband, our Dad. Both remembered with huge amount of love.

Today is bittersweet in similar respect. My uncle died in early hours after a long illness aged 96.5, and had wanted to go for a long time. He and my surviving aunt suffered enough. A wonderful human being and a life well lived. The greatest Gentleman I ever knew, will miss enormously.

Tom Hark Preston Park · Sunday at 3:27 PM

Don't mind Xmas. Easily enough ignored. Hate New Year tho. Used to always love it. Til the morning of that New Year's Day when me mum called round my bruv's place and found him dead on his couch. I had to call round all of our immediate family, including his kids and ex-wife. They all thought I was calling to wish them a HNY. Instead I reduced them all to tears :down:

Now I don't give a shit about either date

The Wookiee · Sunday at 9:36 PM

It’s a struggle- ups and downs - today was an up but with the up there is always a down

Hamilton · Sunday at 10:25 PM

Chicken Run said:
Mmmm a decent posting rep (which you have) clearly has its privileges, i have a suspicion that if Right Wing Ronnie, Cunning or Cawley Dingo had posted that the lynch mob would be baying for blood and retribution

Fair play. Very poorly posted from me.

Emphasize that I hope those struggling survive it and feel better soon.

PILTDOWN MAN · Sunday at 10:30 PM

Beginning to dislike Christmas and certainly don't celebrate NYE. This is the third year, 6th of Jan, since my wife died in my hands of a heart attack. Possibly why I shouldn't post around this time (see the thread Gruda I started earlier)

The Wookiee · Sunday at 11:13 PM

Had a lovely day today with my son, went to my mums for a Christmas get together with sisters, nieces and nephews - was lovely- but now I’m home on my own - work tomorrow- and spending the festive period on my own - booked a table for one at a local curry house on Xmas Day - I’m going to make the most of it but with a tinge of sadness that I’m not part of a traditional family Christmas Day - someone to wake up with and share the joy of opening presents together- last year was easier as I booked 5 days In Hurghada- still on my own but at least I had the sunshine- yes there are people worse off than me and I’m thankful for the wonderful day I had today - it is what it is - make the most of what you’ve got- stay strong those on there own and those that are having a lovely family time - please check in with those that aren’t so lucky

pearl · Monday at 8:26 AM

The Wookiee said:
Had a lovely day today with my son, went to my mums for a Christmas get together with sisters, nieces and nephews - was lovely- but now I’m home on my own - work tomorrow- and spending the festive period on my own - booked a table for one at a local curry house on Xmas Day - I’m going to make the most of it but with a tinge of sadness that I’m not part of a traditional family Christmas Day - someone to wake up with and share the joy of opening presents together- last year was easier as I booked 5 days In Hurghada- still on my own but at least I had the sunshine- yes there are people worse off than me and I’m thankful for the wonderful day I had today - it is what it is - make the most of what you’ve got- stay strong those on there own and those that are having a lovely family time - please check in with those that aren’t so lucky

Great post. I hope you have a good time at the curry house. Remember you are alive .... enjoy yourself. I probably haven't worded this well. I'm not a writer. Best wishes

Zeberdi · Monday at 3:38 PM

On my way to London for Christmas which is a very welcome break from far too many hospital appts in the past few months. Have Brain scan and numerous neurological tests after New Year as well as other hospital appts , cancer also likely back but won’t know until end of January - until then compartmentalising everything and very very appreciative I have a loving family to spend Christmas with.

We even have an extra guest staying so I’ll get plenty of dog therapy in too.

( As many will know, last year was tough having lost Kipper)

Having spent the last several Christmas’s alone due the ill health, I know it can be very tough so stay strong everyone dealing with that and also dealing with family relationships they find challenging for whatever reason.

That said - The highlight of my Christmas and NY will be Brentford on 27th and Norwich on 11th, tickets for which arrived this morning

Lenny Rider · Monday at 3:51 PM

If anyone on NSC is struggling please ring me, day or night, on 07881661122.

Take care

Harty

Chicken Run · Monday at 3:57 PM

The Wookiee said:
Had a lovely day today with my son, went to my mums for a Christmas get together with sisters, nieces and nephews - was lovely- but now I’m home on my own - work tomorrow- and spending the festive period on my own - booked a table for one at a local curry house on Xmas Day - I’m going to make the most of it but with a tinge of sadness that I’m not part of a traditional family Christmas Day - someone to wake up with and share the joy of opening presents together- last year was easier as I booked 5 days In Hurghada- still on my own but at least I had the sunshine- yes there are people worse off than me and I’m thankful for the wonderful day I had today - it is what it is - make the most of what you’ve got- stay strong those on there own and those that are having a lovely family time - please check in with those that aren’t so lucky

I truly hope you’re able to enjoy your Curry on the 25th

Are you still working in EA?

Bry Nylon · Monday at 4:31 PM

Zeberdi said:
The highlight of my Christmas and NY will be Brentford on 27th

I suspect it won’t be :tantrum:

Have a Merry Christmas @Zeberdi

Badger · Monday at 4:41 PM

I've reached a stage where I enjoy all the build up to Christmas. I like putting up decorations, listening to Christmas music and going to parties and gatherings.

I struggle with Christmas Day itself though. This is the first time I've chosen to stay in Canada, for a few years, instead of visiting family in the UK. I'm going to really miss seeing my family but I'm now in my 40s, live on my own, and don't have kids. I kind of feel like the odd one out.

I do have really good friends here and I won't be spending Christmas Day on my own. It's just not how I thought my life would turn out.

AlbionBro · Monday at 4:55 PM

Hamilton said:
Bloody hell. If you weren’t depressed before reading this thread you will be after reading the first few pages.

Sorry for those not feeling it. Hope you survive and feel better soon.

I’m feeling great. Looking forward to seeing family and friends.

What a thoroughly horrible post, if you're so happy, why not strut on by, without comment?
I would really hope the dark places do not surround you in the near future.
If there is anybody in dark places, I will do all I can help, please never feel alone.

PILTDOWN MAN · Monday at 5:20 PM

AlbionBro said:
What a thoroughly horrible post, if you're so happy, why not strut on by, without comment?
I would really hope the dark places do not surround you in the near future.
If there is anybody in dark places, I will do all I can help, please never feel alone.

Sad thing is you can feel alone in a packed room

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