Insel affe
HellBilly
I actually feel pressured and guilty for not liking Christmas.
I am not a Christian, despise religion and feel aggrieved I have to justify that to my wife and daughter when they ask where there presents are.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
[Misc] Christmas and mental health...the annual thread
- Thread starter Happy Exile
- Start date
I am not a Christian, despise religion and feel aggrieved I have to justify that to my wife and daughter when they ask where there presents are.
jakarta
Well-known member
Not going to be an issue for 2023, as neither of us are fit and well enough to do our usual socialising and Church going.
A quiet few days instead, probably binge watching TV.
A quiet few days instead, probably binge watching TV.
Would it be a nicer experience for you if you didn’t see in-laws etc? My time is far more relaxing, when it’s simply us 4.
Last edited:
jakarta
Well-known member
Shortest Day tomorrow, 2023 can't finish soon enough for me.
I don’t want to wish it away, but evenings drawing out (however slowly) always seems like a milestone. Starting to see daffodils in bloom also lifts the spirits.
- Oct 12, 2022
- 2,784
Really not feeling festive this year. Am looking forward to seeing family, but I can’t muster any spirit of the season, it’s been a slog.
Like others have posted, I’m feeling more excited for the solstice this year than I am about Xmas. I’m proper Scrooge/Grinch (delete according to generation) atm.
Like others have posted, I’m feeling more excited for the solstice this year than I am about Xmas. I’m proper Scrooge/Grinch (delete according to generation) atm.
Insel affe
HellBilly
- Oct 17, 2008
- 15,019
Must admit I choked up.
The link is to a short (1:11) video about mental health visibility featuring two football supporters.
Pogue Mahone
Well-known member
- Apr 30, 2011
- 10,969
Bloody Hell. That is very sobering. There are so many people we only see at the football, and we have no idea of their back story.
Wardy's twin
Well-known member
- Oct 21, 2014
- 8,938
Not just football .... people with mental health don't wear labels and the signs aren't always visible indeed they are usually well concealed by people who are ashamed/scared that others think they are weak etc. I talk about my personal mental struggles , probably to too many people, but in a couple of cases I haver seen eyes light up and acknowledgement that they weren't alone.
- Oct 17, 2008
- 15,019
Everyone okay? Mental health is not just for Christmas.
BrightonCottager
Well-known member
Hi everyone, hope you are all OK.
Happy Solstice - shortest day of the year.
Try and get outside into nature, despite the weather.
If Christmas is a difficult time for you, scroll back for lots of advice, or start here:
Happy Solstice - shortest day of the year.
Try and get outside into nature, despite the weather.
If Christmas is a difficult time for you, scroll back for lots of advice, or start here:
Cotton Socks
Skint Supporter
- Feb 20, 2017
- 2,207
My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.
- Oct 20, 2022
- 7,219
My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.
It’s really difficult to know what to say sometimes to people who have suffered a major bereavement - especially when they are still processing their own feelings as you are. It’s an enormous upheaval to lose a parent - I found when my Dad died, (also just before Christmas) it somehow challenged my very identity - being autistic, I struggled to mourn like the rest of the family, I withdrew and wouldn’t sit with them or show any grief, in fact I went into the garden to have a fag and chill out. That went down like a ton of bricks but we all react to grief in different ways - no way is right or wrong.
You have my heartfelt best wishes while you navigate through this time in your own way without fear of judgment and unti
you can somehow come to terms with life without your Mum. I think the urge to be overly organised and logical is a perfectly normal response to internalised extreme emotions as is numbness - just a way of keeping it together - you’ll allow yourself to feel some of that emotion in your own time and in an amount you can handle when you are good and ready - until then organise away!
Feel free to pm over the Christmas break if you want to vent CS.
If it helps you deal with people saying sorry one of the dictionary definitions for it is:My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.
‘feeling sad or distressed through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.’
I don’t have anything else to add to Zeberdi’s post, which seems like good advice.
Thunder Bolt
Silly old bat
Grief is irrational and anger can be part of it.
Bloody hell. If you weren’t depressed before reading this thread you will be after reading the first few pages.
Sorry for those not feeling it. Hope you survive and feel better soon.
I’m feeling great. Looking forward to seeing family and friends.
Sorry for those not feeling it. Hope you survive and feel better soon.
I’m feeling great. Looking forward to seeing family and friends.
nickbrighton
Well-known member
- Feb 19, 2016
- 2,177
The one thing that I found after my parents and others close to me have died, that may be of some comfort, is that there is no "right" way to grieve, to feel, or thing to do. Just do what you think is right, and feel how you feel. Whether that is organising everything to the nth degree, locking yourself away and crying, or "carrying on as normal". Whatever you do is the correct thing for you.My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.
Remember your Mum as you wish to, in better times, when she was your Mum. At the moment the emptiness can be almost unbearably sad, but with time, that gap is filled with happy memories. Don't feel guilty about anything,
I hope that you find some comfort in family and friends this Christmas, you will have all the very best thoughts of everyone on NSC .
I know everyone is different, but when my Dad passed away two years ago, so many people said to me "so sorry for your loss". Fortunately, he was 91, so my response was always "Thanks, but he a good life and a good age". That helped me - because it turned a very downbeat situation into a very positive one.My Mum died a couple of weeks ago & I'm developing an irrational hatred of people saying 'Sorry,' to the point I'm saying to people that there's no need to apologise as they had nothing to do with her dying. 'Sorry' in my world is what you say when you've hurt or upset someone.
'Loss' is doing my head in as well, I know exactly where she is, in the mortuary. I was really close to my mum & I am in a complete 'Keep Calm & Carry On' mode. It's not intentional but I'm beginning to feel guilty for being calm & organised, when normally I'm known as the most disorganised person of the family.
Someone accidentally made me feel guilty for not wanting to go to the hospital after she'd died. I won't ever regret not going, I'll always remember her as I saw her the week before, at home & annoying her, as Alexa listened to me more than her when it came to the next track.
Went to my Dad's earlier & remembered I hadn't amended my online shop to include everything (anything) for Xmas (I just reserved the slot). I borrowed his laptop & spent 20 mins doing the Xmas shop, that was just rude!
I just have this sudden overwhelming urge to be logical & organise stuff. My Dad has made the appointment to register her death on Xmas Eve. That's going to mess up my routine of last min present wrapping & a glass of Baileys. I did try & hint to my Dad that Xmas Eve is a really shit day to be doing something like that (not that there's a good day).
Now I've written this out, I think I'm probably just completely numb. I shouldn't even be putting this here, as grief is something we will all have to suffer. Even being numb is shit though, as I don't know how to help anyone else.