Worst Report We’ve Ever Seen (Amy Lawrence’s 652 Word School Essay From West Ham)

[Wozza]

I don't think he actually wanted to impress you.

Sticking your nose in again.

Haven't you got letters to write about Jerry Springer: The Opera or something?

(Don't suppose you saw that before complaining either)

 

[Albion Rob]

Yes indeed. Please do. Because a newspaper not giving a single mention to the Albion in a 652 word Albion match report is obviously A Good Thing. Perhaps Andy Naylor and the Sports Argus sub-editors could try to follow this exciting new trend in this week's paper :thud:

Yes, perhaps he will, but then again, Naylor, like Lawrence, is aware of audience.

Who turns to the sports page in the Argus? Albion fans, or at least those who have an interest in the club or in Sussex sport in general.

Who will read Observer match reports? Fans from up and down the country, may of whom have now spent their entire supporrting lives being told the Premiership is the only thing that counts.

Bottom line is, we weren't the story on that day - us taking 5,000 to a big match is hardly news either, let's face it, we have done it so many times - they could have at least given us a mention but they didn't.

It's clear that if we had actually managed to hold out in the second half and force a reply or nick a win, we would have been the story. Unfortunately the game ran away from us in the 49th minute and then Curbs went mental. That's life.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I tend to agree with Albion Rob. I read the report that Sunday - and commented to me wife there was no mention of the Albion - and that is another example of the lack of interest in football outside of the premiership.

I knew Amy Lawrence was sympathetic to the Albions plight from previous stuff she had done. And West Ham were the simply the bigger story that day. That is Life.

 

[Lokki 7]

I'm not looking to pick a fight here but I thought it made us look a bit petulant and ill informed.

Agreed. This thread makes good reading though.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I feel a bit silly now, although I criticised the Observer rather than Amy Lawrence directly.

What really gets my goat is that the Premiership have thousands of words about them, even if the mathces are not of great interest and there is then just a mention of the scoreline or not even that, when it comes to football teams in League One and down. For me, this article was the straw that broke the camels back. Even if our performance didn't merit a mention, I expected us to be mentioned. The third round is not just about the big teams, but a good opportunity to compare and contrast the two sides battling it out. After all, that is what the romance of the FA Cup is all about, surely....?

 

[eastlondonseagull]

I did email and this was her reply. I thought it was worth repeating in full as she has a soft spot for us and knows Dick Knight.


Dear Moya,

Thanks for your email. Either you are not the only one counting word
lengths in the Observer, or there is something going around Brighton fans.
I, too, had to do some counting after not only receiving some emails but
also having a laugh about it with Dick Knight.

Firstly, the report I sent to the Observer was cut, and the subs
scandalously cut the first mention I made of Brighton after 495 words. So
it all looked worse than it was.

Secondly, I thought I would send you my initial report, what is called the
'runner', ie. running copy because you send a chunk at half time and the
intro and ending on the final whistle. As you can see, a Brighton player
made it into the intro, and the club's efforts noted in the second
paragraph. Post match, and after a press conference, we get the chance to
rewrite, which is what you saw in the paper. Here is the runner:

'There are times when Carlos Tevez must wonder where he is and how on earth
his life got to this particular place. Six months ago he was part of an
eyecatching Argentina team at the World Cup finals. Now here he is in a
relentless downpour in East London being shackled by the 37 years and many
kilograms of Guy Butters.

The FA Cup must take some explaining to the likes of Tevez. For 45 minutes
it was the leveller of legend as West Ham were dismal against a Brighton
side big on heart but short on quality.

Then, against all expectation we were served a dash of romance. Mark Noble
grew up round the corner from Upton Park and used to walk to the ground
from his parents house with his boots in a brown paper bag. With his first
senior goal for West Ham he singlehandedly transformed the atmosphere from
depression to celebration.

A West Ham team that has suffered some body blows this season duly
discovered some of the sparkle they have found so elusive this season.
Tevez, sensing the release, began to showboat a bit. Yossi Benayoun awoke
from his slumber.

The FA Cup having symbolised everything that was good about West Ham United
last season, might just kick start them once again.

It spoke volumes for the assorted problems that have afflicted West Ham
this season that they started only three players from their FA Cup final
team of last May.

It was less surprising that Alan Curbishley rejigged his team considerably
after their last outing. That 0-6 beating at Reading had, he said, left
everyone at the club 'hurting'. Six changes included a debut for Luis Boa
Morte, and the ommision, most notably of all, of Nigel Reo-Coker. The
captain had missed only one game this season - and that through suspension
- so it was difficult to avoid the concusion the club did not want him cup
tied to jeopardise a move. There was no place either for Paul Konchesky,
Marlon Harewood and Matthew Etherington.

But if West Ham think they have it bad, a meeting with a club 41 places
below them in English football's order or merit offered a little
perspective. Brighton and Hove Albion have no home of their own, turned up
with a squad largely made up of youth team graduates, and can boast that
their most expensive player, goalkeeper Wayne Henderson, cost £35,000. When
Tommy Fraser, the grandson of Mad Frankie, went off to change shirts after
a gash, he came back with one without a number. The club can ill afford to
carry spares.

Five thousand Seagulls filled their allocation and were in good voice,
which was just as well considering the mood permeating Upton Park. The
flatness, the dimmed confidence, coursing through the West Ham team was
tangible. It was a struggle to lift themselves against even limited
opponents. Brighton were not at full strength themselves.

The visitors carved the first chance, as Alexandre Frutos accellerated into
the danger zone and scooped a cross shot onto the roof of the net.

But West Ham struggled to rouse much invention and drive in response during
a subdued first half. Carlos Tevez produced a rare moment with a dribble
and fierce shot which was diverted away by a Brighton defence that has been
vulnerable of late. Boa Morte took a theatrical tumble in the penalty box
under pressure from Brighton debutant Joe O'Cearuill, but referee Mark
Halsey took no notice whatsoever. When Carlton Cole steered a header over
the crossbar, nobody seemed particaularly surprised.

Looking on the bright side after the Reading debacle, at least West Ham
were still in it by half time.

They desperately needed somebody to step up and take some initiative. But
where would the inspiration come from? It was a local teenager. When Boa
Morte's cross was helped on by Guy Butters to Tevez, the Argentinian teed
up Mark Noble with a neat, cushioned header. At last a cheer for the
Hammers as one of their own drove the ball past Henderson and into the
corner of the net.

Alex Revell came close to an equaliser but couldn't make a clean connection
on a free header. West Ham duly doubled their lead when Cole volleyed in
another decent delivery from Boa Morte from close range.

Revell's shot on the turn prompted a decent save from Roy Carroll as
Brighton attacked with far more conviction in the closing stages.

Nothing to overly trouble West Ham, though, and Hayden Mullins's glancing
header provided some gloss in stoppage time.

Ends.'

Ok, so this is what happened. After the game Curbishley threw his wobbly
and I called my editor to inform him. Sometimes there is space for a
seperate news item on such matters but I was told there was no room and to
kick off my rewrite with it as the game itself was not fabulous.

It is a difficult balancing act to cover two teams equally, especially if
one contributes more to the day's story than the other. On another point,
we try to make Sunday reports more thought provoking than a straight relay
of events in this television age when most people see the goals, and
perhaps some analysis, by morning anyway.

Unfortunately, you can't please everyone in a few hundred words.

Believe me, I wish I had a Brighton story to bang on about from that day.
Not only would I have liked a shock to report on, I also have a soft spot
for the Seagulls goes back to the last days of the Goldstone (RIP). And I
would not have had to answer to Dick asking me how I could possibly write
about Brighton without mentioning the fight for Falmer!

Yours in sport,

Amy

Wow! Fairplay Amy, I take it all back

Subs can be right bastards some time

 

[Tooting Gull]

Wow! Fairplay Amy, I take it all back

Subs can be right bastards some time

They also bale out writers on a daily basis. As someone who does both writing and subbing I've seen it good and bad from both sides, and try and use the experience to be better at both.

You wouldn't believe the sometimes error-strewn and often illiterate state in which copy arrives from so-called big-name writers on occasions, possibly less so on the Observer.

From what Amy says the sub carries the responsibility for there being not a single mention here - but I know how it's happened. She's dumped a whole new story on top of the runner with the Curbs rant, it's way over, and they've had to chop out hundreds of words in a rush from the bottom. It's a skill and an exercise in judgment as well as many other things even with no time, and they've omitted to leave us in there.

There's also another point - writers who write to length asked for by the desk ensure that what they want to stay stays in. That is also a skill. If you go way over, something will have to go and you have less control over what that is.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

They also bale out writers on a daily basis. As someone who does both writing and subbing I've seen it good and bad from both sides, and try and use the experience to be better at both.

You wouldn't believe the sometimes error-strewn and often illiterate state in which copy arrives from so-called big-name writers on occasions, possibly less so on the Observer.

From what Amy says the sub carries the responsibility for there being not a single mention here - but I know how it's happened. She's dumped a whole new story on top of the runner with the Curbs rant, it's way over, and they've had to chop out hundreds of words in a rush from the bottom. It's a skill and an exercise in judgment as well as many other things even with no time, and they've omitted to leave us in there.

There's also another point - writers who write to length asked for by the desk ensure that what they want to stay stays in. That is also a skill. If you go way over, something will have to go and you have less control over what that is.

I agree completely, Tooting, though when you do put copy through that's to length and subs still tinker, making an accurate story less-so, it's bloody annoying, as I'm sure you'll know. I've been livid in the past when some of my copy's been royally buggered by a sub who's got no idea about the subject matter. If you write massively over, then fairplay, something's got to give, but when it's to length, it riles.

Football writers have such a tough job, filing so many different versions of copy throughout the game, and then after the game. I don't think I could do it, frankly. Give me a nice feature any day

 

[Mr Banana]

I find it quite entertaining that the the club programme sees fit to take a pop at Amy Lawrence and The Observer without any consideration for possible sub-editing/right of reply being afforded to either party.

Given the general quality of journalism the Albion produce, and the fact that they see fit to give a local hack who threatened a fanzine with legal action and litters his stories with bias and inaccuracies a column, visions of glass houses and karma hotels spring to mind.

 

[Lokki 7]

I find it quite entertaining that the the club programme sees fit to take a pop at Amy Lawrence and The Observer without any consideration for possible sub-editing/right of reply being afforded to either party.

Given the general quality of journalism the Albion produce, and the fact that they see fit to give a local hack who threatened a fanzine with legal action and litters his stories with bias and inaccuracies a column, visions of glass houses and karma hotels spring to mind.

I blame Mike Ward.

 

[bigc]

I find it quite entertaining that the the club programme sees fit to take a pop at Amy Lawrence and The Observer without any consideration for possible sub-editing/right of reply being afforded to either party.

Given the general quality of journalism the Albion produce, and the fact that they see fit to give a local hack who threatened a fanzine with legal action and litters his stories with bias and inaccuracies a column, visions of glass houses and karma hotels spring to mind.

Exactly.

Surely if the club had a problem it would have been worth THEM emailing The Observer, to which they would have got a totally legitimate response.

Stuff like that makes me think the club has a seriously misguided element to it.

Perhaps they were just looking for us to slag someone else off as opposed to the team?

 

[Albion Rob]

*ahem*

Maybe the Insider could shed some light, if he hasn't already.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I find it quite entertaining that the the club programme sees fit to take a pop at Amy Lawrence and The Observer without any consideration for possible sub-editing/right of reply being afforded to either party.

Disagree. Say you're an Albion fan and the only paper you buy on a Sunday is The Observer. Maybe you have it DELIVERED. Maybe you are shelling out ten Euros or somesuch stupid amount somewhere abroad. You turn to the Sports Pages, flick to the Albion match, and start to read...

Tough titties to Amy Lawrence and The Observer. Maybe there's a sub-editor in there doing neither party any favours, but oh well.

Not good enough for a normally-quality Sunday. Lessons learnt etc.

And anybody who attempts to defend the end product, in this instance, should be ashamed of themselves.

 

[Albion Rob]

Disagree. Say you're an Albion fan and the only paper you buy on a Sunday is The Observer. Maybe you have it DELIVERED. Maybe you are shelling out ten Euros or somesuch stupid amount somewhere abroad. You turn to the Sports Pages, flick to the Albion match, and start to read...

Tough titties to Amy Lawrence and The Observer. Maybe there's a sub-editor in there doing neither party any favours, but oh well.

Not good enough for a normally-quality Sunday. Lessons learnt etc.

And anybody who attempts to defend the end product, in this instance, should be ashamed of themselves.

Are you for real or is this a really complex wind up?

 

[Mr Banana]

Tough titties to Amy Lawrence and The Observer. Maybe there's a sub-editor in there doing neither party any favours, but oh well.

Not good enough for a normally-quality Sunday. Lessons learnt etc.

And anybody who attempts to defend the end product should be ashamed of themselves.

Agreed, but read what the programme said again - it's the personal nature of it that makes it pointless (unless it's tongue-in-cheek, which I guess it could be given Amy's positive relationship with the Albion in the past.)

Very few of the other Sunday papers gave us more than a line or two.

Just find it a little ill-advised of the club to be attacking standards of journalism.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Are you for real or is this a really complex wind up?

Are you defending a six hundred word Albion match report that contains no references to The Albion?

 

[Wozza]

Disagree. Say you're an Albion fan and the only paper you buy on a Sunday is The Observer. Maybe you have it DELIVERED. Maybe you are shelling out ten Euros or somesuch stupid amount somewhere abroad. You turn to the Sports Pages, flick to the Albion match, and start to read...

Yeah, then perhaps you have a right to complain.

But what if you...

DON'T READ THE PAPER

and

Didn't know about the report until you read about it elsewhere, nearly a week after publication

and

Haven't paid to read it

and

Didn't think about complaining until you saw people mention it on an Internet messageboard

Well then you look a bit f***ing stupid complaining.

In my humble opinion, of course.

 

[Albion Rob]

Are you defending a six hundred word Albion match report that contains no references to The Albion?

No, I'm defending a 600-word FA Cup match report that didn't mention the Albion, largely because writing about how a team of League One players holding on grimly until half time before seeing the match effectively put out of their reach in the 49th minute wasn't as good a line about a newly-appointed Premiership manager rounding on the critic of one of his star players.

We need to come to terms with the fact that very few people outside of Sussex actually give a toss about the Albion. While I agree that it wouldn't have hurt to have dropped a line in somewhere (and Amy Lawrence has claimed it was subbed out - hard to prove either way, I suppose) but to go round emailing them and whinging about it really suggests to me that we have lost all perspective of what we are as a football club.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Yeah, then perhaps you have a right to complain.

But what if you...

DON'T READ THE PAPER

and

Didn't know about the report until you read about it elsewhere, nearly a week after publication

and

Haven't paid to read it

and

Didn't think about complaining until you saw people mention it on an Internet messageboard

Well then you look a bit f***ing stupid complaining.

In my humble opinion, of course.

Like I say, I didn't DIRECTLY complain. I just pointed people in the direction of the quote from the match programme. And provided an email address to moan at. Your Closing Ranks defence of the paper is perplexing. Not exactly flying the flag for standards in journalism is it? Huff and puff as much as you like, but the end result is the same: any Albion fan reading that report would have been short-changed in the extreme. Where's the problem? It was printed, you can't un-print it. Even LI has been conspicuous by his silence.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

No, I'm defending a 600-word FA Cup match report that didn't mention the Albion

Then that's just too stupid for words.

No offence.