Wife taking your name?

[Yorkie]

My missus didn't and it's fine by me. It's an outdated tradition. I'm much more bothered about my unborn baby having my surname.

Surely that is the same thing. The baby grows up and looks at it's birth certificate and says why is Mum called Jones and you're called Smith.
It looks much more like a family when the Mum and Dad are Smith and the baby is also Smith (names just taken for example)

 

[Giraffe]

I wouldn't change my name. But then I'm not expecting to have any reason to consider the question!

ahhhh

 

[Skaville]

Surely that is the same thing. The baby grows up and looks at it's birth certificate and says why is Mum called Jones and you're called Smith.
It looks much more like a family when the Mum and Dad are Smith and the baby is also Smith (names just taken for example)

Not really. The baby won't have to change it's name. I'm not really bothered about appearances and I hope my child won't be either. It's parents will be on their birth certificate and those people being together are what matters.

 

[Silvanus]

Quite right Paddy. AND if she didn't, then when your kids get older and open bank accounts everyone would know their mother's maiden name and be able to steal all their money!

That is very true

 

[Yorkie]

Not really. The baby won't have to change it's name. I'm not really bothered about appearances and I hope my child won't be either. It's parents will be on their birth certificate and those people being together are what matters.

But if your wife registers the baby's birth it will be her surname for the child not yours.

 

[Munkfish]

I think you should if you was then to have kids what name would you expect them to take?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

But if your wife registers the baby's birth it will be her surname for the child not yours.

Eh?

In the old days, no surname was specifically registered on a birth certificate. It was even possible to register a birth without a forename.

What was registered was:-

Where and when born
Name (if any)
Sex
Name and surname of father
Name, surname and maiden surname of mother
Occupation of father
Signature, description and residence of informant
When registered
Signature of registrar


These days, the surname of the child is whatever is registered on the certificate.
The questions asked are these:-

Child:-

date and place of birth; if the birth is one of twins, triplets etc, the time of each child's birth will also be needed
sex of the child
the forename(s) and surname in which it is intended that the child will be brought up

Father (if his details are to be entered in the register):-

forename(s) and surname
date and place of birth
occupation at the time of the child's birth or, if not employed at that time, the last occupation

Mother:-

forename(s) and surname
maiden surname if the mother is, or has been, married
date and place of birth
occupation at the time of the child's birth or, if not employed at that time, the last occupation
usual address at the date of the birth
date of marriage, if married to the child's father at the time of the birth
number of previous children by the present husband and by any former husband

 

[Lady Bracknell]

It's easy to get used to. I was one name for 21 years, married and had that name for 24 years and then remarried and have had that name for 14 years now.
A change is as good as a rest.

I'm sorry Yorkie but a change isn't as good as a rest! My ancestors managed to leave Ireland 150 years ago, settle in Australia, move to England and then back to Ireland without ever feeling so bored with their surname that they felt the need to change it! Since I bear the same surname, I see no reason to change the habit of several lifetimes!!

Nobody asks CHAPS to "get used to it" or tell them that any old surname will be a nice change! So why should women be patronised?

 

[Lady Bracknell]

And while we are at it....my children ARE called Jones, as it happens. This has yet to cause them any shame or leave them confused about their identity.

 

[Yorkie]

My comment about a change being as good as a rest was tongue in cheek as you well know.

The fact remains that your surname denotes which family you belong to. It's not about being patronised. You either keep your father's surname (or maybe in your case grandfather's name) or take your husband's name.
To me, when I married, I was entering a new family and therefore took a new name.

I also hate, with a passion, the title of Ms. It is neither fish nor fowl.

 

[Gully]

Roz makes a good point about family history in a surname, but there have been times in history when people have changed their family name to hide their true origin, either for good or bad reason. I am sure that if you look back in the history of this country you would find people who escaped the pogroms of the 30's came to Britain but then anglicised their names to hide their Jewish roots, I can find an instance in my own family where one of my forefathers did something similar. There will of course be those who have changed their surname for more sinister reasons, I once (maybe less than tactfully) in a really candid conversation with a German friend asked if there was anyone in their country today called Hitler...he laughed and said that most people called that had changed their names after the war.

 

[tedebear]

Interesting points raised here - which makes me wonder why it became expected for women TO change their names? and when it began?

Odd thing is - I'm one of three girls - if we all marry and change our names, then our family name on that side dies out I suppose....sad really...

 

[Lord Bracknell]

A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

 

[Les Biehn]

A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

I used to get a bit of a girl at Uni who had the same name as my sister. Was a bit weird.

 

[tinx]

My missus took my name when we married because she wanted to not because I asked her or expected her but she wanted to, My son has the same surname and thats that.

If she had said I don't want to I would have been fine with that although I would have been upset if my son didn't have my surname.

 

[Race]

I also hate, with a passion, the title of Ms. It is neither fish nor fowl.

Me too, I've never quite understood what it's supposed to mean! I'm a Miss and I dont mind that.

I'm the only one in the house without the Butters surname as we are not legally married, it doesnt bother me or them. We are a bit of a mish mash of a family so things arent always straight forward anyway!! I suppose I would take his name if we did get married though, not that it is likely to happen though!

The only time I get called Mrs Butters is when someone rings to try and sell me something I dont want which does me a right favour as I just say "no thanks" before they start on their sales pitch, so it has it benefits not being a Mrs!

 

[Dave the OAP]

Me too, I've never quite understood what it's supposed to mean! I'm a Miss and I dont mind that.

I'm the only one in the house without the Butters surname as we are not legally married, it doesnt bother me or them. We are a bit of a mish mash of a family so things arent always straight forward anyway!! I suppose I would take his name if we did get married though, not that it is likely to happen though!

The only time I get called Mrs Butters is when someone rings to try and sell me something I dont want which does me a right favour as I just say "no thanks" before they start on their sales pitch, so it has it benefits not being a Mrs!

what!!!

How disgusting....all these people living in sin...tsk tsk...you will all burn in hell fire....just see if you dont

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

my husband will have to either take mine or have our names double barreled. i like my last name

Respect. My g/f has a great last name and I'd be up for taking hers if we ever got married, either that or go for double-barrelled. My ex-wife and I weren't traditional, she kept her name and our daughter is double-barrelled.

 

[tedebear]

A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

Men always marry their mothers? There is more truth in that than many may think to be honest....

 

[urbanjim]

I would want to take my girlfriends surname though, "Beer".