What is the Worst bird you have shagged?

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

An ostrich

 

[Thimble Keegan]

There have been quite a few and I would hate to give one particular bird the title of "worst".

Albion & England forever.

Thimble Keegan
Worthing BHA

 

[Lush]

and that was in my house you ****!!!!

AND you bled on the bed and wall of my spare room.

Ahhhhhhh.

Was it your first time?

 

[Spicy2]

Ahhhhhhh.

Was it your first time?

Maybe he just had a nose bleed with the excitement of it all.

 

[chips and gravy]

After a night out at work years ago I ended up with the fattest bird in the department. She was at least 20 stone. Still can't quite work out how it happened 11 years later but it was quite a shock in the morning!

Seeing her at work everyday for months afterwards wasn't easy either...

 

[Cian]

Some English bird that I met the night I firtst discovered the joys of Carlsberg. Considering I was on "the island" (trying to make my original homeplace sound like the prisoner), she was the only halfway decent girl around who wasn't related to me. She was still a munter though.

 

[Muzzman]

Why do you guys hate big birds so much?

 

[pasty]

Back in my RAF days about 20 odd years ago, I went to my best mates girlfriends 21st and woke up next morning in bed with her mum.

 

[Seagullible]

when I was 20 I pulled with a 34 year old minger who we'd been ripping the piss out of earlier that night wondering what tw*t would shag a munter like that! d'oh

 

[magoo]

Said bird from the gay club also asked me to lay on top of her til she couldn't breathe ( ) , said she had a fetish for the Darts player Andy Fordham and said her dad once licked her all over one Sunday morning.

I didn't see much of her after that night.

Must be true, you can't make shit like that up!

 

[Marshy]

I dont do ugly women ! im very particular...they all meet a very high standard !

 

[Seagullible]

I dont do ugly women ! im very particular...they all meet a very high standard !

still a virgin then?

 

[caz99]

cor get a load of you lot anyone would think your all models

 

[Marshy]

still a virgin then?

Married for 3 years with 1 kid.....im pretty confident im not a virgin !

 

[Pavilionaire]

I went for a weekend in Leeds, pulled an 8-pinter, back to hers after the club at 2am, I was on the job and it was hard work. She seemed to like the missionary position but was reluctant to open her legs!

After 5 minutes the 8th pint wore off and I could see her for the horror she was. I rolled off and fell asleep, woke back up again at 5am with morning wood and bollocks like onions, rolled back on and finished the job.

 

[Northstander]

cor get a load of you lot anyone would think your all models

I am a bit a of a looker and known to QUITE a catch!!

 

[caz99]

I am a bit a of a looker and known to QUITE a catch!!

um obviously perhaps you lot keep pulling mingers cos your just mingers yourselves and cant face up to it !!! *joke*

 

[Northstander]

No I would normally get a stunner but if times are hard then I spose I would be happy after about 10 pints to make a ten to two'ers night for her!!

 

[lost in london]

I went for a weekend in Leeds, pulled an 8-pinter, back to hers after the club at 2am, I was on the job and it was hard work. She seemed to like the missionary position but was reluctant to open her legs!

After 5 minutes the 8th pint wore off and I could see her for the horror she was. I rolled off and fell asleep, woke back up again at 5am with morning wood and bollocks like onions, rolled back on and finished the job.

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

Slept with the pub manager of a place I worked at in Coventry while was up there at Uni. She was a bit of a hefty bird, and we hated each other, so I'm not really sure how it happened. Needless to say I didn't stick around at the pub for much longer...