What has cost YOU a sh*g?

[element]

I once went on a first date with a girl to see 'Lost in Translation', a film about unrequited attraction...

The second date involved me cooking dinner for the girl round my place, and it was looking like some horizontallity might be on the cards...

Cue me spouting some old bollocks, along the lines of the film, about it might be better to wait etc.....

She left a little while after this, and a couple of days later I got the, 'Can we just be friends.....' phone call

Any other tales of chivalry gone wrong in NSC-land?

 

[coventrygull]

In my younger years. I went back to a girls flat. We smoked a bit of weed and she fell asleep. Being brought up to respect women. i covered her with a blanket and left. Next day she phoned me and asked me why I didn't wake her up for a shag. She then went on to question my sexuality.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Cue me spouting some old bollocks

we've all been there mate

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Getting married!

 

[Mr Banana]

Yakking up in their beds

Coming out with memorable lines including "yeah, but that dress does make you look like a bit of a tart", "you're almost as fit as Bobby Zamora" and "have you got a squint or are your eyes just like that?"

Squawking/singing old hip-hop lyrics/swearing indiscriminately

Farting

 

[element]

In my younger years. I went back to a girls flat. We smoked a bit of weed and she fell asleep. Being brought up to respect women. i covered her with a blanket and left. Next day she phoned me and asked me why I didn't wake her up for a shag. She then went on to question my sexuality.

Funny you should say that, as I once went on the piss with another young lady and ended up falling asleep in her front room on the settee. She went off to bed and left me without throwing a blanket or something over me, with the result I woke up about 7.30am. freezing my bollocks off, and again no carnal endeavours

 

[element]

Getting married!

What sort of cake diminishes a woman's sex drive?

Wedding Cake

 

[pasty]

True story. A friend of mine once somehow managed to end up back at his flat after a night out with 2, yes 2 lovely young females. Apparently the girls shared a taste for the old peruvian marching powder, and after a while suggested to my mate that all 3 of them went upstairs for some "fun". His famous last words were "I'll be up in a second" after which he fell asleep in his chair, didn't wake up until the next morning, and never saw the 2 girls again.

 

[Nottseagull]

In my younger years. I went back to a girls flat. We smoked a bit of weed and she fell asleep. Being brought up to respect women. i covered her with a blanket and left. Next day she phoned me and asked me why I didn't wake her up for a shag. She then went on to question my sexuality.

And if you had tried it on while she was asleep, it could have become a police matter (well maybe not in those days). Seems she was difficult to satisfy (pun intended).

 

[element]

we've all been there mate

I like to think I had an effect, and the last I heard she was happily shacked up with a WOMAN

 

[bright1064]

True story. A friend of mine once somehow managed to end up back at his flat after a night out with 2, yes 2 lovely young females. Apparently the girls shared a taste for the old peruvian marching powder, and after a while suggested to my mate that all 3 of them went upstairs for some "fun". His famous last words were "I'll be up in a second" after which he fell asleep in his chair, didn't wake up until the next morning, and never saw the 2 girls again.

Ouch!

 

[Taybha]

£30 mon to fri £50 at the weekends

 

[northstandnorth]

anyone?
YouTube - Trainspotting - Spud has a Gruelfest

 

[patchamalbion]

dodgy fish meal+few pints....got back to hers at around 12,felt the stomach go.straight to the bathroom and spewed up in a big way.....i reckon it was more of a lucky escape though as she was from hull and has chucked on the pounds now

 

[coventrygull]

And if you had tried it on while she was asleep, it could have become a police matter (well maybe not in those days). Seems she was difficult to satisfy (pun intended).

I got my revenge by shagging her sister

 

[element]

£30 mon to fri £50 at the weekends

It was 'What has cost you a shag?', rather than, 'What has a shag cost you?...'

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Not really cost me a shag cos I'd already done her but I shagged this bird in the Travelodge in North St last Summer and in the morning I nicked her pink drawers (she went home commando in a skirt and left a snail trail in my car!) and took 'em home. Anyway, these became my plaything for months afterwards, I'd have one sniff and I'd get the horn. Eventually they'd been wanked into SO much they were starched stiff, I mean dude...rock solid - you could hold these things at either side and snap them! So I eventually met up with this Zoe sort and when I told her what I did she cried and said I was an oddball and never answered my calls again.




I'm screwed up ain't I?

 

[coventrygull]

It was 'What has cost you a shag?', rather than, 'What has a shag cost you?...'

Usually a couple of gin a tonics with one girl i knew

 

[skipper734]

£30 mon to fri £50 at the weekends

Not top of the range then.

 

[coventrygull]

Not really cost me a shag cos I'd already done her but I shagged this bird in the Travelodge in North St last Summer and in the morning I nicked her pink drawers (she went home commando in a skirt and left a snail trail in my car!) and took 'em home. Anyway, these became my plaything for months afterwards, I'd have one sniff and I'd get the horn. Eventually they'd been wanked into SO much they were starched stiff, I mean dude...rock solid - you could hold these things at either side and snap them! So I eventually met up with this Zoe sort and when I told her what I did she cried and said I was an oddball and never answered my calls again.




I'm screwed up ain't I?

I think you need some serious help