[Football] Tyrone Mings Quick Out Of The Traps......

[Thunder Bolt]

I sort of get where he is coming from.

In the last few months Mental Health has become a buzz word and is mentioned in almost every interview in News programmes.

I completely sympathise with people who suffer depression and other issues but I suspect there is an element of bandwagon and fashion going on.
Every TV pundit on the Olympics mentions it over and over.


It's beginning to affect my mental health

If the commentators talk about hamstring problems, does it affect the way you walk?
It makes the same sense as your post.

 

[The Clamp]

I had a bit of a problem when my Dad died. We were visiting at Easter 98, and I realised he had serious problems. I went to the doctor with him on the Tuesday & asked the doctor afterwards if it was cancer.
Two weeks on, I was back in Yorkshire, my cousin rang me to say he’d been rushed into hospital. We drove down straightaway, but he hung on, so we returned. 13th May I got a call at 6am to say he’d taken a turn for the worse. I did all the funeral arrangements, telling the bank, council, insurances etc etc.

Three months further on, I was on a training course at work, and something just wouldn’t sink in. My supervisor said something innocuous but it was enough to set me off. I cried solidly for two hours, just not able to stop. I then went home. My GP signed me off work for five weeks in total. He said it was a combination of exhaustion & not giving myself enough time to grieve properly.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you have taken the time to try and grieve?
Funny how a kind or innocuous word can set one off.
After the death of my family I was wondering around Tesco in a daze, I must have looked upset because a dear old lady asked of I was okay and I just burst into tears for the first time since their deaths. I cried for half an hour. . Was quite some time after too. Months.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you have taken the time to try and grieve?
Funny how a kind or innocuous word can set one off.
After the death of my family I was wondering around Tesco in a daze, I must have looked upset because a dear old lady asked of I was okay and I just burst into tears for the first time since their deaths. I cried for half an hour. . Was quite some time after too. Months.

Yes, it was 23 years ago, although I still miss him even now. That time off work gave me time to grieve, and also to talk about my Dad without being maudlin. Moving back down south in 2004 also helped.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

I sort of get where he is coming from.

In the last few months Mental Health has become a buzz word and is mentioned in almost every interview in News programmes.

I completely sympathise with people who suffer depression and other issues but I suspect there is an element of bandwagon and fashion going on.
Every TV pundit on the Olympics mentions it over and over.


It's beginning to affect my mental health

All due respect you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about and your flippant last line sums up your apparent complete ignorance of how MH blights so many lives in spite of claiming to be sympathetic in your post. Thankfully we live in a more enlightened climate where people braver than me are comfortable talking openly about their MH issues, something I have always struggled to do, which is the reason you are hearing it mentioned so much more these days. The issues have always been there, they’ve just been concealed by sufferers due to shame, stigma and complete ignorance and I do understand it, if I wasn’t an MH suffer myself I’d quite possibly struggle to put myself in the shoes of someone who was in the way that you apparently struggle to do.

 

[Brighton & Love]

All due respect you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about and your flippant last line sums up your apparent complete ignorance of how MH blights so many lives in spite of claiming to be sympathetic in your post. Thankfully we live in a more enlightened climate where people braver than me are comfortable talking openly about their MH issues, something I have always struggled to do, which is the reason you are hearing it mentioned so much more these days. The issues have always been there, they’ve just been concealed by sufferers due to shame, stigma and complete ignorance and I do understand it, if I wasn’t an MH suffer myself I’d quite possibly struggle to put myself in the shoes of someone who was in the way that you apparently struggle to do.

Well said

 

[Springal]

I sort of get where he is coming from.

In the last few months Mental Health has become a buzz word and is mentioned in almost every interview in News programmes.

I completely sympathise with people who suffer depression and other issues but I suspect there is an element of bandwagon and fashion going on.
Every TV pundit on the Olympics mentions it over and over.


It's beginning to affect my mental health

It’s not a buzzword, just more accepted. I remember being younger and my parents would talk about a family friend ‘having a breakdown’ or the aunty we never saw in and out of rehab for various issues. At that time it had a negative stigma if you suffered from mental health issues.

It is good that it has been reframed in to something that can be talked about and understood

 

[maltaseagull]

If the commentators talk about hamstring problems, does it affect the way you walk?
It makes the same sense as your post.

Oh dear, how pathetic is your response .

I can see what a deeply caring person you are.

Apologies if my post offended you!

 

[Shooting Star]

People have been incredibly quick to condemn THPP without properly reflecting on how cases like Tyrone Mings effects the way we approach football (and sport) as fans and how the implications for the wider game.

Firstly, people have very short memories. Mings said his mental health plummeted in the lead up to Euro 2020 due to people doubting his inclusion in the squad. The amount of abuse and negativity Mings received on here was enormous. Those wanting to throw stones at THPP should put them down if they were one of those piling on Tyrone ahead of the tournament. You/we are the reason his mental health has been suffering.

There were those arguing in support of Biles because not being mentally at the top of her game could have resulted in serious injury due to the dangerous nature of her sport. Arguably (bar the physical consequences of mental health such as suicide), that same risk arguably doesn’t apply to football.

On a wider note however, there are huge implications for the way we talk about sport if Biles and Mings’ struggles are to be embraced and praised. In the midst of all this, sports pundits and journalists are still signed up to the narrative of:

“The top players deal with these high pressure moments”
“He needs to live up to his price tag” etc etc

If we take physical health, players are praised when they push through extreme adversity. Anyone remember the applause Knocky received after the Sheff Weds Play-off second leg where he posted the picture of his ankle looking battered and bruised, because he took an injection which helped him play through injury? In the NFL former QB Philip Rivers is fondly remembered for playing through a broken foot in a Conference Championship game (NFL equivalent of a semi-final). Pushing through mental adversity is likewise praised. Who else admired Southgate for his stance during ‘96 of putting duty first and taking a penalty, and living with the consequences? Biles pulled out the Olympics, amongst other reasons, to protect her mental health. Well, if protecting mental health is to be lauded in football, no player in their right mind should step up to take a penalty in a tournament shootout, because the implications of missing are simply not worth it. So at the same time as we’re meant to admire Rashford, Saka and Sancho for “having the guts” to take one, we’re also meant to support athletes who pull out of high pressure moments to protect their mental health? There’s the dichotomy.

It should (and rightly so in my opinion) change the way we talk about players on forums, social media and in the press. We can’t claim to be in support of Mings on the one hand and then in a fortnight’s time be highlighting all the rubbish performances of players when the season starts.

I have huge empathy with Mings. Intimate members of my family have struggled with mental health issues, from anxiety to attempted suicide, and I too struggled as a teenager with my mental health. I would despise being an athlete or a celebrity for all of the reasons Mings is struggling. My point is that those wagging the finger at THPP need to first consider the huge implications this all has for the way we view athletes, their “price tag” and the way we talk about them. He’s raised some important points.

 

[The Clamp]

I’m not sure “switch off Twitter and get on with your job” is a particularly important point to raise.

 

[Pavilionaire]

The Mings case presents a problem for football fans generally. He specifically said that he felt mental pressure from 90-95% of football fans who thought he shouldn't be in the England squad. So should we as fans refrain from online polls, phone-ins, chanting to antagonise opposition players, making up names for them etc?

I think Tyrone Mings is not as good as Dunk, White or Webster. It annoys me Southgate keeps picking him and, yes, I think Mings is constantly on the verge of a huge and costly gaffe. For me he is an average Prem CB who has been promoted above his station. That said, I don't wish him ill (or any player for that matter) and I despise those who take to Twitter to pour hatred on players, whatever their race or ability.

However, the whole relationship between fans, media and players needs recalibrating. It was inevitable that Rashford, Saka and Sancho were going to get race hate after their penalty misses. Can you imagine if Mings had been the one to miss a penalty?

 

[Westdene Seagull]

I had a bit of a problem when my Dad died. We were visiting at Easter 98, and I realised he had serious problems. I went to the doctor with him on the Tuesday & asked the doctor afterwards if it was cancer.
Two weeks on, I was back in Yorkshire, my cousin rang me to say he’d been rushed into hospital. We drove down straightaway, but he hung on, so we returned. 13th May I got a call at 6am to say he’d taken a turn for the worse. I did all the funeral arrangements, telling the bank, council, insurances etc etc.

Three months further on, I was on a training course at work, and something just wouldn’t sink in. My supervisor said something innocuous but it was enough to set me off. I cried solidly for two hours, just not able to stop. I then went home. My GP signed me off work for five weeks in total. He said it was a combination of exhaustion & not giving myself enough time to grieve properly.

Thank you for this post TB. An almost identical situation to my own. Only difference being that I can't actually afford to be signed off for 5 weeks - even if I need it.

 

[CheeseRolls]

I don't know if this helps at all or if I will end up exiled on the naughty step with THPP (I bloody hope not)

I get that it is good to talk about Mental Health and the importance of knowing there is someone there to listen and if this message can persuade one person who needs help to ask for help, none of it is wasted. I am a little weary though of listening to amateur mental health advocates lecturing on a subject of which they understand so little. What I would like (and here is the only parallel I would draw with VAR) is less of people analysing other people's mental health problems, empathy on the other hand should be encouraged.

 

[Eeyore]

If you can't stand the heat get out of the fire. No one forced him to become a professional footballer. If he has now decided it's not for him, then go do something with less pressure. It's a free world ... or used to be.

I'm so glad my employer never said that too me. I'm so glad my Dad's employer never said that to him- even in the late 80s.

I'm so sad that some folk thought that this might be the reaction they would get.

Only there are some who did 'get out of the kitchen' which was life itself. And they are no longer around to rescue. One of which, if I recall, was a prominent Albion fans during the 'War Years'.

Think before you post stuff like this. Sometimes it's bet to say nothing.

 

[Seagull58]

People have been incredibly quick to condemn THPP without properly reflecting on how cases like Tyrone Mings effects the way we approach football (and sport) as fans and how the implications for the wider game.

Firstly, people have very short memories. Mings said his mental health plummeted in the lead up to Euro 2020 due to people doubting his inclusion in the squad. The amount of abuse and negativity Mings received on here was enormous. Those wanting to throw stones at THPP should put them down if they were one of those piling on Tyrone ahead of the tournament. You/we are the reason his mental health has been suffering.

There were those arguing in support of Biles because not being mentally at the top of her game could have resulted in serious injury due to the dangerous nature of her sport. Arguably (bar the physical consequences of mental health such as suicide), that same risk arguably doesn’t apply to football.

On a wider note however, there are huge implications for the way we talk about sport if Biles and Mings’ struggles are to be embraced and praised. In the midst of all this, sports pundits and journalists are still signed up to the narrative of:

“The top players deal with these high pressure moments”
“He needs to live up to his price tag” etc etc

If we take physical health, players are praised when they push through extreme adversity. Anyone remember the applause Knocky received after the Sheff Weds Play-off second leg where he posted the picture of his ankle looking battered and bruised, because he took an injection which helped him play through injury? In the NFL former QB Philip Rivers is fondly remembered for playing through a broken foot in a Conference Championship game (NFL equivalent of a semi-final). Pushing through mental adversity is likewise praised. Who else admired Southgate for his stance during ‘96 of putting duty first and taking a penalty, and living with the consequences? Biles pulled out the Olympics, amongst other reasons, to protect her mental health. Well, if protecting mental health is to be lauded in football, no player in their right mind should step up to take a penalty in a tournament shootout, because the implications of missing are simply not worth it. So at the same time as we’re meant to admire Rashford, Saka and Sancho for “having the guts” to take one, we’re also meant to support athletes who pull out of high pressure moments to protect their mental health? There’s the dichotomy.

It should (and rightly so in my opinion) change the way we talk about players on forums, social media and in the press. We can’t claim to be in support of Mings on the one hand and then in a fortnight’s time be highlighting all the rubbish performances of players when the season starts.

I have huge empathy with Mings. Intimate members of my family have struggled with mental health issues, from anxiety to attempted suicide, and I too struggled as a teenager with my mental health. I would despise being an athlete or a celebrity for all of the reasons Mings is struggling. My point is that those wagging the finger at THPP need to first consider the huge implications this all has for the way we view athletes, their “price tag” and the way we talk about them. He’s raised some important points.

Before the Euros the world and his wife said Mings was shit, by international standards, and should not be in the squad. They didn't do it to cause mental health issues. They did it because, in their view, he was shit and should not have been in the squad. You cannot point the finger at all those people and say they are not entitled to express their opinion, even though he has, unfortunately, suffered from some mental health issues as a consequence and, to his great credit, has taken steps to address the issues. I hope the treatment he has been receiving has the right result. A bit of coaching on how to maintain concentration in defensive areas and how to keep the ball in play would probably help also.

 

[The Clamp]

I don't know if this helps at all or if I will end up exiled on the naughty step with THPP (I bloody hope not)

I get that it is good to talk about Mental Health and the importance of knowing there is someone there to listen and if this message can persuade one person who needs help to ask for help, none of it is wasted. I am a little weary though of listening to amateur mental health advocates lecturing on a subject of which they understand so little. What I would like (and here is the only parallel I would draw with VAR) is less of people analysing other people's mental health problems, empathy on the other hand should be encouraged.

I agree. But I have to say, I haven’t seen anyone try to analyse necessarily. Just lots of empathy.

 

[CheeseRolls]

I agree. But I have to say, I haven’t seen anyone try to analyse necessarily. Just lots of empathy.

Sorry - I wasn't suggesting for a moment that anyone on this thread was. More a comment on the wider media coverage,

 

[The Clamp]

Sorry - I wasn't suggesting for a moment that anyone on this thread was. More a comment on the wider media coverage,

Ah gotcha. Yes, I think it’s good people are talking about MH but as you say, amateurs shouldn’t try to analyse. Empathy and understanding are more than enough from most people.

 

[PeterOut]

I have to say I am still truly undecided as to whether the OP just badly / clumsily expresed himself in the original post or not.

What I am very clear about is my total admiration for the many people who have expressed themselves superbly on this thread, either bringing empathy and perspective to the whole topic of mental health, sharing their own experiences, or offering support for those who have shared their difficulties.

Whatever the original intentions, this (overall) shows yet again the brilliance that NSC can be.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I had a bit of a problem when my Dad died. We were visiting at Easter 98, and I realised he had serious problems. I went to the doctor with him on the Tuesday & asked the doctor afterwards if it was cancer.
Two weeks on, I was back in Yorkshire, my cousin rang me to say he’d been rushed into hospital. We drove down straightaway, but he hung on, so we returned. 13th May I got a call at 6am to say he’d taken a turn for the worse. I did all the funeral arrangements, telling the bank, council, insurances etc etc.

Three months further on, I was on a training course at work, and something just wouldn’t sink in. My supervisor said something innocuous but it was enough to set me off. I cried solidly for two hours, just not able to stop. I then went home. My GP signed me off work for five weeks in total. He said it was a combination of exhaustion & not giving myself enough time to grieve properly.

My dad died shortly before Christmas last year. It was non Covid related but owing to Covid restrictions I couldn’t visit him in hospital. Then because of Covid rules we could only have 15 people at his funeral and no wake afterwards to mark his passing, remember the good times and console each other. So after the cremation I just got in my car and drove the 150 mile home on my own.

So I don’t feel like I have mourned him yet. It doesn’t even feel like he’s died. He deserved so much more by way of a funeral. I can’t change any of that now and I’m still waiting for it to hit me, so to speak,

By way of giving him a decent legacy I just try each day to be a better dad myself than perhaps I was previously. If my kids ask to play football with me, or do something or just want some of my time I just say ‘yes’ now where previously I might have said I’m busy or tired. I guess my dad dying like that suddenly made me realise that the most valuable thing we have is time.

Sorry if that sounds a bit shite and sentimental; I’ll revert to my usual throw-away comments now.

 

[razer]

The bile being heaped on THPP, for simply openly expressing what many are probably thinking, is ridiculous.

It is still OK to "believe" that some sports stars are full of sh1t rather than suffering mental health problems, even if they are.