Stupid sayings that are blatantly WRONG...

[Parson Henry]

You will be laughing on the other side of your face?


How does that work? Is it a bit like gurning, when you contort your mouth so as to is guffaw from a sideways angle. And why should you wish to do that anyway?

And whilst I am at it. He who laughs last laughs loudest.

Is there a laugh record keeper who calls time and says OK that is the last laugh? Will this person have a decibel counter to confirm that the very same last laugh was in fact the loudest?

 

[Marc]

"its not over 'til the fat lady sings"

what fat lady? is the ref dawn french in disguise? I THINK NOT! Last tie I went to a footy match there was NO fat lady and the ref was male and fairly slim!

 

[Jesus Gul]

cheap at half the price

 

[Father Jack]

Too many cooks spoil the broth - How does that work then? surely with more cooks working on the broth, it will not only taste better because they will be each adding their own ideas but it will be cooked in half the time as more hands are working on it.

 

[The Large One]

cheap at half the price

But that's blatantly RIGHT. Unfortunately, we have to pay twice the 'half price'.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

But that's blatantly RIGHT. Unfortunately, we have to pay twice the 'half price'.

Not true,If I was to buy a house for 1 million quid,would you consider it cheap at 500 grand?I blooming wouldn't.

 

[Jesus Gul]

OK

cheap at twice the price

Vorsprung Durch Tecknik - blatantly wrong

 

[Withnail]

Love thy neighbour. Won't be doing that again after the wife caught me.

 

[Early Doors]

You must eat 'a square meal'
How many hours have I wasted trying to arrange a roast dinner into a square. Just when you think it's possible, you have to include the potatoes. I have tried roast and boiled, but it's NOT possible. I've looked in supermarkets, in the ready meals and everything, but they DO NOT sell square meals.

And as for eating 'humble pie' don't even get me started.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

You must eat 'a square meal'
How many hours have I wasted trying to arrange a roast dinner into a square. Just when you think it's possible, you have to include the potatoes. I have tried roast and boiled, but it's NOT possible. I've looked in supermarkets, in the ready meals and everything, but they DO NOT sell square meals.

And as for eating 'humble pie' don't even get me started.

mmmmmm,wendys

 

[Albion Rob]

Grrr, the 'cheap at half/twice the price one really winds me up.

The saying is not 'cheap at HALF the price' because obviously it is cheap compared to the full price.

'Cheap at TWICE the price' is the correct saying in that even if you doublesd the price it would still be cheap.

So many people get that wrong, it is ridiculous.

 

[Grendel]

I've never seen anyone surgically extract an eye with a cricket bat... no matter how much they swing it around

Technically, it wasn't extracted, and I certainly wouldn't describe the procedure as surgical, but I have seen someone blinded in one eye after being hit with a cricket bat.

 

[Hadlee]

cheap at half the price

Surely that should be cheap at TWICE the price ?

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Never judge a book by its cover.

Why not? If the cover looks SHIT then im not going to bother reading or buying it.

For instance if it had a picture of two naked lebians all greased up then I shall purchase said book, but on the other hand if its a picture of some twat with glasses or something then they cxan f*** right off.

 

[The Wookiee]

Its too cold to snow!

If thats the case then how the f*** did all that white stuff get to The Artic and places like that??

 

[Ding Dong !]

" One swallow doesn't make a summer "


Does for me, in fact it makes my whole f***ing year !!!!!!

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

Never judge a book by its cover.

Thats blatantly incorrect, if the cover contains the words 'Jeffrey Archer' then I do not read it

 

[Barrel of Fun]

My cat brought in a pigeon that it had attacked but not eaten.

I had it in my hand, in full knowledge that it was better than two in the bush, and the little tyke shat in my hand!

I would have preferred two in the bush.

 

[Artois]

Now Then.

 

[Everest]

We are staying up -

Someone's just walked over my grave - Does that mean I'm not really here and that I'm a ghost? I bloody well think not.