Stupid sayings that are blatantly WRONG...

[whitelion]

'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'...............

When have you had the opportunity to have a bird in your hand? They don't exactly 'grow on trees'. Birds are generally shy creatures that will not be drawn to one's hand. Except of course the seagull who'll snatch whatever you have out of it. Birds.........Stick to the bushes.

 

[tedebear]

Cats have 9 lives...BULLSHIT

If you hit a cat with a car it will die, dead, gone, off with the pixies, away with the kitty litter... its doesn't come back to life.... and its a STUPID thing to say!!

 

[Gazwag]

"Your eyes are bigger than your belly"

A physical impossibliity


"Don't do what I wouldn't do"

What the hell does that mean anyway


A stitch in time saves nine

Maybe we need to teach our defence to stitch

 

[rool]

Plenty more fish in the sea.

How exactly is that going to help me get over being dumped with the consequences that it could be weeks before I get another shag.

And anyway there won't be plenty more fish in the sea all the time the spanish are allowed to catch as much as they like while the rest of europe are only allowed one sardine a day.

 

[aftershavedave]

"too many cocks spoil the broth"

wtf

 

[Dandyman]

"its not over 'til the fat lady sings"

what fat lady? is the ref dawn french in disguise? I THINK NOT! Last tie I went to a footy match there was NO fat lady and the ref was male and fairly slim!

Whereas as soon as the Fatty Taxman sings it is quite definitely all over.

 

[tedebear]

"too many cocks spoil the broth"

wtf

are you dyslexic or just not a great speller

 

[British Bulldog]

'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'...............

I used to think the saying was "one in Kate Bush is worth Ten in the hand!!!!!!"

 

[Barrel of Fun]

'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'...............

When have you had the opportunity to have a bird in your hand? They don't exactly 'grow on trees'. Birds are generally shy creatures that will not be drawn to one's hand. Except of course the seagull who'll snatch whatever you have out of it. Birds.........Stick to the bushes.

I hope you are not ignoring me Whitelion!

My cat brought in a pigeon that it had attacked but not eaten.

I had it in my hand, in full knowledge that it was better than two in the bush, and the little tyke shat in my hand!

I would have preferred two in the bush.

 

[Pevenseagull]

many hands make spoilt broth

too many cooks make light work





or something

 

[Gully]

You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.

I bet you could if you tried hard enough, squirt it into his mouth with a hose (when the ban is lifted) and he is sure to drink a few drops at the least!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Going anywhere nice for your holidays?

No, thought I'd try Croydon this year.

 

[Pevenseagull]

he who laughs last, laughs longest


utter cock


he who laughs last either didn't get the joke and is just trying to fit in or is a div who did get it eventually - either way, in my experience, it will be a brief and unconvincing laugh

tosh

 

[Bakesy]

I'VE JUST LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF...............

don't try it.........it f***ing hurts.

 

[Easy 10]

"There's no use crying over spilt milk"

Maybe not, but at least someone might feel sorry for you and help clear it up. It'll also let you show your softer, more femine side.

 

[Bakesy]

Has anyone actually tried shitting through the eye of a needle?

 

[Bakesy]

We're only 2 players short of being a good team

 

[Gully]

We are looking for a target man who offers us something different to those we already have!

Rubbish, I would settle for a keeper with the longest kick in the game who can catch his opposing number off his line occasionally, now nobody would suspect that approach.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

'That was a near miss'

What a nonsensical saying, it's a 'near hit' surely?

 

[Lady Bracknell]

When was the last time you saw the last straw breaking a camel's back? It's rubbish that is. Because how does the camel know it's the last straw? Only if it asked nicely there's probably another box of them under the bar.