Smacking Children

[CaptainDaveUK]

You choose the least effective punishment. I sort of rest my case on that.

You can't go to the circus at the weekend, kid upset and in a bad mood for the next two days and not talking to parents and isn't actually sorry for what they have done wrong. Sanctions breed resentment not remorse. I rest my case and in any case I'm going to work now. Hope we can the Owls on Saturday, they need to learn a bit of respect, a good thrashing, say 4:0 ought to do it.

 

[Bold Seagull]

You can't go to the circus at the weekend, kid upset and in a bad mood for the next two days and not talking to parents and isn't actually sorry for what they have done wrong. Sanctions breed resentment not remorse. I rest my case and in any case I'm going to work now. Hope we can the Owls on Saturday, they need to learn a bit of respect, a good thrashing, say 4:0 ought to do it.

Enjoy your day. But MotD is not the circus. Missing MotD for the evening would have properly taught you what you did was wrong, that would have hurt. A smack, a 2 min cry taught you that you can take that as a punishment, be naughty and still do what you want. Where is the discipline in that? It sounds like you were probably just a good kid as your own probably are. My point is that your kids could/would be just as effectively disciplined without smacking them.

I always ask, what happens when they can take the smack, grit their teeth, and like you take it for 2mins and off you go on your merry way. Once they take it, it becomes ineffective unless you do it harder as it is only the pain that is the punishment. I really don't get it at all.

 

[chimneys]

But if there ever comes a time when i have to smack Him again then i wont hesitate to do it wherever I am
and I don't give two moneys what anyone else thinks

Strongly suggest you dont take him to Sweden then and feel the need to smack him in public! Its been illegal there since the 60s and you could be charged with ABH!

Married to a Swede, and I had your attitude until I saw different from what we all experienced as kids in the UK. And I must say, your average Swedish teenager is more mature/less aggresive than our English equivalent.

And what if your wife misbehaves?!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Strongly suggest you dont take him to Sweden then and feel the need to smack him in public! Its been illegal there since the 60s and you could be charged with ABH!

Married to a Swede, and I had your attitude until I saw different from what we all experienced as kids in the UK. And I must say, your average Swedish teenager is more mature/less aggresive than our English equivalent.

And what if your wife misbehaves?!

Blah, blah, blah chimneys. Enough of all that. How about some pics of the Swedish wife??

 

[CaptainDaveUK]

Ok, naughty in morning, miss MoD this evening= whole day ruined as kid is upset feeling sorry for themselves all day and may just breed resentment. Smack, had your punishment, move on. Agreed if kid stops crying, stop smacking. I said in an earlier post I barely have to smack now if ever. I start counting to three, get to one and my kids do exactly as they are told. Let's just agree to disagree and cheer on the Albion!?

 

[chimneys]

Blah, blah, blah chimneys. Enough of all that. How about some pics of the Swedish wife??

 

[hans kraay fan club]

View attachment 22788

Phwoar.

She's FIT.

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Many parents swear smacking is the best way to discipline their child but personally I don't agree with it at all. How is using violence on a child the right way to teach them what's wrong and to respect others.

Discuss....

what about giving someone a slap :hammer:

 

[Bold Seagull]

Let's just agree to disagree and cheer on the Albion!?

 

[beorhthelm]

Once they take it, it becomes ineffective unless you do it harder as it is only the pain that is the punishment.

sorry, but you can apply that to removal of treats and privileges. if/when child decides that they can go with out, you have to escalate.

 

[Bold Seagull]

sorry, but you can apply that to removal of treats and privileges. if/when child decides that they can go with out, you have to escalate.

Yes, exactly. I for one am happy to escalate the bike going in the shed for an extra day, or no TV for an extra day rather than whacking them a bit harder which is the only option when using physical punishment.

 

[tedebear]

I've come to the conclusion physical discipline is only for the benefit of the person dishing it out. Makes them feel better about being in a superior place in order to be able to hand out such an ineffectual punishment. Parenting is about patience, tolerance and respect. Not about violence. Violent parenting is lazy parenting imho. Its to easy to snap and lash out, its harder to sit down and have a chat about whatever is going on and more importantly WHY its going on.

I've never hit my son and never will. Likewise he knows its inappropriate to hit others at school.

How can we expect a 5 year old who gets hit at home to know its not appropriate to then hit others at school?

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

don't worry its gone full circle now with the kids HITTING THE PARENTS

 

[Bold Seagull]

I've come to the conclusion physical discipline is only for the benefit of the person dishing it out. Makes them feel better about being in a superior place in order to be able to hand out such an ineffectual punishment. Parenting is about patience, tolerance and respect. Not about violence. Violent parenting is lazy parenting imho. Its to easy to snap and lash out, its harder to sit down and have a chat about whatever is going on and more importantly WHY its going on.

I've never hit my son and never will. Likewise he knows its inappropriate to hit others at school.

How can we expect a 5 year old who gets hit at home to know its not appropriate to then hit others at school?

Totally agree.

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Totally agree.

i was always told not to let others hit you at school and if they did to hit them back , whats wrong with that ?

 

[n1 gull]

Hitting is wrong, plain and simple, hitting a child is even more wrong - simples.

 

[beorhthelm]

Yes, exactly. I for one am happy to escalate the bike going in the shed for an extra day, or no TV for an extra day rather than whacking them a bit harder which is the only option when using physical punishment.

hmmm, kinda missed the point. at what point does that escalation start to have determental effects? stop using the bike? so they have to walk to school (and so do you). does stopping TV mean sending them out of the room when you are watching the news? cant go to football/ballet/violin (which you wanted them to do in the first place)? another week imprisoned in their room... prehaps they dont want to come out of their room anymore, ride their bike, watch TV, go to the park, eat sweets (or anything else).

if you are escalating, the discipline is failing.

 

[Bold Seagull]

hmmm, kinda missed the point. at what point does that escalation start to have determental effects? stop using the bike? so they have to walk to school (and so do you). does stopping TV mean sending them out of the room when you are watching the news? cant go to football/ballet/violin (which you wanted them to do in the first place)? another week imprisoned in their room... prehaps they dont want to come out of their room anymore, ride their bike, watch TV, go to the park, eat sweets (or anything else).

if you are escalating, the discipline is failing.

use you're imagination! have a chat about it, have a points system, a reward system, instead of taking away treats they get points for being good and lose them when bad, once they get 20 points they GET a treat. Jeez, you're suggesting there is no alternative but a slap. Thankfully I've got a lot more creativity when it comes to kids!

 

[macky]

My wife does as she likes no problem Every one is different we all have our different ways
Like i have said i don't get on my high horse and have a go at you because you don't smack yours
As you are the one who has to live with your mistakes As i do mine As parents i would like to think everyone does there best Right or wrong only time will tell As for Sweden i have seen them on mass outside there country where the drink is a bit cheaper And I'm not sure that the know ho to behave ? i lived in Asia for a couple of years where smacking can be carried out by any one of the family And i saw a lot of respect from their young Like i said each to their own What works for some May not for others

 

[macky]

How many posting on this thread have children i wonder ?
their use to be a one eyed copper over whitehawk [way before my time ] But anyway he used to give the young thugs a choice The police station or a punch up with him over the park Everyone i heard speak about him Has nothing but respect for him