turnstiler
Ex North Stand Turnstiler
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection ... but she did.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Short joke thread
- Thread starter cannedheat
- Start date
turnstiler
Ex North Stand Turnstiler
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
driller
my life my word
What do you call an oriental woman who's just got over a bereavement?
Ko Ping Well
Ko Ping Well
driller
my life my word
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "f*** off, you won't bring it back."
The librarian says; "f*** off, you won't bring it back."
driller
my life my word
My girlfriend is a porn star.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out.
Seagull1967
Member
Two tomatoes is a dish, which ones cowboy?
Neither they are both red skins!!
Neither they are both red skins!!
Falkor
Banned
- Jun 3, 2011
- 5,673
Few Liverpool ones
When Ryan Giggs' wife divorces him and gets half of everything, she'll have 6 more Premier League medals than Steven Gerrard....
When asked by journalists what they would be doing this summer Kenny Dalglish said he was planning tactics so that Liverpool will win the Premier League next season, David Moyes said he'd spend the summer shagging Pamela Anderson, and Angelina Jolie! When the journalist told him to be serious Moyes pointed to Dalglish and said- "Well he fuckin started it"!
Santa turns to one of his elves and says "I'm sick and tired of this. Year in, year out, I have to wear this stupid red outfit, I do all the work and yet I end up with f*** all at the end of it"
The Elf says "At least you know how Steven Gerrard feels!
When Ryan Giggs' wife divorces him and gets half of everything, she'll have 6 more Premier League medals than Steven Gerrard....
When asked by journalists what they would be doing this summer Kenny Dalglish said he was planning tactics so that Liverpool will win the Premier League next season, David Moyes said he'd spend the summer shagging Pamela Anderson, and Angelina Jolie! When the journalist told him to be serious Moyes pointed to Dalglish and said- "Well he fuckin started it"!
Santa turns to one of his elves and says "I'm sick and tired of this. Year in, year out, I have to wear this stupid red outfit, I do all the work and yet I end up with f*** all at the end of it"
The Elf says "At least you know how Steven Gerrard feels!
GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
What does a dwarf get if he runs through a woman's legs?.....
A clit round the ear,a flap across the face,and a crack on the head.
A clit round the ear,a flap across the face,and a crack on the head.
GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
Man in bedroom,shouts through to his girlfriend....'come into the bedroom and see my clock'.
She enters the room and he is lying naked on the bed with a massive erection.
She says 'that is not a clock'.
He replies 'it will be when you put two hands & a face on it'!
She enters the room and he is lying naked on the bed with a massive erection.
She says 'that is not a clock'.
He replies 'it will be when you put two hands & a face on it'!
GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
A nurse finds a mental patient rubbing his cock between 2 cheese biscuits.
'what on earth are you doing?' she asked.
'i'm f8cking crackers' he replied.
......
Roses are red
violets are blue
i'm schizophrenic
& so am i.
'what on earth are you doing?' she asked.
'i'm f8cking crackers' he replied.
......
Roses are red
violets are blue
i'm schizophrenic
& so am i.
Osa Bin Laden was apparently dyslexic.
He was quite pissed off when he was met by 72 vegans in paradise,
He was quite pissed off when he was met by 72 vegans in paradise,
nomoremithras4me
Active member
- Apr 7, 2011
- 2,348
Whats the difference between David Haye & my trousers? My trousers have got a belt