O/T: Serious advice needed, please help!

[Adam Virgo's Shirt]

Mate - I'm sorry both of these things have come up at the same time! Life is crap sometimes!

IMO, however hard it might be, you should sort the job thing out first and worry about her later!

By focussing on that right now it will also help with the gf situation too. If you put your energy into work, you won't be bombarding her with how you feel about her, and will give her the impression (albeit falsely) that you have accepted her decision and moved on.

In my experience, nothing will make you attractive to her again more than her thinking you don't care!

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

In my experience, nothing will make you attractive to her again more than her thinking you don't care!

Spot on.

Ignore her and she will soon miss the attention.

 

[Ernest]

Go down the Ladyboys of Bangkok show and find yourself a REAL woman

 

[csider]

Pics of her so we can get an idea if she is worth keeping

 

[Bars Mar]

....

 

[Adam Virgo's Shirt]

Just thinking.....but what came first? The job or the gf deciding she needs space?

Could it be that she wants you for your job? I know that sounds harsh but if it's true then you're well rid and don't waste anymore time on her!

 

[NMH]

Become scarce yourself, and distant.

You need to be in possession of your self and self control, and while 'on the back foot' you can't be yourself and have a handle on the situation as you'd like to. How are you going to be relaxed, funny, and basically yourself, while worrying over it and put into the corner like this?

For your best mental health and future, the right thing to do is to give her more 'space' (that's a f***ed word that women use when they're entertaining going out with some other bloke). Tell her you can't make a date on the day/evening she chooses, and that you are tied up with things you are now doing with YOUR time, YOUR 'space'.
If she catches you on the phone, retain a little distance, allow it to play on her mind a little, don't ask anything about her or what she's doing, and get off the phone asap - even start the conversation with "I can't talk right now, I'm a bit tied up - I'll call you later" If she tells you she won't be around later, tell her "in a day or two then" and don't show any sign of interest in what she's doing or when she'll be in.
Don't just be there at her beck and call - you have to value your own self for someone else to value you. Women are NEVER attracted to hang-dogs, desperation, or 'too easy to have'. Become a challenge, become interesting again, and most importantly be in control of your own destiny and time.

Yes yes, so you care about her and all that - but this person doesn't mind enough about you at the moment and actually doesn't need you to be caring about them.
Words are also cheap, and you'd prefer actions that represent some more consideration from her department. You don't want to be controllable by remote, from a simple phone call. If she's calling your mobile, don't answer, let her leave a message and don't leap to call back in a hurry either.

Evasive action mate. Be less available. because she is risking losing you and your availability. Let her be aware that is the case, and let her 'space' be spent with a little more thought about you.

 

[NMH]

One of my teenage romances wanted 'space' around this time of year, so the next day I went out and pulled a Swedish bird. (It's the perfect time of the year to be free and single!).

What do you know, she wondered what I was up to, started calling all the time, and asked why I wasn't calling her! I simply told her I'd started a holiday romance and she'd have to wait. After two weeks of her waiting, telling me how much she cared and was crying etc, I went round hers and dumped her.

The summer was in full swing, and the lovely Scandinavians and Europeans were all over town needing service.

A man has to fill his boots, and mine were made for walking over the pasty English bint who "needed space".

 

[steward 433]

Take my advice

Concentrate on the hunt for a new job. It's more important as the situation stand. If she does only want space she will ring you and you can go from there but keep your options open and see other women if that's what YOU want.

Life is a pain in the arse and it would be easy if relationships just didn't exist BUT they do and we all have our ups and downs. Keep your chin up , Go out and get a BETTER job, Improve your life in all aspects and then worry about women (sorry Lush and Adam Virgos shirt) because until you meet the right one they are just a f***ing pain.

Go out get a good job then just step back and have some fun, You are young and life is just a journey to ENJOY so when something bad happens make sure you make something good happen in return

:thud: GOD that was sensible for me

 

[bright1064]

For your best mental health and future, the right thing to do is to give her more 'space' (that's a f***ed word that women use when they're entertaining going out with some other bloke).

Just a quick update...

NMH might just be the WISEST man on the planet.

She is "seeing" another guy

 

[British Bulldog]

I doubt it's of much consolation fella but at least you know where you stand now, Maybe it's time to be selfish and concentrate on yourself now and re building your own life.

 

[steward 433]

Just a quick update...

NMH might just be the WISEST man on the planet.

She is "seeing" another guy

Harsh mate but there is your answer.

How is the job hunting going?

 

[bright1064]

But we still see each other a few times a week, and we text a bit as well. She seems very confused about everything. On the one hand she is "seeing" this other bloke, but at the same time I think she still likes me! I can't help but want her back. Because she is young, I guess she feels like she needs to not be stuck in the same old relationship, and is trying to block it out with Mr. Nobhead!!

She has a season ticket with me for the first time next year as well. Apparantly she still wants to come to the Withdean for every game!!

She obviously has some sense!

 

[steward 433]

How's the job hunting going??

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I think it would be unwise to waste any time chasing after her or pining. There may be someone else waiting around the corner for you.

If it is going to work out in the end, then it will. The only thing you can do is be yourself, the person she fell for in the first place. Besides which, being unobtainable generally makes someone more attractive so hit the road running.

You do have to feel sorry for the new guy. He can't have much luck in life with a name like Mr Nobhead.

 

[bright1064]

You do have to feel sorry for the new guy. He can't have much luck in life with a name like Mr Nobhead.

To make matters worse, he is a GINGER nobhead!

 

[BensGrandad]

Bright 1064

Were you not still on Bright FM on Sunday morning?

 

[bright1064]

Bright 1064

Were you not still on Bright FM on Sunday morning?

I was indeed, and I'm on air now doing Breakfast!

I'm working here until August, just to clarify.

 

[BensGrandad]

Wish you well shall tune in shortly as we drive to Worthing.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Hello everyone!

I aint been on here for a few weeks due to my personal life going tits up! Within 24 hours I got told I was being made redundant, and that my girlfriend has decided she no longer wants to be with me after three years.

I know NSC can sometimes be a cruel place to air "personal" stories. But I'd like to think there are some people out there who can sympathise, and maybe offer a helping hand?

I'm not really concerned about my work life at the moment, that can wait. The only thing going on in my head is my girlfriend! She says that she wants space and that we have become different people. She has met a new bunch of friends recently, and seems to want to live a new lifestyle with them. But she also says that she misses me, and wants to meet up next week at some point. So I'm not sure what's going on?

I have decided to give her space and time to think about what she wants. But all I really want is her back! I feel like I should be doing something at least to try and show her that I love her.

If anyone can offer advice, I could really do with it right now.

Cheers guys!

The worst thing you can do is become weak and needy. DO NOT send loads of flowers, DO NOT send love letters. Give her her space and act with disdain. Make it obvious you care and do not want to split up and then walk away. Go out with your mates, get on with life as if her not being there is not the end of it even though it may feel like it now. She is far more likely to come back if you are strong and confident in your future than a needy man who " cannot live without her " that will scare her away for ever.

If she does not come back it was not meant to be but this is your best policy.