pork pie
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what a prize knob!
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national strike
- Thread starter dexter
- Start date
what a prize knob!
Albumen
Don't wait for me!
2 of them in fact.
Seagull on the wing
New member
So we have a country that is deeply in debt...and the Union comes up with..."Let's go on strike" costing over £500m and achieving what? Did you get what you wanted...no!! Talk about turkeys voting for Christmas,make more job losses...that makes sense!!!Oh my, Do you honestly believe that? This whole thing the thousands of people going out was just to settle a score from decades ago
Contribute more, Work more, Recieve less.
It's a joke, And before you scream and shout no I didn't strike today as I have a duty of care I hold in high regard but I fully support those that did.
Leekbrookgull
Well-known member
Was in Manchester city centre today and NOTHING. Only 'Joe Public' getting on with life.
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing 'We shall overcome'.
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain 's apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return them to their own country were abandoned, because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The government praises the asylum-seeking cats for enriching Britain 's multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a government minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom .
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses. Their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing 'We shall overcome'.
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain 's apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return them to their own country were abandoned, because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The government praises the asylum-seeking cats for enriching Britain 's multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a government minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom .
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses. Their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
Seagull on the wing
New member
Good analogy Race...very well put (Just hope my cat is one of those who gets a million quid!)
They were very good thank you.
What an utter load of absolute bollocks. I find it unbelievable that people fall for this Daily Mail Tory Top Gear made up nonsense. Cant you see whats happening? Open your eyes and stop reading this trash. And dont just copy and paste badly written email spam onto message boards.
sten_super
Brain Surgeon
Sorry, missed this last night. Yes, I'd precisely like to know what the position would be if the money was put into a fund. I'd be interested to see the NUT analysis, I'd also be interested to know what their liabilities were in 2008 relative to the £46bn they say was overpaid.
On the second point - that's exactly what I'm saying; that currently the amount paid in by teachers exceeds the amount taken out by retired teachers. But is that position sustainable? I haven't seen anyone (from the Unions or elsewhere) suggest that they believe that this position will continue, which suggests that it isn't.
The outgoings in the teachers scheme (pensions) exceeded incomings (contributions) by over £2b last year so I'm afraid you are wrong there. Just google the accounts if you don't believe me.
sten_super
Brain Surgeon
Thanks for pointing this out - to be honest I'd assumed that the current position was in credit as I'd heard that fact recycled a lot, I'm very surprised to see that isn't the case. According to the accounts for 2010-11 the exchequer contributed £2.53bn (up from £2.14bn the previous year) to make up the difference between the contributions (employee + employer) and outgoings. It's also worth noting that the accounts state that total liabilities attached to the scheme (i.e. payments due in the future due to already-received contributions) currently stand at £192.52bn, which rather puts the £46bn figure from the unions in perspective.
https://www.education.gov.uk/publications/eOrderingDownload/HC-988.pdf
Oh my days, was this written by the Daily Mail? What a load of warped nonsense.
Calm down Southy.Haven't you lot got a sense of humour?Oh no I forgot, outraged Lefties aren't allowed one!
D
Deleted member 22389
Guest
I copied and pasted this from the government website.
Do MPs have their own pension scheme?
Yes they do - a final salary scheme with a choice of accrual rates. Members can choose to contribute at 1/40th, 1/50th or 1/60th. It is a contributory pension with the contribution rates set at 11.9%, 7.9% and 5.9% respectively.
Is this better than public sector pensions?
Do MPs have their own pension scheme?
Yes they do - a final salary scheme with a choice of accrual rates. Members can choose to contribute at 1/40th, 1/50th or 1/60th. It is a contributory pension with the contribution rates set at 11.9%, 7.9% and 5.9% respectively.
Is this better than public sector pensions?
It's rather hard to compare the two really. Teachers will work for around 40 years before drawing their pension in a relatively secure job - i.e. if they wish to stay in it they generally can. MPs on the other hand run the real risk of losing their job every 4/5 years and very few will ever get to serve for 40 years ( especially given it's difficult to become an MP before your 30s ). *** Before I'm flamed - I'm not supporting the MPs pension scheme with this post ***
BadFish
Huge Member
- Oct 19, 2003
- 17,927
Wow I never thought about it like that,I see things clearly now. I'm converted I'm off to join the BNP and have a lobotomy.
.......I f***ing hate grasshoppers, the green bastards......
it's working, it's working.........not like that f***ing green grasshopper!...........This is bliss.
Uncle C
Well-known member
State workers get paid 7.5% more than private sector staff - Institute of Fiscal Studies
So, that will be better pay and better pensions
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068378/State-workers-paid-7-5-private-sector-staff.html#ixzz1fH13RFvchttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068378/State-workers-paid-7-5-private-sector-staff.html
So, that will be better pay and better pensions
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068378/State-workers-paid-7-5-private-sector-staff.html#ixzz1fH13RFvchttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068378/State-workers-paid-7-5-private-sector-staff.html
beorhthelm
A. Virgo, Football Genius
- Jul 21, 2003
- 35,858
one tidbit of information that came out to day was the public-private pay gap, which is 4.3% for men and 10.5%. thats a gap in *favour* of the public sector, which surprised me, and offers an interest insight to alot of arguements made.
Well, let's not forget the £40,000 they get when they do lose their job (despite the fact that most already have other jobs).