Is it EVER possible to do a .....

[Brighton till i die]

Being in the military i regulaly have to do a combat shit wherever i can.I can confirm that when i have to squat with my pants round my ankles i can do a pooh without a wee coming out.

Dont quite know how coz whenever i sit on the bog properly i always have to wee first.

IN FACT im going for a shit now,so i'll try doing it sat round the other way.Think it might make it quite difficult to read my magazine though.

I f***ing LOVE THIS THREAD.

Mate it seems you have found the CURE - squatting! not only is it good for the leg muscles but also gives your one-eyed snake a breather while in the shitter!!

maybe when you fully sit down your bladder relxes hence the oputburst of UNWANTED piss, but when you squat you are more tense so can hold it in.

this could be a major break through....

 

[John Dorian]

thats f***ing brilliant mate - congrats on your new stance.

would have been so funny if someone in your house had of walked in and saw you there with your arse facing the door, while leaning over reading the small print on the shampoo bottle.

i've gotta try this when i ge thome - i fancied a poo in a minute but i'm going to try and brew it until i get home...

Do you know how happy that this thread has made a re-appearance..absolutely BRILLIANT.

As for the congrats, I will dedicate it to my fellow members of NSC, for they have always supported me through these barron times on finding places and ways to shit.

I did worry about the whole embarrasment issue, but gladly locked the toilet door on this occasion so all was fine this time around. As for brewing, didn't your mother ever tell you that was bad for you ?

 

[Mendoza]

Just to inform you guys, the second coming did happen as promised. I love my BOWELS.

and as promised to you regular (get it) posters, I did it back to front and I found a WHOLE NEW WORLD. not only do you not have to look at the same boring room, looked at for years whilst taking a shit but I have a small windowledge which contains many a shampoo bottle and toothpaste/moutwash bottle used for reading material (amazing what stuff goes into a bottle of CORSODYL), a great view out of the window of the trees and birds, an arm rest on the cistern for the harder, deeper shit to really use some LEVERAGE and there was a handy ledge just by the bath which was used to rest my bottle of COORS LIGHT, which i did take to the TOILET with me.

HOWEVER, there are some drawbacks...and this includes the WIPEAGE as the seat narrows slightly making access to the anus a little difficult...FINALLY, make SURE the door is LOCKED because otherwise it is going to be EMBARRASSING explaining why YOU are SHITTING the wrong way ROUND....

good night gents, happy chopping !!

I just did a proper CHORTLE out loud, reading this, as it was me that asked the question to the board.

When my work colleague asked why i was laughing, I couldnt show him this post.

I think I nearly snotted trying not to laugh so loudly

Good times, great thread, and now I wish I needed a shit now

 

[John Dorian]

I just did a proper CHORTLE out loud, reading this, as it was me that asked the question to the board.

When my work colleague asked why i was laughing, I couldnt show him this post.

I think I nearly snotted trying not to laugh so loudly

Good times, great thread, and now I wish I needed a shit now

This is what NSC REALLY should be about...so many tired old posters posting shit about Adams, League positions, Virgo, Car Parks and it is refreshing to be able to GIGGLE at a thread...I am happy I have made you happy haha

By the way, I don't know what the hell I've been eating this past weekend BUT two GHOST POOS in two days where I've not had any in about 4 months...

 

[Mendoza]

I love it, instead of people posting shit, we are posting about shit

I think my next project will be to test which food floats in water, and only eating those foods, to see if it makes my poo float too

 

[Brighton till i die]

Do you know how happy that this thread has made a re-appearance..absolutely BRILLIANT.

As for the congrats, I will dedicate it to my fellow members of NSC, for they have always supported me through these barron times on finding places and ways to shit.

I did worry about the whole embarrasment issue, but gladly locked the toilet door on this occasion so all was fine this time around. As for brewing, didn't your mother ever tell you that was bad for you ?

mate its brilliant for u - i once held it for DAYS and when it came out it almost ripped my arsehole to pieces - was great though.

i am wiating for your neighbours to start seeing you through the toilet wondow, i believe there will be picture evidence in a local paper soon.....

 

[Brighton till i die]

Good times, great thread, and now I wish I needed a shit now

go out and have a fag mate - always loosens my bowels RIGHT UP!

 

[John Dorian]

I love it, instead of people posting shit, we are posting about shit

I think my next project will be to test which food floats in water, and only eating those foods, to see if it makes my poo float too

What a fantastic idea !! I personally think that a whole loaf of bread will wreak havoc on the systems and pipes...and I think that due to mass of a full loaf, no butter, means that the shit will SINK. Go Mendoza GO !!!

 

[Mendoza]

What a fantastic idea !! I personally think that a whole loaf of bread will wreak havoc on the systems and pipes...and I think that due to mass of a full loaf, no butter, means that the shit will SINK. Go Mendoza GO !!!

Is it physicaly poissble to eat a whole loaf in one sit?
I had a jacket potato, with cheese and beans, none of which float, so I am guaranteed to create a SINKER. But its not near ready yet.

 

[John Dorian]

mate its brilliant for u - i once held it for DAYS and when it came out it almost ripped my arsehole to pieces - was great though.

i am wiating for your neighbours to start seeing you through the toilet wondow, i believe there will be picture evidence in a local paper soon.....

Alas, I think I'm safe for now as I live on the edge of the woods where theyve found that skull and bones in Hastings...so lots of police activity atm but they WONT be SNOOPING in my window to see the ways and means that I offload my waste..

About to go for a dump at work, there are no shelves for drinks, and the cistern is above head height and has a proper "chain" chain- probably not the best idea for a back-to-front shit...also wearing expensive suit trousers and dont fancy messing them, plus NO lock on the DOOR...its not a go-er this time !!!

 

[John Dorian]

Is it physicaly poissble to eat a whole loaf in one sit?
I had a jacket potato, with cheese and beans, none of which float, so I am guaranteed to create a SINKER. But its not near ready yet.

I don't know, I don't think I've ever tried...would be awfully FULL after. I'm ok for the CHALLENGE however.

Oooh...Jacket eh ? Thats a fibrous dinner, young MENDOZA...and that baby has got to bake yet !!! Give it time, and rub your belly, definately helps, all the pregnant women do it.

 

[Brighton till i die]

About to go for a dump at work, there are no shelves for drinks, and the cistern is above head height and has a proper "chain" chain- probably not the best idea for a back-to-front shit...also wearing expensive suit trousers and dont fancy messing them, plus NO lock on the DOOR...its not a go-er this time !!!

Mate i have the EXACT same toilet set up at work - my poo wasn't ready for launch last night @ home. so i couldn't try out the back-to-front shit.

now i'm at work and could easily curl one out, but it'd have to be a normal front facing shit - NOT GOOD ENOUGH.


Mendoza - you could easily polish off a full loaf mate - get it down ya, get on the bog and see if that shit FLOATS!

 

[John Dorian]

Morning all !! I had an EVIL shit last night and had to leave window open all night to get rid of the smell from the toilet..was f***ing cold !!!

And you're right mate, its not GOOD ENOUGH...we are RESPECTABLE citizens of this world and deserve the right to shit how we like and where we like without eyes and ears JUDGING us..

 

[Brighton till i die]

Morning all !! I had an EVIL shit last night and had to leave window open all night to get rid of the smell from the toilet..was f***ing cold !!!

And you're right mate, its not GOOD ENOUGH...we are RESPECTABLE citizens of this world and deserve the right to shit how we like and where we like without eyes and ears JUDGING us..

So true - it must have been a stinker to leave the window open as it was FREEZING!!

... as i missed my shit slot last night i am not farting like a mother fucker - so much so that i have to keep blaming other people near me as it smells f***ing awful.

i might bite the bullet and dumperoone at work but i am a tad excited about getting home and doing it backwards!!

 

[John Dorian]

So true - it must have been a stinker to leave the window open as it was FREEZING!!

... as i missed my shit slot last night i am not farting like a mother fucker - so much so that i have to keep blaming other people near me as it smells f***ing awful.

i might bite the bullet and dumperoone at work but i am a tad excited about getting home and doing it backwards!!

To be honest, I did feel pretty dirty after doing it...Not one of my proudest moments...ha ha

Care to join the Back-To-Front Shit Society ?

 

[Mendoza]

I didnt do it back to front, due to being at work, but eating a lot of bread does NOT make your shit FLOAT - Factoid!!

 

[Brighton till i die]

I didnt do it back to front, due to being at work, but eating a lot of bread does NOT make your shit FLOAT - Factoid!!

bummer - good effort though.

how about SHIT loads of iron... liver etc?

 

[Brighton till i die]

I didnt do it back to front, due to being at work, but eating a lot of bread does NOT make your shit FLOAT - Factoid!!

have you found a "floating" diet yet dude>?>

 

[Mendoza]

have you found a "floating" diet yet dude>?>

not yet, this morning I had a 6 piece Fry up, so I doubt the magic is going to happen today.

It is possible though, as there is always one floating in the train toilets without fail!

 

[John Dorian]

Ahh the old commuter present, nicely done..

Do you know how happy I was to find this thread at the top of the NSC tree ?

Morning all !!! Nice to see Mendoza has joined the group, I trust that means a back to front shit was taken !!!