GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
Just tel us all Edna.....when did you last let rip in the pants?
Oh crikey-waits in anticipation...........
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Have you ever FOLLOWED THROUGH?
- Thread starter El Presidente
- Start date
Oh crikey-waits in anticipation...........
hitony
Administrator
See, this to me is......"My friend has a problem" type scenario...so should we read this as........."I shit myself and luckily my Mum was around to clean it up"
hitony
Administrator
GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
Why
That would be interesting...the royal pardon
Why
Got tissues in hand....
Raleigh Chopper
New member
You've found me out, have you been watching in treatment.See, this to me is......"My friend has a problem" type scenario...so should we read this as........."I shit myself and luckily my Mum was around to clean it up"
RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)
New member
Yes when I was about 16, I dislocated my shoulder turning over in bed one night. I got up walked down the hall to wake Mum to take me to the hospital to put it back in (it is a common occurrence) but on the way down the hall the pain I was in caused diarrhea - which started before I could get there :-( I had to sit on the loo for a while with my elbow joint nearly between my knees until my stomach calmed down, then stand in the shower to clean up and then dry and dress (all with my shoulder out), and then go and get my shoulder reduced. All my Dad was concerned about when we eventually woke him to tell him we were going to A&E was had I ruined the carpet!
In the words of Alan partridge, I was looking for funny stories but that's just upsetting. Poor you
By the way I followed through a couple of weeks ago when the kids gave me a stomach bug. Then they had the cheek to accuse me of smelling of poo all day
tedebear
Legal Alien
Yuck there have been some nasty tummy bugs around this winter. I was just about to delete my post given the direction this thread was heading - but now you've quoted me!
RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)
New member
Yuck there have been some nasty tummy bugs around this winter. I was just about to delete my post given the direction this thread was heading - but now you've quoted me!
I'm glad you didn't delete. As horrendous as it is, it's a pretty epic story
Motogull
Todd Warrior
- Sep 16, 2005
- 10,254
First one. Me and wife went on holiday with her brother and his wife and our one year olds. Must have had a dodgy prawn omelette because I had stomach pains later on. Anyway wifes and babies were in bed so the chaps stayed up drinking and watching TV. I guffed, knew it was wrong so said 'shit'. Bro-in-law asked me if I'd followed and I said yes. We had a good laugh before I went and got cleaned up.
Second. Was committed to a semi formal drink after work. Sat at desk as normal and 'guffed' but it was wet. Chair underneath was wet when I stood up. Binned the pants but spent the rest of the day very nervous about wanting to guff again.
Also 'shat' meself on a booze cruise so does not count but will mention it in the spirit of christmas. Woke up about 4.30ish for an early start with a massive hangover and putting 2 and 2 together, wiped after the first shite and after a strain thinking there might be more, decided there was none, I got that wrong. Could not work out why I had a warm chuff all the way to Dover. Anyway, after brekkies in McDs went to the bog and made my discovery. Binned the pants. Somewhat annoyingly, I was wearing ripped jeans - across the bottom of one buttock - so had to wait til we hit the hypermarket where I made a quick pants purchase. Happy days.
Second. Was committed to a semi formal drink after work. Sat at desk as normal and 'guffed' but it was wet. Chair underneath was wet when I stood up. Binned the pants but spent the rest of the day very nervous about wanting to guff again.
Also 'shat' meself on a booze cruise so does not count but will mention it in the spirit of christmas. Woke up about 4.30ish for an early start with a massive hangover and putting 2 and 2 together, wiped after the first shite and after a strain thinking there might be more, decided there was none, I got that wrong. Could not work out why I had a warm chuff all the way to Dover. Anyway, after brekkies in McDs went to the bog and made my discovery. Binned the pants. Somewhat annoyingly, I was wearing ripped jeans - across the bottom of one buttock - so had to wait til we hit the hypermarket where I made a quick pants purchase. Happy days.
tedebear
Legal Alien
Vile? Everyone does it - just some people don't make it to the loo. Like you did when you were new born.
Don't take everything on here (including people giving you a hard time about suggesting players) so seriously. Its hard I know but otherwise you get wound up about something said by someone you don't even know!
I wonder if HRH The Queen has ever followed through? She must have done at some point and her shit must stink as bad as everyone else's.
Seagull on the wing
New member
Remember in my club there was a beautiful woman who always sat on a bar stool at the bar...everybody fancied her. One day she came in wearing a skimpy top and white hot pants...she took her usual position ,showing off her lovely legs when a rip fart was let loose,looking in the direction...her shorts suddenly looked camoflaged and her legs looked like she had seamed stockings on.Somehow she never had the same allure.
There used to be a nightclub in Muswell Hill called Enigma we went to most Saturday nights. It was dodgy as f*** and got closed down in the end because someone was shot outside.
Anyway, it was around 2003 because I remember a trance record they always used to play. "Let me show you the way", which was filmed on Brighton pier. I was absolutely out of it as usual and danced non-stop for about four hours, chewing gum, gurning and sipping JD and coke. The only thing I was really aware of that night was no one danced close to me. It was only when I went to the toilets near closing time that I realised I'd shit myself and my boxer shorts were covered in faeces. I threw them away down the toilet pan and realised everyone must have been aware I absolutely stank of shit but I was so high on ecstasy that I hadn't realised I'd had an accident. I didn't go there again for a long time. Awful and humiliating.
Anyway, it was around 2003 because I remember a trance record they always used to play. "Let me show you the way", which was filmed on Brighton pier. I was absolutely out of it as usual and danced non-stop for about four hours, chewing gum, gurning and sipping JD and coke. The only thing I was really aware of that night was no one danced close to me. It was only when I went to the toilets near closing time that I realised I'd shit myself and my boxer shorts were covered in faeces. I threw them away down the toilet pan and realised everyone must have been aware I absolutely stank of shit but I was so high on ecstasy that I hadn't realised I'd had an accident. I didn't go there again for a long time. Awful and humiliating.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Twice.
Once in SE7 when I was not very well and had to release (what I thought was just...) gas. An uncomfortable 15 minute walk home. Thankfully, my landlords were in bed and there was not a soul about.
The first time was in South America when I consumed three bowls full of Rocket Fuel to follow copious cocktails and Tequila. Thankfully, I was on the water at the time, a banana boat, and it coincided with a capsize and the damage was untraceable.
Once in SE7 when I was not very well and had to release (what I thought was just...) gas. An uncomfortable 15 minute walk home. Thankfully, my landlords were in bed and there was not a soul about.
The first time was in South America when I consumed three bowls full of Rocket Fuel to follow copious cocktails and Tequila. Thankfully, I was on the water at the time, a banana boat, and it coincided with a capsize and the damage was untraceable.
CP 0 3 BHA
Well-known member
Twice.
The second one was routinely dealt with in the safety of my own home - the first one in the early 90s gave me a very busy and stressful night in a Cardiff hotel!
I was just driving up to the hotel I'd booked into so that I could attend an early meeting in Cardiff the next morning when I felt the need to release a small fart - with disasterous results. I immediately knew all was not well but had to cope with parking up and checking into the hotel before I could rescue the situation. Once in the privacy of my room, the underwear was quickly dispatched but I then spent half the evening scrubbing away at my suit trousers and working out how to dry them so that I could attend the meeting the following morning without any telltale sights or smells. Not my finest hour!
The second one was routinely dealt with in the safety of my own home - the first one in the early 90s gave me a very busy and stressful night in a Cardiff hotel!
I was just driving up to the hotel I'd booked into so that I could attend an early meeting in Cardiff the next morning when I felt the need to release a small fart - with disasterous results. I immediately knew all was not well but had to cope with parking up and checking into the hotel before I could rescue the situation. Once in the privacy of my room, the underwear was quickly dispatched but I then spent half the evening scrubbing away at my suit trousers and working out how to dry them so that I could attend the meeting the following morning without any telltale sights or smells. Not my finest hour!
Steveapps71
New member
yeah few weeks back driving up to London on the A24 in me van, shit meself, i was luckily just coming up to the macdonalds on A24/a272 crossroads...pants dispensed in the
bin outside macdonalds & clear up of undercarriage in the bogs..good to go...
Only done it a couple of times...
I did also used "sleep piss" used to open up wardropes & piss all over the clothes..thats another thread waiting to happen
bin outside macdonalds & clear up of undercarriage in the bogs..good to go...
Only done it a couple of times...
I did also used "sleep piss" used to open up wardropes & piss all over the clothes..thats another thread waiting to happen
Billy the Fish
Technocrat
Pretty sure this thread proves that you're a wierdo if you haven't shat you pants
