Do you ever have a poo at work ?

[Easy 10]

easy, never fear we have a cleaner that comes by at the start of every morning.

What, your cleaners come round and help you wipe your ARSE ?
I want a job at your gaff.

 

[Simster]

What, your cleaners come round and help you wipe your ARSE ?
I want a job at your gaff.

The job of cleaner is available, apparently.

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

This reminds me of that SHITHOUSE advert with the kids handing out single pieces of tissue paper.

When I go for a dump, I ALWAYS need more than one piece of paper.

I go for dumps at work all the time They are cleaned regulary and the paper is half decent

I DONT do public toilets though unless its really desperate.

 

[Emily's Mum]

I love a good spine jangling back breaker at work, but my wife says girls dont curl one out in the office bogs which i personally find bizarre. Can any other women confirm that this is a men only thing?

Until I met Mr Apples, I was a "Do it only at home girl" However, now I get told off for doing at home & using the toilet paper. I have been told that Work is place for that sort of thing, using paper & time provided by the taxpayer!!!!

 

[desprateseagull]

.....Tell your mate to get a grip of himself.

jerking off is really not good idea, on company time!

 

[Nottseagull]

That's because it is. Although in fairness, I can't relate to your image of piss splashed floors. It simply doesn't happen in my work-toilet arena.

Work-toilet arena ??!! I have an image of all your colleagues sitting in stands watching you crap!

 

[cheshunt seagull]

We have very spacious, well appointed, disabled cubicles but have neglected to employ any disabled people so I find it very relaxing to use them for a protracted session. The fact that they also contain washing basins means that I can exit the facility very quickly with no risk of having to make awkward conversation with any colleagues whilst washing hands or catch the eye of the fiercesome female Nigerian cleaner who's cleaning timetable seems closely aligned with that of my digestive transit.

 

[csider]

once almost cleared out a floor of amex after a massive off loading. managed to pass the blame to a female co-worker who was passing by.........it f***ing stank!!

 

[simmo]

I do quite enjoy a relaxing dump at work, although the toilets must be empty on the way in, and I hate it if anyone comes in mid-dump. Even worse if someone starts to use the cubicle next door.

I am not sure how long you have been at your company but there is a simple answer to this, if you are a long term employee and "part of the furniture".....use the disabled toilet.

It is a pleasure, you get all the leg room you need to express yourself, you never get disturbed mid flow and there is plenty of room to read the paper....and in my case the cleaners look at the disabled bloke that works in our office as if he is some kind of sh1tt1ng machine, as they think he does both mine and his

 

[jevs]

Does anyone use "wet-wipes" for the clear up operation ?

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Is this wierd as well ?
whenever I am having a dump, I always have to take one leg out of the trousers and if it means a show has to come off as well, then sobeit. gives more freedom of movement.

Yes it is but that said I've got a mate that insists on taking off all his clothes to have a dump - wherever that might be !!! And no, I've not checked out if he's telling the truth before anyone asks !

 

[Taybha]

ffs

 

[smudge]

My sister is very weird when it comes to crapping. I've told her the way she carries on that she will end up wearing a bag.
The worst example is that she once went on holiday & didn't shit till she got home......for 2 fecking weeks!
Wrong.

 

[Don Quixote]

I hate it when someone is in the cubical next to you and you just know that the poo is going to make a farting noise when it comes out.

What do you do?

 

[Arthritic Toe]

What do you do if your phone rings? Answer it? (thereby giving away your identity - you are probably anonymous at this point) or cancel it?

 

[El Presidente]

About 18 months ago I dropped an enormous payload at a major investment bank. It refused to budge and after three flushes the floor was flooded with overflow. Although I normally like to wave the kids off, I legged it for fear of being caught. I made my escape silently and innocently, but believe that it may have been a contributory cause to the global recession as the shithouse on the trading floor was closed for an hour to clean up the mess causing the traders to go upstairs to the nearest khazi, wasting valuable time selling and buying, and the stockmarket was never the same after that.