Did Jesus Die?

[dougdeep]

Who said anything about God? This thread is about whether Jesus died or not. I don't believe Jesus is God, I beleive he was human and mortal.

What's your problem and how much have you read about this subject?

More than enough, I'll stick with Non fiction.

 

[Easy 10]

Da Vinci is a little too close to De Vecchi for my liking. So I don't like it on principle.

There. I said it.

 

[Marc]

Da Vinci is a little too close to De Vecchi for my liking. So I don't like it on principle.

There. I said it.

haha probably the most stupid thing you've ever said LOSER

 

[Easy 10]

haha probably the most stupid thing you've ever said LOSER

Oooh, you have NO idea...

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

i bet jesus had a massive WILLY

if you were god, and you could make your own son, you would blatently give him a big WILLY wouldn't you, as he's basically the human form of you

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

i bet jesus had a massive WILLY

if you were god, and you could make your own son, you would blatently give him a big WILLY wouldn't you, as he's basically the human form of you

But on the statues of him on the cross - he's not exactly covered by the biggest cloth around.... i'm reckoning he had a SMALL willy

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

oh come on, if you were being IMPALED on a cross infront of everyone you wouldn't have a HARD-ON would you?(you're a girl, you wouldn't know)

i reckon he was a GROWER

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

oh come on, if you were being IMPALED on a cross infront of everyone you wouldn't have a HARD-ON would you?(you're a girl, you wouldn't know)

i reckon he was a GROWER

But there looks like there's nothing to hang down!

Let's hope he was a grower - Mary Magdaline(sp?!) would have been very unimpressed!

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

def a grower cos he was a little big black and most black men are GROWERS


come on, he was the son of GOD, he would blatently be well endowed

 

[Les Biehn]

I've just started a thread on tats yet I do believe I have been out done by a conversation on Jesus's near death boner

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

def a grower cos he was a little big black and most black men are GROWERS


come on, he was the son of GOD, he would blatently be well endowed

But maybe God got a bit of cock-jealousy when making Jesus up, so made him have a tiddler so that he wouldn't be as embarrassed that he had a little one also

Likely that he was a grower - but i doubt he would grow that much

 

[jonny.rainbow]

Crucifixion causes death by asphyxiation.

Asphyxiation leads to the penis becoming erect.

Therefore on the cross he would've been as well endowed as he ever was.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

does god have a willy?

he wasn't really human was he?


all i know is that if i had to make the human version of myself, in man form, i'd give him a massive willy, cos it'd look good on me, its like "yeah, see that PIMP down there, well he's basically ME"

if he'd made a girl it'd be a slaggers with big TITS so he could watch her naked

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

Crucifixion causes death by asphyxiation.

Asphyxiation leads to the penis becoming erect.

Therefore on the cross he would've been as well endowed as he ever was.

Exactly - Jesus was a TIDDLER. FACT.

Course God had a willy, he wouldnt have been called a "he" in the bible otherwise surely? I reckon he had a little one too. Good theory about Jesus' willy, but i'm sticking by the TIDDLER.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

hmm, dunno, maybe its just a "he" because when they wrote the bible they were all sexist and women were only good for being mums and cleaning and stuff


if it was written today god would probably be a disabled LESBIAN or something


but yeah, god was MASSIVE weren't he, he must have a biggun, maybe not big in comparison to his like 90ft body but still pretty big


i dnno, maybe the pics of jesus dieing weren't PHOTOS and the artists were just jealous themselves?

 

[Les Biehn]

Ah but would the son of God get a boner in public, surely thats not very Christian. And if he did he would be most adept at performing a Melvin (the placing of the boner under the waist band to hide it).

Surely we can't keep perpetuating this patriarchal myth that god is a man. I believe him/her to have both organs and to pleasure himself constantly, this is why the world is going to shit. Wanking certainly ruined my A'levels.

 

[Mr Burns]

does god have a willy?

he wasn't really human was he?


all i know is that if i had to make the human version of myself, in man form, i'd give him a massive willy, cos it'd look good on me, its like "yeah, see that PIMP down there, well he's basically ME"

if he'd made a girl it'd be a slaggers with big TITS so he could watch her naked

Well if he didn't he'd have given himself one. Regilion to me is the biggest load of shit and evil in the world today.

As Derek & Clive said, if Jesus was human why didn't they report in the bible that he had a crap. If he had a slash why wasn't it reported. If he had a poop why wasn't in down (in the bible). It's all a load of bollox. Accept it when you die you die. No heaven. No hell. Just rotting to look forward to.

 

[Mr Burns]

Oh come on! This is all just a story that has been confused by translation and sexed up by those that could read in those days. Man created God. Fact!

Read the quote from the film 'Contact' below, in my siggie thing. Nuff said.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

yeah i reckon you're right leslie

the son of god would surely also have the power, unlike any other man to control his RECCY's

like when he wanted a shag or something he didn't need turning on, he could just have one when he fancied it

and he could NEVER EVER lose it, even when drunk

plus he wouldn't get any embarassing ones, like when you're on the cross watched by loads of roman soldiers and jews, cos he could just tell it not to

do you reckon he was circumsized?

 

[Les Biehn]

yeah i reckon you're right leslie

the son of god would surely also have the power, unlike any other man to control his RECCY's

like when he wanted a shag or something he didn't need turning on, he could just have one when he fancied it

and he could NEVER EVER lose it, even when drunk

plus he wouldn't get any embarassing ones, like when you're on the cross watched by loads of roman soldiers and jews, cos he could just tell it not to

do you reckon he was circumsized?

Yeah, but only for cosmetic effect to fit in with the style of the times. He could grow it back any time he liked.