Classic Simpsons lines

[Titanic]

Journo: "Question for the barbeque chef. Don't you think there is an inherent danger in sending underqualified civilians into space?"

Homer: "I'll field this one. The only danger is if they send us to that terrible 'Planet of the Apes'. Wait a minute... the Statue of Liberty... that was OUR planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!"

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Kent Brockman "Mr Simpson, how do you respond to accusations that your men are causing more crime than they're preventing?"
Homer "Oh Kent, i'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes."
Brockman (after long pause) "Well, touche."

Kearney "Yeah, the break-up of my first marriage was tough on my kid"
Little Kearney (popping his head up from behind the seat) "I sleep in a drawer!"

 

[Guinness Boy]

Again not sure of the exact words but Homer, again, when thinking up a name for the new baby boy in a flashback episode.

Kids always make up nicknames that rhyme with your name though. Let's think..Bart.......Aart, Cart, Dart, Eart....hmm seems OK.

 

[Titanic]

Dr Hibbert (to Homer - standing there in just his y-fronts!): "Now I'm going to do a fat analysis test. I'll start you jiggling and measure how long it takes to stop."

<pokes him>

<fat ripples up and down in waves>

Homer: "Woo hoo! Look at that blubber fly!"

Dr Hibbert: "Yes... Nurse, cancel my one o'clock."

 

[Seagullmatt]

Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency... he called me... Chief Piggum! (everybody laughs) Oh ah, now I get it! Haha, that's good!

 

[Seagullmatt]

When the Simpsons join the witness protection scheme and become the Thompsons. The 2 FBI agents spend hours trying to get Homer to remember he's Mr Thompson now.

FBI man : OK Mr THOMPSON.

Homer in a loud whisper to FBI man 2 :I think he's talking to you.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Kent Brockman

"Aaaaaagggh! Ladies and gentlemen, we've just lost the picture but, uh, what we've seen, speaks for itself. The Corvair Spacecraft has been taken over- "conquered", if you will- by a master race of giant space ants........

......and I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords, and would like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves"

 

[US Seagull]

I think this may have been from last weeks:

Ralph: My nose makes it's own bubble gum (blows a huge bubble of snot out his nose)

 

[Seagullmatt]

When Super Intendant Chalmers and Skinner are trying to convince Lisa to lie about cheating they go into a classroom with Ralph at a computer

Ralph: Hello Super Nintendo Chalmers

 

[US Seagull]

After the Superintendent's finds the H missing from his Honda Accord.

Chalmer: What's the point of driving a Honda if nobody knows it's a Honda!

 

[Captain Pugwash]

homer is accused to have killed mrs bellamy. when the police raid the home (simpsons) they find her necklase.

Wiggum: homer and marge you are under arrest for the murder of mrs bellamy

homer (holding up the necklace): oh mr police man.

wiggum: i hope you are not trying to bribe me! anyway i can just nick it from the place later

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

one from todays bbc episode -

Judge (suffering from road rage) : i'm sentencing you to kiss my ass!

 

[Grin]

Another one from todays episode when homer is about to be killed by a rhino -

"I dont want to die. Mohamed alla jesus i love you all!"

 

[US Seagull]

Not a line, but a visual gag. In one episode they are in an airport and the name of the airport bookstore is "Just King and Clancy"

 

[Thimble Keegan]

My personal fave is when Homer has some sort of heart attack and obviously goes to hospital. He is lying on the bed and has the controller that moves is back rest in his hand moving it up and down saying, "bed goes up...bed goes down...etc"

The doctor then tells Homer that is he carries on with his life-style he will die. Homer then has a think bubble above his head and in it is him lying on a heavenly cloud moving it up and down saying, "cloud goes up...cloud goes down...etc"

Albion & England forever.

Thimble Keegan
Lisbon BHA

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

It's one you have to see really but Ralph Wiggum is talking to the girls in a car when they drive off laughing at him...

"Why do people run away from me"
And stands there staring blankly while this growing wet patch appears on his trousers

 

[Seagullmatt]

Homer in false posh voice: Hello my name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.

guy: First name.

Homer I don't know.

 

[Seagullmatt]

Homer: I'm tired of this Tarzan movie.
Lisa: Dad, it's a documentry on the homeless!
Homer: Oh.

Just seen this one on the Simpsons which is on at the moment and had to include it.

 

[rinkydink]

Homer on drink :

"To alcohol... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"

And in the same episode :

"Without beer prohibition doesn't work"

-

And after he comes out of a mental institution, Flanders admits to the town :

"No storing up the anger for me! If any of you upset me you're gonna hear about it! And if you really tick me off, I'll run you over with my car!"

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

220 channels and nothing but cats.........