Best Girlfriend In the world Award!

[NMH]

I have without a shadow of doubt have the best girlfriend in the world. She is just about to have our baby and obviously its valentines day tomorrow and she is insisting i go and watch the match tomorrow.

I couldn't believe my ears when i heard the words "you can go if you want babe" "we cant exactly go out and enjoy it". I played it cool and said "no babe i will stay with you" but she insisted i go and enjoy myself.

Thanks [MENTION=20206]terryberry1[/MENTION] for the ticket.

The offending remark is highlighted.
Why can't you exactly "go out and enjoy it"? Are you going to leave the poor girl at home weeping and listening to the romantic tales from her pals, feeling fat and stretched with pregnancy and unloved??

This may not be avenged exactly, but it may well haunt you later.

 

[NMH]

I have a spare ticket for tomorrows game if anyone wants it? My bit on the side has convinced her other half to go to the football so we can have a cosy night in

She's already up the duff, so it's safe sex!
And if the bump is yours, that silly sod is going to raise it thinking it's his.

 

[Djmiles]

She's already up the duff, so it's safe sex!
And if the bump is yours, that silly sod is going to raise it thinking it's his.

I think we may need a DNA test. I've always wanted to go on Jeremy Kyle

 

[Fozzyboy]

I have without a shadow of doubt have the best girlfriend in the world. She is just about to have our baby and obviously its valentines day tomorrow and she is insisting i go and watch the match tomorrow.

I couldn't believe my ears when i heard the words "you can go if you want babe" "we cant exactly go out and enjoy it". I played it cool and said "no babe i will stay with you" but she insisted i go and enjoy myself.



Thanks [MENTION=20206]terryberry1[/MENTION] for the ticket.

Don't want to put a dampner on it but what happens if she gives birth whilst you are at the game & you miss the birth? Its not exactly the quickest ground to make a dash from. I wish you both all the best for a healthy baby

 

[John Bumlick]

does she take it up the arse?

 

[toff79]

i went in on saturday and said to the mrs, you havent planned anything for valentines have you

she looked at me all doe eyed and smiley and said no why have you,

yep im going to the football, cue her storming off upstairs leaving me to watch motd in peace

 

[KZNSeagull]

No im pretty confidant she wont use it against me. (now thinking maybe i need too).

Once the baby arrives and all that goes with it - change in lifestyle, lack of sleep, stress etc etc, you may find that both her short and long term memory disappears completely.

I am sure that you will be fine though and this will not come back to haunt you.

 

[Ninja Elephant]

I have a spare ticket for tomorrows game if anyone wants it? My bit on the side has convinced her other half to go to the football so we can have a cosy night in

This thread has taken a bad turn. Glorious scenes.

 

[Last Summer]

Blimey, you're new to all this aren't you??

Take it from someone with experience, who can speak almost fluent Female, that "you can go if you want babe" translates roughly to "You go, and you're a dead man, and you'll come home to find all your trouser legs cut off and spread all over the front garden."

And that "we can't exactly go out and enjoy it" roughley translates to "STAY IN WITH ME, OR I'LL CUT YOUR TODGER OFF WITH A RUSTY BREADKNIFE YOU TW@T!!"

I have scars to prove all this. Mental and physical.

This man speaketh the truth!

DON'T FALL FOR IT!

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

she's having an affair

 

[Westdene Seagull]

does she take it up the arse?

There's always one romantic around to spoil a thread like this !

 

[Vicar!]

Could nominate the wife for 1990. Allowed to go for a couple of weeks to the World Cup with her 32 weeks pregnant with two children under three at home. Neighbours never spoke to me again. (No great loss)

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Would she let you give her a dirty sanchez?

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

No im pretty confidant she wont use it against me. (now thinking maybe i need too).

Just checked with William Hill's and they won't take my bet ... sorry you're doomed!

 

[SeagullSongs]

 

[Questions]

All this romantic talk reminds me of when I saw my beautiful intended walking down the aisle to meet me. My heart was pounding as she got nearer and nearer and then I learnt across and whispered in her ear, '' Get that trolley over here love, they`ve got crates of Stella half price today''

 

[Pat McCrotch]

"you can go if you want babe"

THAT old chestnut

 

[Simster]

does she take it up the arse?

She hadn't even tried it until I popped round last week apparently.

 

[terryberry1]

THAT old chestnut

 

[looney]

I have without a shadow of doubt have the best girlfriend in the world. She is just about to have our baby and obviously its valentines day tomorrow and she is insisting i go and watch the match tomorrow.

I couldn't believe my ears when i heard the words "you can go if you want babe" "we cant exactly go out and enjoy it". I played it cool and said "no babe i will stay with you" but she insisted i go and enjoy myself.

Thanks [MENTION=20206]terryberry1[/MENTION] for the ticket.

You just sold your soul there.