2012 World's Hardest Creature Competition, Semi Final Croc vs Hippo vs Mamba

[Mellotron]

I've been impressed with the black mamba this year. It's been a breakout season for it. However I don't think it's got enough to beat the croc which has a ridiculously impressive list of attributes, both defensive and offensive. The croc is natures own elite S.A.S. I think the hippo could find itself in real trouble here and this could be its last hurrah as a serious player.

But again, you're going by the definition that something mega powerful IS hard. Which isn't all there is to it, as a huge bloke beating up a little bloke ISN'T hard. An Orca EATING a Honey Badger WOULDN'T be hard.

The Honey Badger's fans make the point that it does all the things it does, while basically being a lovable furry little shit. That's WHY it's hard.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Lets be honest, the crocodile is a shambles, dry humped by eccentric Australians, defeated by elastic bands, I'm not surprised it spends most of it's time pretending to be a LOG, just out of EMBARASSMENT.

More propaganda from one of the honeybitches hype-meisters. Come to the table with more than meaningless pot shots.

 

[Simster]

But again, you're going by the definition that something mega powerful IS hard. Which isn't all there is to it, as a huge bloke beating up a little bloke ISN'T hard. An Orca EATING a Honey Badger WOULDN'T be hard.

The Honey Badger's fans make the point that it does all the things it does, while basically being a lovable furry little shit. That's WHY it's hard.

However, an orca would EAT a great white shark sized honey badger if it wanted. And I doubt your silly little hormonal puppy would have the GUMPTION or indeed time to have a crack at the orca's impressive 5 foot COCK, unlike an idiot lion and it's dangly knackers.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

But again, you're going by the definition that something mega powerful IS hard. Which isn't all there is to it, as a huge bloke beating up a little bloke ISN'T hard. An Orca EATING a Honey Badger WOULDN'T be hard.

The Honey Badger's fans make the point that it does all the things it does, while basically being a lovable furry little shit. That's WHY it's hard.

No. If the croc was the same size as the honeybadger it'd still be as hard as f***. It's hard because it has bullet proof skin(nothing to do with it's size); because it takes on large animals it's own size; because it can fight in water or on land(nothing to do with size); because it has tremendous speed(despite its size);because it has night vision eyes so can see in the daytime and at night(nothing to do with size); because it can survive for a year without food(nothing to do with size. Which, incidentally enabled it to exist long before any other competitor in this tournament and will allow it to exist long after all the other species have become extinct);because it has-pound for pound(and outright)-the most powerful bite in the world; because it has its own special killing move(nothing to do with size); it continually regrows it's teeth so that its main weapon is constantly at maximum dangerousness(nothing to do with size).

It's simply very, very hard.

 

[Mellotron]

No. If the croc was the same size as the honeybadger it'd still be as hard as f***. It's hard because it has bullet proof skin(nothing to do with it's size); because it takes on large animals it's own size; because it can fight in water or on land(nothing to do with size); because it has tremendous speed(despite its size);because it has night vision eyes so can see in the daytime and at night(nothing to do with size); because it can survive for a year without food(nothing to do with size. Which, incidentally enabled it to exist long before any other competitor in this tournament and will allow it to exist long after all the other species have become extinct);because it has-pound for pound(and outright)-the most powerful bite in the world; because it has its own special killing move(nothing to do with size); it continually regrows it's teeth so that its main weapon is constantly at maximum dangerousness(nothing to do with size).

It's simply very, very hard.

I wasn't just talking about SIZE, so that was a massive waste of time from you. My point is that the Croc is MASSIVELY tooled up, so it beating up other animals isn't very hard. It's EASY, if anything.

Whereas what the Honey Badger is ATTEMPTING to do is RIDICULOUS. That's why it's HARD.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

I wasn't just talking about SIZE, so that was a massive waste of time from you. My point is that the Croc is MASSIVELY tooled up, so it beating up other animals isn't very hard. It's EASY, if anything.

Whereas what the Honey Badger is ATTEMPTING to do is RIDICULOUS. That's why it's HARD.

So what you're saying is, the drunk twat in the pub car park swinging at anything that moves is harder than an s.a.s commando? O.K.

Plus most of the honeybadgers ridiculous deeds are just hype and myth. It eats poisonous snakes? Not that impressive when you realise its immune to poison. It attacks lions? No it doesn't it runs away from them. It only 'attacks' when its backed into a corner and only then so that it can create a gap to run away into. It eats genitals. Nope. Never been proven.

Anyway, lets leave the croc v honeybadger debate until the final!

 

[Silent Bob]

More propaganda from one of the honeybitches hype-meisters. Come to the table with more than meaningless pot shots.

Smear tactics and playing personalities are always a sign of desperation, I guess that goes double when the attempts are so feeble and transparent.

The honey badger isn't even in this round, for starters.

Secondly, you do ntohing to refute the cold hard facts.

That any threat a crocodile might pose could be nullified with an elastic band.

That there exists hours and hours of televeised footage of crocodiles being dry humped by a small Australian man.

That one of their main predatory tactics is impersonating wood.

I suggest you go away and have good think about what you've done.
Whether you want to pretend to be driftwood at the same time is your choice.

 

[Mellotron]

Facts are beating opinion here. Croc looking shaky.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Smear tactics and playing personalities are always a sign of desperation, I guess that goes double when the attempts are so feeble and transparent.

The honey badger isn't even in this round, for starters.

Secondly, you do ntohing to refute the cold hard facts.

That any threat a crocodile might pose could be nullified with an elastic band.

That there exists hours and hours of televeised footage of crocodiles being dry humped by a small Australian man.

That one of their main predatory tactics is impersonating wood.

I suggest you go away and have good think about what you've done.
Whether you want to pretend to be driftwood at the same time is your choice.

The elastic band has been done to death. It's meaningless unless you're going to claim that either:
a) one of the oother animals has an elastic band on them, or

b) the means to make one or something similar, or

c)the dexterity necessary to put one on the snout of a crocodile.

What has steve irwin got to do with anything? He was highly trained and experienced in dealing with dangerous animals. An average human would have no chance of subduing the croc.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Facts are beating opinion here. .

The croc's winning?

 

[Mellotron]

The elastic band has been done to death. It's meaningless unless you're going to claim that either:
a) one of the oother animals has an elastic band on them, or

b) the means to make one or something similar, or

c)the dexterity necessary to put one on the snout of a crocodile.
.

IT'S NOT A FIGHT BETWEEN THE ANIMALS. We've done this to death.

 

[Simster]

I've gone snake. Ridiculously scary and hard, but the croc really has every chance here.

I think the step up in class will be too much for the hippo to be honest, and will rue the last minute mamba equaliser.

 

[Mellotron]

The croc's winning?

You've spoken to a mod, have you?

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

IT'S NOT A FIGHT BETWEEN THE ANIMALS. We've done this to death.

I KNOW. I was answering the meaningless point of an elastic band being able to shut a croc's mouth.

 

[Mellotron]

If an elastic band disarmed a Honey Badger, I would admit that as a weakness.

I admit that he sometimes (not always, which is mental when you think about it) runs away from LIONS (not exactly the worst thing to do when you're his SIZE).

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

You've spoken to a mod, have you?

It was a cheeky bit of selective editing!

 

[Mellotron]

I KNOW. I was answering the meaningless point of an elastic band being able to shut a croc's mouth.

It's not a meaningless point at all. an Elastic band can shut a croc's mouth. That's a point against the Croc. I've also seen a Croc's nose used to PRESS A DOORBELL. Again, that's a point against the Croc.

The more you say things like "ah, but it has bulletproof skin!" that makes the above points EVEN FUNNIER, and make it seem LESS hard.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

If an elastic band disarmed a Honey Badger, I would admit that as a weakness.

I admit that he sometimes (not always, which is mental when you think about it) runs away from LIONS (not exactly the worst thing to do when you're his SIZE).

It's only a weakness if it can be capitalised on.

I'm off to bed now, I hope the anti croc smear campaign isn't too virulent...

 

[Fred Oliver - Legend]

Tough call this one, leaning towards BM, and good videos to help decide?!

 

[Mellotron]

It's only a weakness if it can be capitalised on.

I'm off to bed now, I hope the anti croc smear campaign isn't too virulent...

Eh? This is about who is the hardest. A croc CAN be disarmed by an elastic band. That is fact. It doesn't matter who is or isn't doing the disarming, because it's not a literal fight. The above FACT is a FACT.