Search results

I think your 'colonial' friend is taking this all too literally. Sometimes, with a joke, you just need to go along for the Ryde.

Couldn't ukraine them in?

He only ever looks up to gaze dumbly at Fox News on the tv, then back down to his grease-smeared thumbs slapping moronically onto the keys of his Twitter feed, so no risk of that happening I'm afraid.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You bunch of pessimists. I've heard he's recovering well, and is due to start some light running in April 2023.

Cracking article by Jonathan Lieu in The Guardian this morning: Well done, everyone: we did it. They said it wasn’t possible. They said it wasn’t safe. They said it would be tactless to start up one of the world’s most lucrative sports leagues while thousands are dying. They said it wouldn’t...

In a month's time, I'll be just over a fortnight away from the flight I've booked back to the UK on July 17th. After nearly 4 months apart from my wife and kids that's all I'll be thinking about. Though maybe a bit of football too. And possibly Sausage MacMuffins.

He's just got the wrong game – it was actually Shroozberrie Town.

Minor member of royal family 'unexpectedly' drops in on charity Zoom call. People queue for 18 miles for drive-thru MacDonalds. Rich businessman/celebrity still furloughs his staff even though he's worth £80m, boo, hiss etc. Restaurant releases recipe for how to make its world-famous pancakes...

Yeah, I was going to nominate that - even though I’ve never actually seen it, I’m aware of the premise (filmed over 12 years, using the same actor as he actually grows up from 6 to 18 in real life). Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Snap. For example, I got this SMS from someone at 23:07 last Tuesday. I have a suspicion that alcohol might just possibly have been involved. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It’s because he’s only ever cared about two things in his entire life.* 1. Jolly well beating everyone else to become the Prime Minister. 2. Having his name forever in the history books as having been Prime Minister. It’s that damn pesky bit in the middle that’s causing all the problems...

Talk that the PL are going to set Sept 12/13 as a definite date for starting the 2020/21 season. That would confirm the 'window' for completing this season, and – critically – mean that if it started and then had to stop again, would probably never get completed. Which could potentially be...

He did indeed put that fiish into the net. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Also helps move 'a certain other story' off the front pages...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Exactly. Why doesn’t a journo pick him up on this. If you’re in doubt whether you are able to safely drive, you go for a modest drive round the block. You don’t pack your 4 year old in the back seat and go for a nice jolly day out, with two stops at a river and a woodland. Sent from my...

It’s all the nasty media’s fault. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He’s just popped out for a drive to see his family, back soon. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Forget the BoJo/Cummings debacle, and indeed all the strains of recent weeks. It's a Bank Holiday. The sun is shining. Take your morning coffee out into the garden, sit back and chill out... It's going to be a better day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXuNEdMQtO0