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If anybody wants to buy genuine, original and legitimate FM6 games for £15 each, pm me and I will send you payment details. A local Sussex football team has just been given a significant quantity as reward for providing the makers with squad details etc, and there is no way they will all sell...

They're going to need a hell of a run to match last season given that they are currently 4th from bottom of the Conference South... (although also only 8 points off the play-offs.) 1 Sutton Utd 11 5 0 1 13 3 3 0 2 9 4 15 24 2 Histon 11 4 1 1 10 8 3 1 1 7...

Big game in the Conference South at the Dripping Pan this evening - 7:45 kick-off and Harveys on the terrace !!!

These aren't pictures of me doing stupid things, but of other people doing stupid things. http://www.gophergas.com/funstuff/womenlivelonger2.htm

My flat mate smugly gave me the big 'So sorry to see you heading off to work on a Sunday afternoon, you loser' spiel as I left him, settled in front of the Big Match with his toasties and four-pack, and headed off to clock on at Casey Jones. Unfortunately for him a couple of JWs were just about...

Gordon Bank

Verbatim from yesterday's Sussex Express Parish Pump Falmer section:- FLOWER FESTIVAL: We are hoping for lots of visitors to Falmer this weekend and are hoping for fine weather. The flower festival takes place tomorrow, Saturday, from 10am and Sunday from noon. Falmer welcomes all visitors to...

When you drunkenly clamber onboard, she reaches behind you, grabs your buttocks, pulls, and says, "You're in, love."

Password is bennyboy to play Australia. Then twenty for a 20 over slog.

On Saturday at Carshalton, Lewes players were again subjected to monkey noises, apparently from somebody wearing a stewards bib. A formal report has been submitted by the refereeing officials that witnessed it. If anybody still thinks that overt racism has been conquered in football, please...

Afraid so - although the imposing Toby Jinadu on loan from Aldershot has made a very positive early impression, including an equaliser against Bognor on his home debut.

He doesn't need to go bust - he just needs to disagree with the Russian authorities about his income (which is arguably indefinable and a political not an economic value) and he could be in Russian tax avoidance prison along with other privatisation billionaires like Mikhail Khodorkovsky of Yukos.

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time - why not ? Has Mount Kilimanjaro decided to travel to Europe or Asia over the festive period then ?

Won Conference South with Lewes by 1 pt in 1st season; beat Swansea City 3-1 in the FA Cup 2nd Round but then lost 4-0 at home to Portsmouth.

If he comes to Lewes tomorrow he'll probably be escorted in by a couple of stewards...

Just the one - yours by the sound of it. Good luck.

Just popping home but must congratulate Commercial Square for their effigy at the head of the Grand Procession through Lewes tonight: A 30ft tall footballer in Hull City colours sponsored by 'The Swan' on the back name JAGGS No.2 in his right hand throttling a huge seagull wearing the...

Alone here in the kitchen, I feel there's something missing, I beg for some forgiveness, but begging's not my business Squeeze

It's £8 entrance - Lewes have never put up their prices even for the big FA Vase and FA Cup games recently. To be fair, although B&HA promised to bring a full strength team, it seems unlikely that the starting line-up will be as strong as Saturday's, say. Mark McGhee said: "The two-week break...

The Lewes posties form a significant core of support at Lewes FC and have been very helpful to the club (leafleting) in the past. Perhaps if you asked very nicely they could include an extra letter to every household for free. Just a thought.