[Humour] Your best Karma stories

[LlcoolJ]

Similar story, recently a guy jumped on the train at Victoria and looked at myself and a few mates and said curtly "Where do you get off?" "Arundel", "Horsham" etc came the replies. "Right" said the guy "wake me at Horsham". Just as we'd estimated the beep beep to close the doors would start my mate shook him and shouted "Horsham mate", up he stumbled and just made the platform as the doors closed ..... at Crawley!

Ah, falling asleep karma. That reminds me....

Many years ago me and some mates were out clubbing. One of my mates had an annoying habit of picking up stragglers so when we all ended up back at someone's house, there was some random bloke who'd tagged along. He seemed alright at first, but the next day when we went to the local we started to realise that he probably wasn't used to the chemicals and lack of sleep as he started being a complete BELLEND. Long story short he managed to insult most of the women there and basically behave like a prize ****. He was on the verge of being told to F off when he calmed down, and promptly fell asleep.

Considering his twattery, much worse could have befallen him but, being a decent bunch, we restricted it to finding a bright yellow marker pen from behind the bar and writing "C**T" on his forehead in large letters.

We presumed we'd get some amusement from this after he woke up, until he'd go for a piss and see it in the mirror. However, after about an hour, he woke up, looked at his watch and said "Oh shit, I've got to be in Hillsborough in and hour!", promptly legged it out of the boozer and jumped on a bus......

 

[pearl]

Some of the karma stories on here are a bit disturbing to say the least, I was expecting next doors cat shat in the garden so you did the same in next doors garden and not the so happy when their intestines were last seen splattered up the wall.

Know what you mean, scary stuff!

Think you'll like this one ... a friend was sick of next door's cats using their garden as a toilet so they had a word. Cat owner unbothered, more or less said what I am supposed to do about it? Friend bought a high pitched scarer thing and it did the trick. No more stinky cat sh*t.

One sunny afternoon my friend was relaxing in their deckchair when a frazzled, tearful neighbour called over the fence pleading with them to get rid of the scarer.
'Why?' asked my friend
'Because my cats won't leave the house now and one has just had a wee over my classes homework (they are a teacher).
KARMA

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

This is very harsh I know; from my Navy Days.
As a gift prior to joining up in 78 I was given a Philishave electric razor by my Mum. After training I was drafted to HMS Osprey & was living in one of the blocks on Portland. One day I left my razor in the bathroom, went back to get it & it was gone. There was one guy in there who said he hadn't seen it.
The next day, when I was in the bathroom scraping my young boat race with a BIC special, this guy from the day before starts shaving with a Philishave razor, my ****er!
Of course he said it was his, & even though everybody believed me, this cocksure bell-end just brazened it out.

When the Falklands happened he was on HMS Glamorgan, hiding under the helicopter when it suffered a direct hit.

Harsh I know, but no one in the Navy likes a tea leaf!

The ultimate harsh but fair .... bet he was a pinky .... a weirded bunch.


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[smudge]

The ultimate harsh but fair .... bet he was a pinky .... a weirded bunch.


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Uncanny, you are correct!

 

[SeagullDubai]

During my school days,there was the nastiest low life scum piece of sh*t of a person I’ve ever met in my life.
‘Bully’ was the nicest thing you could say about him. He tortured and beat kids for no reason and unsurprisingly became a criminal as an adult.
So I have to admit I have a sense of joy and karma that he was convicted recently and sent away for a long stretch. And I truly hope he finds his time in prison as much a Hell as he put those poor young kids through, back in the 80s. He’s earned that payback.

I’m really not a vindictive nasty person. But I cannot find the words that would do that w&nker’s deeds any kind of justice.

Which school?

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[Jam The Man]

Secondary School was PCC

Which school?

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[Deportivo Seagull]

Uncanny, you are correct!

Was he a short arsed Geordie by any chance.


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[Hampden Park]

Was he a short arsed Geordie by any chance.


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he is after that 500lb bomb struck

 

[Triggaaar]

Got a detention off a boy (prefect) one year older than me for being 1 minute late. A year later he was dead (brain haemmorhage). The ****.

Seriously?

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

he is after that 500lb bomb struck

[emoji23] Quality ...


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[smudge]

Was he a short arsed Geordie by any chance.


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No, Ginger from Bristol as I remember.

 

[Aaron31]

This. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PFRdEUN240

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

No, Ginger from Bristol as I remember.

Ginger and a pinky ...... poor *******.


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[Deportivo Seagull]

No, Ginger from Bristol as I remember.

I’m pretty sure the guy I’m thinking on was on the Antrim.


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[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Seriously?

Indeed. And all the other Karma outcomes I alluded to. I am convinced there is a general karma rule that all ******** get it back in spades. Even the nasty bullies who seem to breeze through life with a massive wedge and spray tanned totty coming out of their ears. They have some shit or other eating them up that the rest of us don't see.

 

[Triggaaar]

Got a detention off a boy (prefect) one year older than me for being 1 minute late. A year later he was dead (brain haemmorhage). The ****.

Seriously?

Indeed. And all the other Karma outcomes I alluded to

I'm a bit shocked that NSC is seeing this as a good thing. Some young chap was a bit of a dick to you. Once. So as karma, he died. And that's supposed to be a good thing

The gif in this thread with the guy having a plant pot knock his head is a bit more my level.

 

[portlock seagull]

Some of the karma stories on here are a bit disturbing to say the least, I was expecting next doors cat shat in the garden so you did the same in next doors garden and not the so happy when their intestines were last seen splattered up the wall.

You do realise that people don’t control Karma? If something really bad happens to said person then who are we to argue with the gods?!!

 

[portlock seagull]

On arriving at my first posting in Aldershot after basic training I'd been told we could bring cars (something we couldn't do in basic) and as I lived in Horsham I thought it a good idea to do so. After a couple of weeks there was a spate of break ins and someone had smashed my car window and lifted my radio / cassette job.

A couple of days later the Police left a message to say they'd recovered a load of gear and my radio was amongst it. When I went to collect it I was told the two lads responsible were caught and, I guessed, on bail. Only problem was a night or so before they'd driven away from a burglary and rammed their car into a tree killing them both instantly.

There are a couple of other incidents where people that have wronged me have come a cropper but I'll leave that for another day.

Oh well...

 

[swindonseagull]

There was this older guy at school who used to take the mickey out of my surname.
Obviously I did stick up for myself in ways of the dark side.
But the karma kicked in, when this gimp started to lose his hair, whilst still at school, eventually having the mother of all comb overs.
Boy did he look a tw@t

At least you were in the RAF and not the Navy
Able Seaman ..........!!!!

 

[Eeyore]

Got a detention off a boy (prefect) one year older than me for being 1 minute late. A year later he was dead (brain haemmorhage). The ****.

I think someone's hacked your account.