[Music] Worst song lyrics

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

As a point of order, on how many songs that Ian Gillan brought to life with his exceptional lyrical skills were there: 'blind men', sometimes 'standing very still', and often 'on a hill'? I do apologise to Purple fans but you will never be able to listen to the Paice Gillan Glover Lord Blackmore outfit again without flinching. Fact.

My heart goes out to [MENTION=494]Kosh[/MENTION], in particular, for my thoughtless revelation. But you can't avoid "the line that's drawn between good and bad". And the next line is?

 

[studio150]

Gone to see the Rollers
Got a ticket for the Bay City Rollers
And everything will be outta sight
When everyone's distracted at the Rollers show tonight


Not one of Nick Lowe's finest moments

 

[Live by the sea]

The Duran Brothers

"People stare and cross the road from me
And jungle drums they all clear the way for me
Can you read my mind, can you see in the snow
And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door
Don't say you're easy on me, you're about as easy as a nuclear war"

Hey don’t pick a fight with Simon Le Bon’s writing style . Duran Duran are one of the worlds greatest bands .

 

[Live by the sea]

My vote is most heavy metal songs , because you can’t actually hear the lyrics , cos all they do is shout and scream to hide the fact they have no musical talent..

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Claudia Brucken, I love her, a legend and still going strong.

Cracking.

Apologies to the OP for derailing this thread but this has to be posted. First time I heard it I said "What? No, NOOOO! **** me, no. Just . . . .no.". My ex wife RUSHED for the off button. But...it has something really delicious about it. The African guy 'rapping' is the icing on the cake. You cannot accuse Austrians of lacking sincerity. I posted this on the 'covers that smash the originals' thread and possibly 'covers that should never have been made' thread as well.

This track signifies the mad ending of the glorious colourful glamorous 80s, just before the descent into grunge and new but different delights. Oh well.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtwUJ2kTCdY

Edit Thomas Leer did the music for this. He of Private Plane (look it up - a cracker)

 

[Scappa]

I just ordered sushi from Japan
Now your bitch wanna kick it, Jackie Chan

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

For me it's a toss-up between the pretentious gibberish that is Bohemian Rhapsody and this little gem from the whiny shits that are Supertramp

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot

 

[WATFORD zero]

Flo and Eddie, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman. Did backing vocals on Electric Warrior (T Rex), and for Frank Zappa. There is a live version of (I think the title is) 'Happy Together' that they do as a finale/segue to a Zappa song, and it is eye wateringly beautiful.

I don't believe it !

Harry talking about an track I've actually heard



(8.20)

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I don't believe it !

Harry talking about an track I've actually heard



(8.20)

My roots are deep and long.

Make sure you have a listen to that Ofdream track that I started that 'music that puts a smile on your face' thread with. I would be genuinely interest to know if you can see the same euphoric thing that gets me when I listen to it

 

[papajaff]

When the whistle blows and the fans cheer,
You can hear that roar from the Palace Pier

 

[Gwylan]

For me it's a toss-up between the pretentious gibberish that is Bohemian Rhapsody and this little gem from the whiny shits that are Supertramp

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot

Oh yes, I forgot that one. For some weird reason, Supertramp were incredibly popular for a couple of years - The Logical Song is another lyrical horror

 

[hart's shirt]

“Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town.” (Thin Lizzy, ‘Jailbreak’)

That'll be the jail then.


“Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.” (The Clash, ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go?’)

You should go.

 

[marlowe]

The band Yes are one of my guilty pleasures. Singing along to many of their songs often ended up with me thinking "why am I singing such gibberish?"

For example "Roundabout"

"I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley

The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley"

......and so it continues in a similar vein

 

[wellquickwoody]

Toto - Africa

Sure as Killimajaro rises like an empress above the Serengetiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Never actually decided if abysmal, or a work of genius, oh well.

 

[Jahooli]

This is from the B side of Lily the Pink the second part was spoken....

“The Buttons of Your Mind”

You could say you'd see me soon
But you're as silent as the moon
You could say let's start again
But you think of other men

And I wonder if I ever knew
The more elusive inner you
For the buttons of your mind
Were difficult to find
And my fingers far too clumsy

 

[Icy Gull]

I love the record and always have, but yes the lyrics are rubbish.

But there's a reason for that. The Turtles wanted to do more interesting and experimental stuff, as they saw the Beatles and Stones doing, but their record company insisted on them churning out more happy poppy stuff. So they deliberately churned out some really cheesy rubbish, which I think personally is so bad it's funny.

Two of them got their wish when the band broke up by joining Frank Zappa and the Mothers Of Invention

Edit, should read the whole thread before posting, HWT beat me to it

 

[el punal]

The band Yes are one of my guilty pleasures. Singing along to many of their songs often ended up with me thinking "why am I singing such gibberish?"

For example "Roundabout"

"I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley

The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley"

......and so it continues in a similar vein

On one of the prog rock appreciation episodes on TV one of the famous prog rock boys (Rick Wakeman, maybe, or similar) said that the lyrics were bollocks (my description!) and that you could make any track last ages. Pretentious, moi?

Still used to love prog rock though - “Close to the edge, close by the r-i-v-e-r.” anyone?

 

[lawros left foot]

Stay away from my window
Stay away from my back door too
Disconnect the telephone line
Relax baby and draw that blind
Kick off your shoes and sit right down
Loosen off that pretty French gown
Let me pour you a good long drink
Ooh baby don't you hesitate cause
Tonight's the night
It's gonna be alright
'Cause I love you girl
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now
Come on angel my hearts on fire
Don't deny your man's desire
You'd be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside
Tonight's the night
It's gonna be alright
'Cause I love you girl
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now
Don't say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
The secret is about to unfold
Upstairs before the night's too old
Tonight's the night
It's gonna be alright
'Cause I love you woman
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now.

Rod Stewart.

It’s a bit pervy, isn’t it?
Does the 75 year old Rod still sing this live?

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

Plenty of dubious 70s lyrics similar to Rod’s song above eg Oh Carol by Smokie included the following summary of the protagonists burgeoning relationship

She said I’m not 16 if you know what I mean, so we sat and we talked for a while
But when we finally kissed you know she didn’t resist and I must say she did it with style!

 

[Poojah]

For six months or so I've been (not that actively) working on a Youtube playlist with songs that more or less everyone has heard, for good or bad.

One day of listening to all Billboard 100 hits from 1994, I ran into "Life" by Des'ree, I song I had heard as a kid but only remembered the chorus. I could only listen for about fifteen seconds before I had to stop the song because of its "wtf" first verse.

I'm afraid of the dark,
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,
Oh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

You can see the equally meaningless video here:


... that said, I sort of enjoyed how bad it was, and I know you got more. Bring it.

How bizarre. I was listening to some 90s tunes on Spotify yesterday to remind myself of my youth when times were simpler. I heard this song for what must’ve been the first time 20 years when this verse absolutely leapt out at me in a “how the fúck did that get signed off?” kind of way. I mean, rhyming ghost with toast - brilliant.

I opened this thread simply to nominate the song only to find, well, you’d beaten me to it.