[Music] Worst song lyrics

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Plenty of dubious 70s lyrics similar to Rod’s song above eg Oh Carol by Smokie included the following summary of the protagonists burgeoning relationship

She said I’m not 16 if you know what I mean, so we sat and we talked for a while
But when we finally kissed you know she didn’t resist and I must say she did it with style!

70s lyrics don't come much creepier than 'Clair' by Gilbert O'Sullivan *shudder*

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Flo and Eddie, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman. Did backing vocals on Electric Warrior (T Rex), and for Frank Zappa. There is a live version of (I think the title is) 'Happy Together' that they do as a finale/segue to a Zappa song, and it is eye wateringly beautiful.

We're they at one point known as Phlorescent Leech and Eddie, or something similar?

 

[marlowe]

We're they at one point known as Phlorescent Leech and Eddie, or something similar?

That's the name they used when they joined the Mothers of Invention because contractual obligations imposed earlier in their career prevented them from using their real names in another musical context.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

We're they at one point known as Phlorescent Leech and Eddie, or something similar?

Flo is short for Phlorescent Leech, and Wikipedia is my friend

 

[lawros left foot]

How bizarre. I was listening to some 90s tunes on Spotify yesterday to remind myself of my youth when times were simpler. I heard this song for what must’ve been the first time 20 years when this verse absolutely leapt out at me in a “how the fúck did that get signed off?” kind of way. I mean, rhyming ghost with toast - brilliant.

I opened this thread simply to nominate the song only to find, well, you’d beaten me to it.

More from this legendary awful lyric

'm a superstitious girl,
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail

Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You want to fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon


Why a rabbits tail? It’s a rabbits foot for luck, not the tail.
And, it’s never been that lucky for the rabbit who lost his foot.
She wrote the second verse highlighted while watching the evening news, when Branson was doing his round the World balloon trip.

 

[lawros left foot]

I was outside the one stop
When I saw her in the corner
And I didn't like what I see

Little does she know that I know that she knows
That I know shes two-timin me

She was sharing her spin dryer with a guy in a tie-dye
When she saw my reflection in the chrome
I knew that shed seen me cause she dropped her bikini
The one that I got her in Rome
When she finished her laundry she was all in a quandary
And made it for the street like a hare
Her escape was so urgent, she forgot her detergent
And dropped all her clean underwear



The best (worst?) two verses from ‘Little does she know’
The Kursall Flyers.

I can’t decide if these are genius, or terrible.

 

[Icy Gull]

70s lyrics don't come much creepier than 'Clair' by Gilbert O'Sullivan *shudder*

We appear to be going slightly off topic but these lyrics by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap were definitely of the time that saw so many DJ’s being paedophiles




Young girl
Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You're much too young, girl

[Verse 1]
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth

 

[Perfidious Albion]

How come some really great performers and song writers feature in this thread, no accounting for taste, I guess.
It is not only the rock era that has spawned dodgy lyrics, how about this from the 1940s ...The Merry Macs

"Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?"

 

[Swansman]

Franke Smith introduced the "izza"-way of... talking, later popularised by Snoop Dogg, with this slightly totally useless song.

After a very exciting lyrical journey into the concept of buses and other means of transportation, we for no apparent reason land in this:

Hizzey, gizzirls! y'izzall hizzave t' mizzove izzout the wizzay sizzo the gizzuys can plizzay bizzasketbizzal
Izzsay whizzat? nizzo yizzou izzain't
Y'izzall bizzetter mizzove!
Izzsay whizzat? willze illzain't millzovin'
Shillzu-gillza! milzza nilzza bilzzaby!
Willze illzare plizzayin' dizzouble dizzutch! dizzouble dizzutch! dizzouble dizzutch!
Willze illzare plizzayin' dizzouble dizzutch! dizzouble dizzutch! dizzouble dizzutch!
Millze gillzot sillzomebillzody plillzays dillzouble dillzzutch
Whozzo?
My gizzirl!
Brillzing her izzin!
Izzo kizzay!
Izzall rizzight
Izzo kizzay!
Izzall rizzight! nizzow wilzee wilzill zillzee

 

[smartferndale]

Loved Pet Sounds waited donkeys years for Smile. Pick one of several tracks Vegetables or Surfs up for example. What are they all about.

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

One word....Zabadak, by Dave Dee, Dozy & the rest.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

We appear to be going slightly off topic but these lyrics by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap were definitely of the time that saw so many DJ’s being paedophiles




Young girl
Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You're much too young, girl

[Verse 1]
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Not just a one off either. This is their song 'lady will power'

Did no one ever tell you
The facts of life?
Well, there's so much you have to learn
And I would gladly teach you
If I could only reach you
And get your loving in return



And there's 'the cops are coming' by the heavy metal kids. I think we had a thread on inappropriate lyrics recently so I'll leave it there

 

[DurringtonGull]

Flo and Eddie, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman. Did backing vocals on Electric Warrior (T Rex), and for Frank Zappa. There is a live version of (I think the title is) 'Happy Together' that they do as a finale/segue to a Zappa song, and it is eye wateringly beautiful.

They also provided backing vocals on Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart

 

[Weststander]

A complete pile of



ou're my
You're my favorite waste of time
You're my
You're my favorite waste of time

Here I am
I'm playin' day dreamin' fool again
You're my favorite game

And you are the one
Whose got my head in the clouds above
You're the one that I love

And you're my
Honey, you're my favorite waste of time
You're my
Said you're my favorite waste of time

I don't care
If being with you is meaningless
And ridiculous

If it's wrong or right
I've got to give you my love tonight
And tomorrow night

'Cause you're my
Honey, you're my favorite waste of time
You're my
Said you're my favorite waste of time

Ooh, you're my
Honey, you're my favorite waste of time
Yeah, you're my
Said you're my favorite waste of time

You're my
Yeah, you're my favorite waste of time
I said, my
Yeah, you're my favorite waste of time
You're my

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

“Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town.” (Thin Lizzy, ‘Jailbreak’)

That'll be the jail then.


“Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double.” (The Clash, ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go?’)

You should go.

“People are people” - unquestionable logic from the Basildon boys.

 

[jakarta]

I was outside the one stop
When I saw her in the corner
And I didn't like what I see

Little does she know that I know that she knows
That I know shes two-timin me

She was sharing her spin dryer with a guy in a tie-dye
When she saw my reflection in the chrome
I knew that shed seen me cause she dropped her bikini
The one that I got her in Rome
When she finished her laundry she was all in a quandary
And made it for the street like a hare
Her escape was so urgent, she forgot her detergent
And dropped all her clean underwear



The best (worst?) two verses from ‘Little does she know’
The Kursall Flyers.

I can’t decide if these are genius, or terrible.

Genius lyrics - Kursalls definitive one hit wonders, took me almost 40 years to find out where the Kursall was (Sarfend innit?)

 

[GT49er]

I was outside the one stop
When I saw her in the corner
And I didn't like what I see

Little does she know that I know that she knows
That I know shes two-timin me

She was sharing her spin dryer with a guy in a tie-dye
When she saw my reflection in the chrome
I knew that shed seen me cause she dropped her bikini
The one that I got her in Rome
When she finished her laundry she was all in a quandary
And made it for the street like a hare
Her escape was so urgent, she forgot her detergent
And dropped all her clean underwear



The best (worst?) two verses from ‘Little does she know’
The Kursall Flyers.

I can’t decide if these are genius, or terrible.

Kursaal Flyers you say? Genius then. Some lovely off-the-wall lyrics.

After the Kursaals, the (much under-rated) drummer Will Birch formed a rather transient band called The Records whose quirky lyrics (and decent music, of the 70s 'Pub Rock' style, but beautifully done) deserved more recognition - but wrong place, wrong time.
'Heather and Hell' - two ladies who might cringe a bit at their portrayal in song. Probably from Essex though ......................

 

[Whitechapel]

I seem to recall posting some of the dodgy lyrics (to say the least) by Anal C*nt a while back and got into trouble. Given that I recently got an infraction point for some other backfiring comedy, I'll leave it to the curious to explore this reprehensible ouvre.

Their song names and lyrics always reminded me of a 14 year old trying to impress his mates by being as edgy as possible. Any band who names a song ‘You're Pregnant So I Kicked You in the Stomach’ is trying way too hard.

However, in the middle of their career they released an album called ‘Picnic of Love’ which contained a bunch of acoustic ballades called things like ‘I wanna grow old with you’. All sung in a horrible falsetto.

Now that’s funny.

 

[hart's shirt]

Just heard it now on BBC 4 which shows old TOTP shows on Friday evenings.

ABC's That Was Then But This Is Now

"Can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble"