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Wife taking your name?

Wife + you = New last name???

  • Yes, I would hope she takes my name

    Votes: 51 60.7%
  • Up to her

    Votes: 30 35.7%
  • Would actively discourage it

    Votes: 3 3.6%

  • Total voters
    84


John Byrne

New member
Jun 18, 2007
768
Would you expect your fiance to take your name if you got married. I voiced recently that I would not expect my future wife to and in fact would actively discourage it. For some reason my old man got really arsey about this. Weird.

More like she wears the trousers in the relationship and you're to scared to disagree with her if she doesn't want to take your name.
 




Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,884
The fact remains that your surname denotes which family you belong to. It's not about being patronised. You either keep your father's surname (or maybe in your case grandfather's name) or take your husband's name.
To me, when I married, I was entering a new family and therefore took a new name.

Yorkie you're a dinosaur! (in attitude not age btw!), no one 'belongs' to anyone else in this world! Next you'll be telling us you make your husband's sandwiches for work because it is your wifely duty.

:angry:
 


Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
Yorkie you're a dinosaur! (in attitude not age btw!), no one 'belongs' to anyone else in this world! Next you'll be telling us you make your husband's sandwiches for work because it is your wifely duty.

:angry:


my wife does

:blush::blush::blush:
 




Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

Interesting thought. If that were true, then logically, both parties should actually be changing their name to the husband's mother's maiden name. Very weird - but also, in a strange way, fair? BOTH people would then be changing...
 








Il Duce

Sussex 'till I die
Aug 19, 2006
762
NW8
I think the practice of using both surnames to create a double barreled name is pretty sad. I went to a school with the daughters Mr Ford and Ms. Brown. Okay you you have tedious surnames don't compound it by using two dull names to make a really pompous one.

The one thing that is worse than that is when people make up a double barrel surname. I know a couple who spent ages coming up with the first part of a double barrel surname and they both changed their surnames. So pathetic. I won't name and shame on here but their surname ended up something like Winklebum-Smith. So gay.

As to whether I would want any future wife to take my surname, I absolutely would. To me it's part of getting married. And they have to get married in a church. And we are NOT bringing up children in London!!!!!!!!!!!!
 




Shegull

New member
Jul 7, 2003
1,645
On a Bed of Roses
Would you expect your fiance to take your name if you got married. I voiced recently that I would not expect my future wife to and in fact would actively discourage it. For some reason my old man got really arsey about this. Weird.

Thats probably because of the old fashion views long ago that the family name would die out as Tedebear quite rightly so. People years ago (despite what they would say about not caring whether it was a boy or girl) always were pleased when the first born was a boy to carry on the family name. Do you have any brothers.
 


tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,117
In my computer
Yorkie you're a dinosaur! (in attitude not age btw!), no one 'belongs' to anyone else in this world! Next you'll be telling us you make your husband's sandwiches for work because it is your wifely duty.

:angry:


I don't think she is at all - I do the same thing - I'm happy/proud and wanted to have my husbands name, and I do like fact that we belong together and me belonging to him. Its probably not really representative of what society thinks these days but its the way I am and the way I feel and I'm certainly not a dinosaur in the way I think....

I certainly think that peoples need to be more individual and the loss of the "family" has a lot to do with many of society's issues - sort of eroding the family structure as it once was...
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,769
Chandlers Ford
We could solve this whole argument by just adopting the Icelandic model, where there are no surnames at all.

Every boy takes his father's christian name as his second name, and every girl her mother's.

ie. If Peter Christiansson and Elin Marisdottir, have two children Gudmundur and Bjork, they will take neither previous 'surname', but are Gudmundur Petersson and Bjork Elinsdottir.

Crazy people.
 




Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
We could solve this whole argument by just adopting the Icelandic model, where there are no surnames at all.

Every boy takes his father's christian name as his second name, and every girl her mother's.

ie. If Peter Christiansson and Elin Marisdottir, have two children Gudmundur and Bjork, they will take neither previous 'surname', but are Gudmundur Petersson and Bjork Elinsdottir.

Crazy people.

Only people who eat puffin 24/7 could come up with something like that.
 


Interesting thought. If that were true, then logically, both parties should actually be changing their name to the husband's mother's maiden name. Very weird - but also, in a strange way, fair? BOTH people would then be changing...

I don't think that works logically. The husband's mother's maiden name would have been been changed on marriage to the maiden name of her husband's mother.

The point I was making was that when Mr A marries Miss B, he might be looking for someone prepared to call herself Mrs A. The only person he has previously known as Mrs A is his mother.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,769
Chandlers Ford
Only people who eat puffin 24/7 could come up with something like that.

I think living in darkness 4 months of the year contributes as well. I love the people in Iceland. I'm there a fair bit for work and they can't do enough for you. the girls are stunning too.

But yes, they can be a little odd.
 




Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
Or paternal grandmother. Or any paternal aunts.
 


tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,117
In my computer
I think living in darkness 4 months of the year contributes as well. I love the people in Iceland. I'm there a fair bit for work and they can't do enough for you. the girls are stunning too.

But yes, they can be a little odd.

Would that explain Bjorks affinity for going out only dressed in a swan? :laugh:
 




hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,769
Chandlers Ford
Or Grandmother.

Or fit aunts

Or fit sisters-in-law. [dodgy ground obviously]
 




Starry

Captain Of The Crew
Oct 10, 2004
6,733
my wife makes my sandwiches as well. but she would do that whether she had my surname or her maiden name. she is nice like that.

i think the chinese and russians do something funky like the icelandic with names. and somewhere in the world just join the two together so mr smith and mrs jones become mr and mrs smithjones not double barrelled, all one word. somewhere like belize i think.

the russians just add ova and ovich or something.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,769
Chandlers Ford
But surely when the Smithjones' son marries nice little Miss Johnsonthomas from down the road, they'll become Mr and Mrs Smithjonesjohnsonthomas, and then when their kid marries little Freddie Wilsonrogersmarshallrankin then they'd become Mr and Mrs Smithjonesjohnsonthomaswilsonrogersmarshallrankin?

Not sure that would work!
 


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