Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Wife taking your name?

Wife + you = New last name???

  • Yes, I would hope she takes my name

    Votes: 51 60.7%
  • Up to her

    Votes: 30 35.7%
  • Would actively discourage it

    Votes: 3 3.6%

  • Total voters
    84


Yorkie

Sussex born and bred
Jul 5, 2003
32,367
dahn sarf
My missus didn't and it's fine by me. It's an outdated tradition. I'm much more bothered about my unborn baby having my surname.

Surely that is the same thing. The baby grows up and looks at it's birth certificate and says why is Mum called Jones and you're called Smith.
It looks much more like a family when the Mum and Dad are Smith and the baby is also Smith (names just taken for example)
 






Skaville

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
10,235
Queens Park
Surely that is the same thing. The baby grows up and looks at it's birth certificate and says why is Mum called Jones and you're called Smith.
It looks much more like a family when the Mum and Dad are Smith and the baby is also Smith (names just taken for example)


Not really. The baby won't have to change it's name. I'm not really bothered about appearances and I hope my child won't be either. It's parents will be on their birth certificate and those people being together are what matters.
 




Yorkie

Sussex born and bred
Jul 5, 2003
32,367
dahn sarf
Not really. The baby won't have to change it's name. I'm not really bothered about appearances and I hope my child won't be either. It's parents will be on their birth certificate and those people being together are what matters.

But if your wife registers the baby's birth it will be her surname for the child not yours.
 




Munkfish

Well-known member
May 1, 2006
12,090
I think you should if you was then to have kids what name would you expect them to take?
 


But if your wife registers the baby's birth it will be her surname for the child not yours.
Eh?

In the old days, no surname was specifically registered on a birth certificate. It was even possible to register a birth without a forename.

What was registered was:-

Where and when born
Name (if any)
Sex
Name and surname of father
Name, surname and maiden surname of mother
Occupation of father
Signature, description and residence of informant
When registered
Signature of registrar


These days, the surname of the child is whatever is registered on the certificate.
The questions asked are these:-

Child:-

date and place of birth; if the birth is one of twins, triplets etc, the time of each child's birth will also be needed
sex of the child
the forename(s) and surname in which it is intended that the child will be brought up

Father (if his details are to be entered in the register):-

forename(s) and surname
date and place of birth
occupation at the time of the child's birth or, if not employed at that time, the last occupation

Mother:-

forename(s) and surname
maiden surname if the mother is, or has been, married
date and place of birth
occupation at the time of the child's birth or, if not employed at that time, the last occupation
usual address at the date of the birth
date of marriage, if married to the child's father at the time of the birth
number of previous children by the present husband and by any former husband
 


Lady Bracknell

Handbag at Dawn
Jul 5, 2003
4,514
The Metropolis
It's easy to get used to. I was one name for 21 years, married and had that name for 24 years and then remarried and have had that name for 14 years now.
A change is as good as a rest.

I'm sorry Yorkie but a change isn't as good as a rest! My ancestors managed to leave Ireland 150 years ago, settle in Australia, move to England and then back to Ireland without ever feeling so bored with their surname that they felt the need to change it! Since I bear the same surname, I see no reason to change the habit of several lifetimes!!

Nobody asks CHAPS to "get used to it" or tell them that any old surname will be a nice change! So why should women be patronised?
 






Yorkie

Sussex born and bred
Jul 5, 2003
32,367
dahn sarf
My comment about a change being as good as a rest was tongue in cheek as you well know. :)

The fact remains that your surname denotes which family you belong to. It's not about being patronised. You either keep your father's surname (or maybe in your case grandfather's name) or take your husband's name.
To me, when I married, I was entering a new family and therefore took a new name.

I also hate, with a passion, the title of Ms. It is neither fish nor fowl.
 


Gully

Monkey in a seagull suit.
Apr 24, 2004
16,812
Way out west
Roz makes a good point about family history in a surname, but there have been times in history when people have changed their family name to hide their true origin, either for good or bad reason. I am sure that if you look back in the history of this country you would find people who escaped the pogroms of the 30's came to Britain but then anglicised their names to hide their Jewish roots, I can find an instance in my own family where one of my forefathers did something similar. There will of course be those who have changed their surname for more sinister reasons, I once (maybe less than tactfully) in a really candid conversation with a German friend asked if there was anyone in their country today called Hitler...he laughed and said that most people called that had changed their names after the war.
 




tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,105
In my computer
Interesting points raised here - which makes me wonder why it became expected for women TO change their names? and when it began?

Odd thing is - I'm one of three girls - if we all marry and change our names, then our family name on that side dies out I suppose....sad really...
 


A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?
 


Les Biehn

GAME OVER
Aug 14, 2005
20,610
A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

I used to get a bit of a girl at Uni who had the same name as my sister. Was a bit weird.
 




tinx

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
9,198
Horsham Town
My missus took my name when we married because she wanted to not because I asked her or expected her but she wanted to, My son has the same surname and thats that.

If she had said I don't want to I would have been fine with that although I would have been upset if my son didn't have my surname.
 


Race

The Tank Rules!
Aug 28, 2004
7,822
Hampshire
I also hate, with a passion, the title of Ms. It is neither fish nor fowl.


Me too, I've never quite understood what it's supposed to mean! I'm a Miss and I dont mind that.

I'm the only one in the house without the Butters surname as we are not legally married, it doesnt bother me or them. We are a bit of a mish mash of a family so things arent always straight forward anyway!! I suppose I would take his name if we did get married though, not that it is likely to happen though!

The only time I get called Mrs Butters is when someone rings to try and sell me something I dont want which does me a right favour as I just say "no thanks" before they start on their sales pitch, so it has it benefits not being a Mrs!
 


Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
Me too, I've never quite understood what it's supposed to mean! I'm a Miss and I dont mind that.

I'm the only one in the house without the Butters surname as we are not legally married, it doesnt bother me or them. We are a bit of a mish mash of a family so things arent always straight forward anyway!! I suppose I would take his name if we did get married though, not that it is likely to happen though!

The only time I get called Mrs Butters is when someone rings to try and sell me something I dont want which does me a right favour as I just say "no thanks" before they start on their sales pitch, so it has it benefits not being a Mrs!



what!!!

How disgusting....all these people living in sin...tsk tsk...you will all burn in hell fire....just see if you dont

:angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:






;)
 


Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,875
my husband will have to either take mine or have our names double barreled. i like my last name


Respect. My g/f has a great last name and I'd be up for taking hers if we ever got married, either that or go for double-barrelled. My ex-wife and I weren't traditional, she kept her name and our daughter is double-barrelled.
 




tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,105
In my computer
A psychiatrist writes ...


Perhaps men aren't expecting their wives to take THEIR name? They are expecting their wives to take the name of their MOTHER?

What dark, freudian motives lie behind that?

Men always marry their mothers? ;) There is more truth in that than many may think to be honest....
 




Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here