Who has the Weirdest neighbour?

[bigjon]

i'm manager of sainsburys, and my neighbours are utter fucktards

 

[Oddsocks]

I looked out this morning to find a big burly bloke in my garden. I called out the window at him and asked what he was doing. He said "I thought you were on holiday"

I said; "No, we go tomorrow. Off to spain for a fortnight"

He climbed back over the wall and said; "Oh okay, have a lovely time" and off he went.

What a nice man.

 

[Insel affe]

When I was a studnet living in manchester a family of free loading scum bags lived opposite and when walking down the street and entering our house a member of the scumbags noticed I was smoking and asked if he could have a ciggy, stupidly I said yes and gave him one. Big mistake as he worked out what time I got home and waited outside his house and when he saw me coming would run over and ask me for a ciggy ! This went on for about a week by now I was getting pissed off so the next time he asked me I said nah sorry mate I am all out gotta go the shops and get me some..... Half an hour later a knock on the door and scum bag asks me... Have you been the shop yet ? Feck off and slammed the door.

 

[Doc Lynam]

BBC News - Woman wants to erect giant cross in North Hykeham garden

 

[Gritt23]

A few houses back we used to have a slightly peculiar set of neighbours.

Big strong, slightly frightening looking woman, who lived there with her second husband. All relatively normal so far then, but as soon as they opened the door to the house, it looked like one of those "My mum is a hoarder" programmes, with the house literally stuffed with junk.

They had a name to their house, but not the usual Dunroaming or similarly twee, oh no, their house was called "Witches Vulcano."

Oh, and her first husband lived in a static caravan at the bottom of their garden!!

 

[cmonbarrybringonwoody!]

we have some east europeans living next door, they're nice enough but one sunday morning 5am ish we heard some loud nonsense coming from outside. There we three of them bare chested putting on some mma fighting for us in jeans and slip on shoes. The other day very early morning when it was absolutely hammerring it down there was some bird shouting to a person on a phone : " yeah well you're always on facebook, chatting up other birds... yeah well f*** you too" this carried on for about twenty minutes i was just about to tell her to do one when i looked out. She wasnt on the phone, she didnt have one....

 

[BHAFC_Pandapops]

...Takes a lot to top that...

why? was he 7'0'' and 600lbs?

 

[Bridcutt]

I used to live next door to a middle aged woman who would openly masturbate on her sofa of an evening,curtains open (both sets!) and light on.Her lounge where she indulged in her self pleasure faced into her back garden which might explain why she was very popular with the men folk who had a house backing on to hers.

 

[KLF]

Mine is Gully. Seriously.

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

I'd have thought that 23 or 27 Cromwell Street would stake a claim to this one...

 

[del_boy]

I have a neighbor who cleans his car everyday, its a citron saxo with a d.i.y glued on body kit stick on exhaust thing the lot. He also is obsessed with having the same parking space.

Then there's a house a few doors up it had a fire and they found bunk bed's in every room housing 20 or so Chinese people. Mental how I never noticed any Chinese people going in and out.

 

[wunt be druv]

Mate,believe me,you don't want pics,it was scary,very scary.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Mine is Gully. Seriously.

Your in Selhust as well ?

 

[Shooting Star]

I live next door to a Palace fan.

I win.

 

[seagurn]

My neighbour had a bonfire in his compost bin....... then wonderd why it melted!! f'kwit!!

 

[User removed 4]

I was wanking once when a woman came up to the bathroom window and mouthed the words.................................get out of my f***ing garden !!

 

[Deleted User X18H]

I was wanking once when a woman came up to the bathroom window and mouthed the words.................................get out of my f***ing garden !!

That gave me one of the rarest things in my life. An NSC LOL.

Even though I have new found love for the Heath there are still a good amount of nutters roaming about. St Francis closed in 1998 didn't it? They can't have been running around since then surely!

 

[tgretton87]

When I lived in a flat on the ground floor I used to be able to come home from work on my lunch. One day the old dear who lived on the 4th floor with no lifts was pulling into the car park and had a whole lot of shopping so I offered to run it up for her took me about 10 mins but hey ho nice thing to do, except every day she would come home from shopping or have something else to take up even once when I had a late lunch she had a load of new cushions and sat waiting in her car for me so I could take them up for her.

 

[Nibble]

My neighbour is French and keeps cornering me when I am going through my front door and trying to engage me in conversation about Lino flooring. I used to live next to a grossly overweight irish man with a ruddy face and anytime you walked past his front door it stank, I mean STANK of raw meat. He never washed either. I lived next to a Spanish lady who used to have really noisy sex, ended up shagging her after getting into a conversation with her in the corridor about her noise. AMd I lived in Norfolk for a coupleof months,nomore needs to be said about that.

 

[The Offspring]

My neighbours a bit strange, been here for 6 months, in that time he has poisoned two of my Cats, tried to poison my Dog, poisoned his own fish (and blamed me for it), killed most of his Grass and good deal of the hedge, smashed up his fence, again blaming me, verbally abused my wheelchair bound wife on several occassions, and forever more having a go at my kids for being kids.

With his passion for poisoning things, I am just waiting for him to poison his own wife, or better still, himself.

Apart from that, he's a lovely old bloke.