Who has the Weirdest neighbour?

[Doc Lynam]

My neighbours a bit strange, been here for 6 months, in that time he has poisoned two of my Cats, tried to poison my Dog, poisoned his own fish (and blamed me for it), killed most of his Grass and good deal of the hedge, smashed up his fence, again blaming me, verbally abused my wheelchair bound wife on several occassions, and forever more having a go at my kids for being kids.

With his passion for poisoning things, I am just waiting for him to poison his own wife, or better still, himself.

Apart from that, he's a lovely old bloke.

Sounds like an interesting guy! Mind you i've been warned about poisoning the neighbours Chihuahua, bloody stupid dog.

 

[Willy Dangle]

my neighbour 2 doors down almost killed us (and all his neighbours), by setting alight to his terrace house and sticking bowls of open petrol in the loft. At around 2 a.m. He then did a runner, then topped himself at BEachy Head.
Takes a lot to top that (though I could tell you some other horrible things we suspect he did in the years leading up to the fire), but probably shouldn;t as unable to prove it.

That dosen't count because he's no longer a weird neighbour.

 

[pauli cee]

to be fair,
i think my nextdoor neighbour has the weirdest nextdoor neighbour.....

 

[Doc Lynam]

Saw mine in Tesco sniffing a banana once. Looks like a nut job aswell.

This still makes me laugh.

 

[Willy Dangle]

Not anymore, very normal neighbours, but in the past a lovely woman who was quite rampant in the bedroom department.

I honestly believed she was watching er, American "adult entertainment" in the middle of the night.

Call me stupid, but all I was hearing was "Oh my god - it's huge" in American accents. That's the clean version of course. You can imagine the rest.

Months it went on, until the accents slipped and we realised it was her and him.

Him being a number of chaps and on occasion a threesome.

Before you go to bed thinking of that, she resembled Deidre Barlow and one of the men who I met was about fat, balding and about 5 foot 4.

Just to make clear, this wasn't the couple downstairs banging the bed against the wall every now and then and I'm far from a prude.

It was a form of extreme amdram that kept me awake for a number of months. At times I was left slightly concerned about their health and safety.

I'm 5ft 5" actualy.

 

[The Wookiee]

This thread is hilarious, some very funny posts !

 

[Cian]

One side appear to be completely silent. I know its not the wall being hugely thick as its a rented house and I could hear the previous tenants making noise, often, as its a pretty badly built terrace.

These new ones have a baby and all and appear to live in absolute silence with no TV, radio, etc. Never heard the child cry even.


Other side will bang on the window if someone's in the back garden after about 11pm. Often had them do that, assume they were trying to sleep, then get woken up by them being a bit overly amorous at 1am...

 

[jevs]

one of mine sits on his steps staring at his plants for hours at a time staring at his plants and smiling dressed in a vest and short shorts

That's perfectly acceptable behaviour at Preston Rock Garden

 

[Weststander]

As a kid, our neighbours on either side were:

A mad old woman on one side who claimed she was Bobby Moore's aunt, and that he popped down to Sussex to see her often, but no one ever saw him. When she thought we weren't around, she smashed up our lawn sprinkler and also tried to knock our cat off the boundary fence.

On the other side was a miserable (kids and happiness hating) retired vicar and his wife. They use to spy through net curtains and run out to try and confiscate our cricket and footballs if they went on their land. Dumped a solidified gravy jelly on our lawn, closed our ground floor shower room window with a stick once when they didn't like my Dad singing in the shower, complained to my Dad that my brother was pulling 'skeleton faces' at them, and generally spent the last years of their lives being bitter.