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Where is the worst football ground you've had a PLOP at?



stripeyshark

All-Time Best Defence
Dec 20, 2011
2,294
Just discussing that hot topic of having a Plop whilst being at a game. I have never been at the AMEX but it looks fairly comfey, however I had a rather nasty case of the Plops after a long trip to Bristol City in the paint pot trophy one year and those toilets were seriously rancid.

The Withdean Stadium...
 




Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
13,104
Toronto
I cannot and will not poo in public toilets.
I used to be a courier in London, if I needed to go I would pop into a hotel and use them.
My list of conqests include Claridges, The Ritz, The Savoy and Browns (tee hee)
I was only ever turned away by doormen at The Dorchester

I like a courier that delivers a little bit extra.
 




RupertsFlan

New member
Nov 28, 2012
223
Goodness what a tremendous thread.

I have a huge interest in public places to perform bowel excavation. Slightly off topic the most outstanding lavatories can be found at the Victoria & Albert Museum. Soft tissue, ambient background music and no feeling of pressure to complete the deal in a defined timescale. A particular visit there, accompanied by a Wilbur Smith novel saw one of the most luxurious and possible time-consuming turds ever. A good 90 minutes gently pressing through the full variance of plop. the immediate drop, the secondary wave, the empty space - which can be void of action for a good 30 minutes, and then final removal of detritus plop. So important to really give the bowels a thorough clean through on a monthly basis.

Football grounds - I can tell you that Villa park was poor.Puddles of piss coming from the next cubicle as I sat there, plopping under extreme pressure - a King Canute-like plop as the tide of piss came under the cubicle wall.

A memorable turd at Brunton park - interrupted by a contorted face of a fellow Albionite looking over the turret and demanding I finish quickly as he was soil himself.
 






Husty

Mooderator
Oct 18, 2008
11,998
The Amex away changing room (sorry I'm sure it's been done multiple times)
 


British Bulldog

The great escape
Feb 6, 2006
10,974
I've never actually Pooped at a football ground, Come close to following through a few times but allways managed to hold it back.
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,342
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Plough Lane.

It was like the Somme in there, truly a sight beyond contemplation for a sensitive soul. I had driven up straight from work, so had not managed to visit a pub toilet, and been approaching Dresden for some time, I initially took a couple of looks at the facilities and decided to wait until after the match, but early in the second half had to drop the kids off at the pool as I had a mole at the counter, and was at the hopping from one foot to another stage.

The state of the toilet was so appalling I adopted a semi standing position, as there was no way my buttocks were going to kiss the Shanks laid on by Sam Hammann. Fortunately Douglas was ejected at speed, like an otter off a bank, and I was able to return to a turgid 1-0 defeat.

:lolol:

Goodness what a tremendous thread.

I have a huge interest in public places to perform bowel excavation. Slightly off topic the most outstanding lavatories can be found at the Victoria & Albert Museum. Soft tissue, ambient background music and no feeling of pressure to complete the deal in a defined timescale. A particular visit there, accompanied by a Wilbur Smith novel saw one of the most luxurious and possible time-consuming turds ever. A good 90 minutes gently pressing through the full variance of plop. the immediate drop, the secondary wave, the empty space - which can be void of action for a good 30 minutes, and then final removal of detritus plop. So important to really give the bowels a thorough clean through on a monthly basis.

Football grounds - I can tell you that Villa park was poor.Puddles of piss coming from the next cubicle as I sat there, plopping under extreme pressure - a King Canute-like plop as the tide of piss came under the cubicle wall.

A memorable turd at Brunton park - interrupted by a contorted face of a fellow Albionite looking over the turret and demanding I finish quickly as he was soil himself.

That might have been one of my friends after a bowl loosening weekend in Lancaster. Luckily I'd poured out all my rusty gravy at the guest house and just had to contend with an arse like the Japanese flag.
 




Braders

Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
Jul 15, 2003
29,224
Brighton, United Kingdom
Ewood Park - tracing paper bog roll!
 


Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
Was it Brisbane Road's toilets that didn't have a roof?
 


Se20

Banned
Oct 3, 2012
3,981
Blimey what's happening ? No mention of Fortress Selhurst ??
Worse toilets, in no particular order,
Manor Ground - Oxford.
The Valley - corrugated roof.
Plough Lane.
Goldstone .
 






Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,121
Haywards Heath
I have only had they urge to have an ease at one ground and that was when I arrived at Old Trafford of all places. The gates had just opened and the loos were still clean and shiny.

As it's the only ground, the worst for me, has to be OT.
 






Ninja Elephant

Doctor Elephant
Feb 16, 2009
18,855
Goodness what a tremendous thread.

I have a huge interest in public places to perform bowel excavation. Slightly off topic the most outstanding lavatories can be found at the Victoria & Albert Museum. Soft tissue, ambient background music and no feeling of pressure to complete the deal in a defined timescale. A particular visit there, accompanied by a Wilbur Smith novel saw one of the most luxurious and possible time-consuming turds ever. A good 90 minutes gently pressing through the full variance of plop. the immediate drop, the secondary wave, the empty space - which can be void of action for a good 30 minutes, and then final removal of detritus plop. So important to really give the bowels a thorough clean through on a monthly basis.

Football grounds - I can tell you that Villa park was poor.Puddles of piss coming from the next cubicle as I sat there, plopping under extreme pressure - a King Canute-like plop as the tide of piss came under the cubicle wall.

A memorable turd at Brunton park - interrupted by a contorted face of a fellow Albionite looking over the turret and demanding I finish quickly as he was soil himself.

World class post! :lolol: "tide of piss" :lolol:
 




BlockDpete

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2005
1,144
I can't remember having to "check out the facilities" at football ground either.

Though should the "dump" card only really be deployed to use up time, say at work, instead of something enjoyable like watching the Albion.

Having said that, the loo's at Withdean were perhaps the only warm dry place when the weather was shite.
 


Trevor

In my Fifties, still know nothing
NSC Patron
Dec 16, 2012
2,268
Milton Keynes
The game has improved greatly and most stadia have the customer in mind. My worst one was Boothferry Park, Hull - you had to navigate the largest lake of human urine that I have ever seen.
 




Billy the Fish

Technocrat
Oct 18, 2005
17,594
Haywards Heath
The only time I've had to do it was in austria at an England game. The bog roll holder had already been smashed so the bog roll had mostly been pissed on. I had to search around to pick off the dry bits. It wasn't sufficient and I had some MAJOR skids in those kecks by the time I got back to the hotel :nono:
 




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