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What's your best invention?









Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
Again not an invention, but I did once win an Oscar.

I couldn't get a film project off the ground, so I ended up making it myself.

Turns out even on a shoestring, the film came out rather well.
It had the most inventive twist in cinematic history, which is pretty much why I went on to win my Oscar.

I accepted my Oscar even mentioning The Albion in my speech.

I then went on to explain the 'greatest twist EVER', but at that point I woke up, and have no idea what it was. :facepalm:
 


DavidinSouthampton

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 3, 2012
17,356
Canned lettuce.

The ultimate in inconvenience foods. Instead of just picking a plant out of the garden and eating it raw, canned lettuce requires a complex harvesting process, journeys half way across the country to a suitable canning factory, distribution to consumers, a search in supermarkets among a whole range of other tinned produce, a journey home, storage, finding a can opener, a hazardous opening of the can, draining the contents, letting the lettuce stand to dry for two hours, and ... serve.

That made me laugh out loud. My wife wondered what was going on.
 








Puppet Master

non sequitur
Aug 14, 2012
4,056
Who needs expensive sex toys? I used to inflate a childs water wing, lube up the inside with vaseline, wedge it under the sofa and cushion and away you go! (See also: pint glass full of mince)
 


Razzoo

Well-known member
Sep 11, 2011
5,344
N. Yorkshire
To improve children's writing and make it fun I give you the" Sauce Pen", a pen like tube with a nib that's full of ketchup/brown sauce. Educational and tasty.
 




skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
The 60's was my best period for invention. One would still be current, but alas the materials to achieve it where not available in the 60's.
In those days I worked for a Company that had an agency for Chubb safes, the frail old delivery men and the male shop staff would be roped in to manually lift a Safe or Fire-safe up flights of stairs in and around Brighton. Using muscle power wood blocks and lengths of scaffold tube and wrecking bars. Unfortunately Health and Safety were two separate words that were not joined until many years later.
The invention was a lightweight fold up Safe or Fire-safe. As I said Kevlar as a material hadn't been manufactured then, now with these modern materials a lightweight safe would be possible. I've no idea why it's not been attempted yet.
Another invention that I actually made was the music center or Boombox. The previously mentioned company that I worked for would not let me fit a Radio into the company car. Don't forget this was about 1966 and Morris 1000 estates didn't come with fitted radio's.
I made a rectangular box with the two ends at an angle facing forward into which I fitted two 7" speakers, the Radio went into a slot at the top along with a Philips tape player which was linked to the radio to use as an amplifier. A lead to the battery and an aerial that clipped on the window completed the package which rested on the back seat. It worked extremely well, and with the addition of a suitable battery would have been even more portable.
 


Durlston

"You plonker, Rodney!"
Jul 15, 2009
10,017
Haywards Heath
No hangovers after taking MDMA the night before in my early twenties - just a large glass of orange juice and I'd go into work in the week or cut the grass on a Sunday. The next day was a nightmare as I got older and older. :down:
 


footychick

Nicola
Dec 8, 2005
4,406
Soham, United Kingdom
Not really an invention but I discovered I could use the baby bath stand to stand the washing basket on when I hang the washing out. The basket fits on it perfectly and it saves me bending down :)
 




Mackenzie

Old Brightonian
Nov 7, 2003
34,018
East Wales
Anti-theft car device.........basically a huge spring mounted spike under the drivers seat which deploys when the car is driven away illegally.
 


GoldWithFalmer

Seaweed! Seaweed!
Apr 24, 2011
12,687
SouthCoast
I have an idea to stop lorries jack knifing
 


Seagull on the wing

New member
Sep 22, 2010
7,458
Hailsham
gal_invention_rainy-day-cigarette-h.jpg


To start off i remember dreaming about a blow up slide as kid, and was convinced i was on my way to being a millionaire!
Just imagine a slide you could put in your backpack! Sadly there wasn't a dragon's den for kids as i would have been on my way.

(Schematics encouraged)

That's weird....I was also thinking of a blow up slide for the kids ....but had no idea where to place the dynamite!
 








GT49er

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 1, 2009
49,188
Gloucester
I invented the 99

True!

On Saturday mornings my Dad would take the week's takings to the bank in a taxi, and I would go with him. He'd give me a bit of pocket money, and I'd buy an ice cream cone in a shop that sold them a penny cheaper than anywhere else. With that penny I'd buy a penny bar of Cadbury's chocolate (yes, OK, it was a bloody long time ago!) and stick it in the ice cream.

Other kids saw me. 'Yeugh!' they cried - "he's putting chocolate in his ice cream - weird! Freak! Beat him up!" (and they did). 12 months later, every ice cream van in the land was making a mint flogging 99s - if only I'd known then about patents!!!!
 








maltaseagull

Well-known member
Feb 25, 2009
13,363
Zabbar- Malta
What's your best invention?

I don't think I have invented anything :)
 


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