What's your best invention?

[Brovion]

Maglev trains. As a boy in the 1960s I'd obviously seen how with magnets the like poles would repel each other and wondered if that could lead to frictionless transport. Then in my teens I dabbled with electronics as a hobby (any other 70s kids remember Phillips Electronic kits?) and tried to build a magnetic track along which a train could 'float'. However it was beyond my childish skills and the very best I achieved was having the train just floating there with no forward momentum.

However it was my idea. Can I have some money now please?

 

[Doc Lynam]

Archive - Totally Absurd Inventions & Patents, America's Goofiest Patents

Actual Patent Illustration - All Inventions Hold Real USA Patents


Bag Man
US Patent Issued In 1965

Stadium seats can be hard on ye ole buns and not all stadiums are domed for protection against bad weather. But you can still enjoy the game while sitting in rain, sleet, hail or snow in the Bag Man, your own personal padded biosphere for fallen fashionistas. This boxy invention combines a padded seat cushion with a weatherproof zippered cubist contraption that allows you to poke you face out to catch all the action. It even incorporates a lap flap that not only protects your lap from the elements, it also doubles as a serving tray. Now all you need to do is to stick your feet in a paper grocery bag to complete your exquisite ensemble.

 

[Brovion]

I invented the 99

True!

On Saturday mornings my Dad would take the week's takings to the bank in a taxi, and I would go with him. He'd give me a bit of pocket money, and I'd buy an ice cream cone in a shop that sold them a penny cheaper than anywhere else. With that penny I'd buy a penny bar of Cadbury's chocolate (yes, OK, it was a bloody long time ago!) and stick it in the ice cream.

Other kids saw me. 'Yeugh!' they cried - "he's putting chocolate in his ice cream - weird! Freak! Beat him up!" (and they did). 12 months later, every ice cream van in the land was making a mint flogging 99s - if only I'd known then about patents!!!!

Blimey, you must be old then as they were selling them in the 1920s.