[Misc] What's the longest wee you've ever had?

[GJN1]

I had one yesterday that lasted exactly a minute. Really surprised me to be fair...

 

[Petee]

I'm always forgetting my stopwatch so am unable to time it exactly but the one I had this morning went on for a bit

 

[GJN1]

I've also had number twos where I've sat down for so long that I get pins and needles in my legs and then keel over when I try to get up...

 

[Meade's Ball]

On the leg of a Canadian, whilst at Reading 2003, or thenabouts. The rain was pouring down, and into a cardboard pint holder did I slash for what seemed like 2 minutes. Unbeknownst to my boozy and slightly druggy head, the holder had not bottom to it, so the Canadian in question was the recipient of this warming cock-gush, from the knee down. I still don't know why he didn't mention it whilst it happened, rather than at the end, as if a stern stare through heavy rainfall would ever be seen or recognised by the mind of the addled.

 

[Hendrax]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

[Triggaaar]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

You've got that stop start problem

 

[Baldseagull]

Off the top of a scaffold, about 45ft I reckon.

 

[LlcoolJ]

On the leg of a Canadian, whilst at Reading 2003, or thenabouts. The rain was pouring down, and into a cardboard pint holder did I slash for what seemed like 2 minutes. Unbeknownst to my boozy and slightly druggy head, the holder had not bottom to it, so the Canadian in question was the recipient of this warming cock-gush, from the knee down. I still don't know why he didn't mention it whilst it happened, rather than at the end, as if a stern stare through heavy rainfall would ever be seen or recognised by the mind of the addled.

This could easily (and amusingly) morph into "strangest place/thing you have pissed on/in". Meade's Ball takes an early lead with pint holder/Canadian's leg. I'm sure I have a few which could challenge that though. I'll have a think....

Incidentally, my wife says (and previous girlfriends have also mentioned) that when I take a piss it sounds as if I'm attempting to drown a small animal such is the force and volume of the evacuation.

I put it down to having a massive cock. Or being a massive cock as some might say.

 

[Petee]

I've also had number twos where I've sat down for so long that I get pins and needles in my legs and then keel over when I try to get up...

That is just standard protocol

 

[Tricky Dicky]

I've not had a pee for 3 and half years. Shame, I used to quite enjoy it.

 

[Jesus Gul]

Wembley Way after a particularly slow tube from Baker Street. Late 1980s poss v Holland. A whole line of gentlemen with the same idea.

 

[papajaff]

This actually has more relevance than I would have ever thought. One morning last week, I had to get up around 5am as my bladder was about to burst.

Sat down for a wee (a topic covered once before and something everyone should do; direct aim, relaxing and you get more out) and thought "kin ell, how much longer"? Now wishing I had timed it.

Won't make that mistake twice.

 

[Rogero]

I have a wee every morning at 6 oclock. The problem is that I do not wake up until 7.30am. Boom Boom

 

[GJN1]

This actually has more relevance than I would have ever thought. One morning last week, I had to get up around 5am as my bladder was about to burst.

Sat down for a wee (a topic covered once before and something everyone should do; direct aim, relaxing and you get more out) and thought "kin ell, how much longer"? Now wishing I had timed it.

Won't make that mistake twice.

You live and learn...

 

[Goldstone1976]

Not sure, but considerably shorter these days than when I was a yoof.

On a somewhat related question I held the school record (at the time) for humming on one continuous breath - 97 seconds. Hyperventilation and diaphragm control is the trick.

 

[Pavilionaire]

At university coming back on a coach from Edinburgh to Dundee, post-football club revelry in their Union Bar with about 7 pints inside me.

We stopped halfway and it felt like I'd pissed two for the price of one, real horseman stuff.

 

[marcos3263]

That is just standard protocol

I take in the Ipad or a Private Eye and can happily sit on the loo for 20-30 minutes. My wife and son despair but I think I am really just looking for some me time.

 

[sydney]

at a new years eve party in sydney me and a pal positioned ourselves on the opposite sides of a planter box which had shrubs up to chest hight , the idea was to watch each others backs and drain into said planter box as the queues for people wishing to powder their noses were absolutely ridiculous and we were both busting so we continued to piss into the shrubbery for what seemed like ages .........upon leaving the cover of the shrubs we discovered to our disbelief and horror that we had pissed all over each other ......there were a reasonable amount of pharmaceuticals involved so we didn't really give a shit , but it was far from ideal.

 

[GloryDays]

Good question. I remember having one that lasted an eternity when I was about 10-12. Good flow etc. Still memorable but couldn't tell you how long it went on for. At around the same age I think I had my longest fart as well. Sadly we'll before the invention of portable cameras and commercially common recording equipment.

 

[Eeyore]

at a new years eve party in sydney me and a pal positioned ourselves on the opposite sides of a planter box which had shrubs up to chest hight , the idea was to watch each others backs and drain into said planter box as the queues for people wishing to powder their noses were absolutely ridiculous and we were both busting so we continued to piss into the shrubbery for what seemed like ages .........upon leaving the cover of the shrubs we discovered to our disbelief and horror that we had pissed all over each other ......there were a reasonable amount of pharmaceuticals involved so we didn't really give a shit , but it was far from ideal.

Just another night on the Darlinghurst Road...