Whats the best thing you've ever pulled out of your own body ?

[C1 BHA]

Sorry to be serious............bonemarrow.

 

[Gazwag]

If I organised a concert for the deaf, I could call it HEARING AID.

That'd be bloody brill, that would. (except they wouldn't be able to hear it....I've not thought this through, have I ?)

Are but if you had a faithfull sidekick - subtitle boy (known as 888 for short) you would be sorted.

 

[The Wookiee]

I had to pull out bits of broken glass out of my cheek once

Didn't want to go to hospital, but ended up there because it wouldn't stop bleeding!

Not to keen on hospitals or doctors so a couple of weeks later I actually pulled the stitches out myself

 

[Trufflehound]

me and my mate used to have, what we called, "Cheap Plonk Sunday Nights" where we'd go to the pub and drink the really SHIT cheap alco-pops, we used to get trashed as we drank loads, all of varying colours....which of course made for some interesting poo colours the next morning. Most notably a GREEN poo one monday...very Radioactive like it was

When at university my housemates and I used to brighten up our dinner by using food colouring in the spaghetti or mashed potato. That had a very similar effect the next day.

Blue and pink striped poo can be slightly disconcerting to the unwary.

 

[Easy 10]

Are but if you had a faithfull sidekick - subtitle boy (known as 888 for short) you would be sorted.

OK for karaoke purposes, but in concert terms, the deaf still wouldn't get too much out of it would they. Bit like fireworks for the blind.

Its back to the drawing board, I fear.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Mate of mine had a live snake pulled out of his arse a month after getting back from travelling in South America. The doctor threw up.

Turns out the thing had been growing inside him for months and it had started to pop its head out every so often to nibble away at his arsehole for food. He went to GP fearing worms or a tropical bug and out popped a bloody snake

 

[Easy 10]

SURELY thats simply not true.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

SURELY thats simply not true.

100 per cent true.

We tease him about it to this day!!

 

[Bluejuice]

That CANNOT be true

 

[Beeercan]

Ouch, did he keep it as a pet/momento?

 

[Braders]

a spoon

don't ask.

 

[Beeercan]

a spoon

don't ask.

Would it involve somethinga long the lines of your Avator Braders?

 

[Cian]

Never anything I'd call "the best" or indeed pulled out myself, but a lump of Kildare County Council's finest kerbstone had to come out of my wrist once - I still have a small raised mark from the scar that looks like I recently tried to slash it or something. I also had to get a nail removed from my foot - masonary nail, not toenail....

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Ouch, did he keep it as a pet/momento?

He hasn't got it, no. Was sent off to the Tropical Medicine labs, I think.

 

[Easy 10]

100 per cent true.

We tease him about it to this day!!

"Doctor Doctor, there's a snake up my arse"

"I see. Is there any HISStory of this problem in your family ?"

"No. But I've adder-nuff of this already"





*coat

 

[eastlondonseagull]

"Doctor Doctor, there's a snake up my arse"

"I see. Is there any HISStory of this problem in your family ?"

"No. But I've adder-nuff of this already"





*coat

Got to nick that one and tell him.

 

[clapham_gull]

Man goes to the doctors with a snake up his a*se.

Doctor tells him to insert an apple, a banana and a doughnut up his a*se in strict order for a period of two weeks.

After two weeks the snake has failed to appear so the man returns to the doctors.

The doctor advises him to continue with the treatment, but only to insert an apple and a banana into his a*se.

Man goes home, inserts the apple, then the banana. After a few minutes, the snake jumps out and shouts to the man "Oi!, where's my f*cking doughnut ?"

 

[Yorkie]

I will have to state the obvious (& keep tedebear company) and say my son followed by my daughter 2 years and 10 months later.

The afterbirths looked pretty impressive too.

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

An ex-girlfriend's false fingernail.

What a night that was.

 

[Soul Finger]

A turd shaped, almost perfectly, like a Cumberland sausage after a particularly filling curry, in Burgess Hill.